Is God slamming doors in our face....Or are we running into them head first?

Okay! I've been through hell & back here on earth. In 1996 my 4 month old baby was killed, CPS took my other children while investigating her death.2 months later her daddy admitted to killing her....



For the next 5 years.......I emotionally died & buried my self with my baby. I have no memories of my other 2 children(the oldest was 20 months and the other was my deceased babies twin) I couldn't tell you when the surviving twin started crawling,walking,talking-NONE OF HER 1ST. I have absolutely NO good & fond memories,the only memories I can lay claim to is the HELL I was living in!



And one day (a little over 5 years later) I just "woke the hell up". I hope nor NO one else ever gets sentenced to "that kind of hell on earth".



soooooooooo, what did I did? I started really "feeling" and "living" and "learned how to be". I'd say for the 1st time ever. Since I knew what it was like to be living in hell, I decided I was the only ONE who could do something about it!



Yes, I still cry for my lost baby-On the other hand, I reach out to those who have suffered this lose. I cry as I tell my story-not b/c of my loss,but b/c ppl have NO IDEA how "good" they have things in life!



So u ask a/b who's slamming the doors?? And I think, If we FAIL to reach out to others and perhaps fail to learn his lessons-THEN IT IS WE WHO HAS SLAMMED THE DOOR OR MANY DOORS