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Letting go....

Apr 09, 2011 - 1 comments
Tags:

letting go

,

Miscarriage

,

Crying



I had a miscarriage on Monday, went to the hospital and they couldn't give me an appointment until Wednesday.  I chose not to have a d & c and went for a natural miscarriage (with tablets).  I just couldn't handle the fact that I could not be able to have children if something went wrong in the d & c, so I didn't take the risk. It was traumatizing but by Wednesday night it was over.  What if this happens again? Don't know if I could go through it again.

So its Sunday and I still feel so sad.  I'm trying to be ok, I'm really trying so hard I wish it was easier than it is.  I thought on Thursday I'd turned a corner but I hadn't woke up on Friday just crying again and haven't stopped.  The smallest thing sets me off.  Its hard because I don't feel like I have the right to be so upset still.  Its like you are expected to go through this and act normal afterwards.  Like your not really 'loosing' anything.  I mean how can you loose something you haven't even got yet.

I'm hoping tomorrow I'l wake up and feel a little better.  Had those hopes today but it doesn't look promising so far.

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1648123 tn?1314755631
by nina1123, Apr 09, 2011
I know the feeling...its happend to me before... and yes you have all the right to be upset, angry, and sad...we are humans with emotions... but dont be angry at yourself because its not your fault...you are still young and you can still have a child... God is good... and when it happend to me it was very hard to deal with because even though I never had my baby or seen it, it was still a part of me...it was still life... I thought at the time that maybe God was punishing me for something I did...but God is in no way cruel...but I had to tell myself that God wouldnt take something so precious away from me and not give it back to me 1000 times better... So keep your head up and get ready for your blessing... ;)

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