Apr 09, 2011
I had a miscarriage on Monday, went to the hospital and they couldn't give me an appointment until Wednesday. I chose not to have a d & c and went for a natural miscarriage (with tablets). I just couldn't handle the fact that I could not be able to have children if something went wrong in the d & c, so I didn't take the risk. It was traumatizing but by Wednesday night it was over. What if this happens again? Don't know if I could go through it again.
So its Sunday and I still feel so sad. I'm trying to be ok, I'm really trying so hard I wish it was easier than it is. I thought on Thursday I'd turned a corner but I hadn't woke up on Friday just crying again and haven't stopped. The smallest thing sets me off. Its hard because I don't feel like I have the right to be so upset still. Its like you are expected to go through this and act normal afterwards. Like your not really 'loosing' anything. I mean how can you loose something you haven't even got yet.
I'm hoping tomorrow I'l wake up and feel a little better. Had those hopes today but it doesn't look promising so far.