Apr 08, 2011
I had the weirdest panic attack ever. The other day at work I was reading about "locked-in syndrome", which I SHOULD NOT have been looking at considering my ridiculous health anxiety. And for the love of everything, if you don't know what it is, DON'T GOOGLE IT.
Anyway. Basically I think it is the worst thing that could happen to someone in my honest opinion. Being trapped completely in your own body? No thank you.
So I was trying to go to sleep and I started thinking about it. I read about people who got it after strokes, and 2 of them were really young. One was a teen involved in a car accident, and the second was a 26 year old mother of 2. I thought about how awful it was and how it hit them really out of nowhere. Then I became convinced within a split second that it was about to happen to me.
I got the heat traveling through my body and that stupid surge of adrenaline. I couldn't breathe and I was shaking uncontrollably. The whole time I knew how stupid it was and I kept telling myself to calm the eff down and stop being ridiculous, and it kinda worked. I didn't have a full blown attack, but it's the most intense attack I've had in quite a while.
Ever since then my anxiety has been fairly high, but still managable. I'm an idiot and stopped taking my prozac because I figured I was doing so well and I'm on such a small dose that I could go without it. I did this without doctor's permission. I know I am an idiot, and I definitely won't be doing that again.
I'm worried because I just booked a trip to Vegas for the end of May, and I'm flying. I've flown before but I haven't since I started having panic attacks. I'm really, really terrified that I'm going to have one on the plane and make a fool of myself.
Ugh. One day at a time.