Apr 22, 2011
Just feel bad. Very anxious and depressed. Stomach is a wreck from all of these medications and I'm so confused. I have no Idea what to do anymore and I'm just trying to take it a day at a time. Can't find a decent job and that really makes things tough. Lease is up at the end of the summer and I have no idea where I'm going to live. The gym is my only solace. I wonder if the clonezapam is causing my stomach constipation? Thoughts are always racing really bad and even though the medications do help, the toll that they take on my body is wearing me down and I don't know if they help me enough to balance out the physical issues. I have to learn some kind of skill that I can make a living at and not be so miserable all the time. I wish I knew someone that would give me a chance and teach me how to do something. ANYTHING. Just feel worthless. I can't keep this up much longer. I know a lot of people have it much worse than me but, feeling like this all the time is still no way to live. BPD? Depression? Anxiety? Which one really applies to me? None of them? All of them? What am I? Who am I? Do I really have any friends? Will I ever have anyone to be close to? Wow. I wonder if anyone else thinks like me? I sure hope not.