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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 45

Apr 22, 2011 - 234 comments






Hi Tramadol Warriors!

This place is so magical. I am really happy that we all found one another.

Here's the place to be if you want off Tramadol ...

Love and Healing!

(PS. TY Nora :D)

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by NoraTorious, Apr 22, 2011
Thank you so much for continuing this post. We owe you so much starting this little safe haven for us.

Avatar universal
by kaz47, Apr 23, 2011
Hi everyone - just a quick posting to say hello and to celebrate the fact that my husband is now on day 103 free from Tramadol! Congratulations to all of you reaching your own individual milestones - whether thay be a week, a month, 3 months a 100 days or a year you should all be proud of yourselves and take heart that things DO AND WILL GET BETTER the longer you are off this medication. Time has literally flown since the beginning of January when he decided to stop taking this prescribed med cold turkey - what a lot we didn't know - and what a great help this site has been - I second what Nora says as without the people here I don't know what we would have done - I know that a lot of people read these posts and never post themselves - I also know from having read so many posts on here going way back that many people are sort of 'ashamed' that they have got seduced by this drug - whether it was prescribed to them or not!  I would say don't be - just concentrate on having the courage and will to take the first step to get off them and get control of your lives back. It isn't easy but most things worth achieving seldom are - 100 days plus and my husband is sleeping well (had terrible insomnia for a number of weeks initially and never thought he would sleep again!) - he still suffers a little from RLS but he had this mildly before taking the medication - it is difficult to know whether Tramadol made this worse or whether it just camouflaged the fact he had it - 3 years of these meds is a long time so who knows! A couple of weeks ago he went through several days of horrendous indigestion which has now disappeared as fast as it came - again - don't know if this is a left over of withdrawal or not. All in all though things are very good and we have so much to be grateful for.

Sooooo - please keep going - there is no denying the early days are difficult - but you can do it, we are always stronger than we know - love and respect to you all wherever in this world you may be - take courage in the success of others who have gone through what you are going through - there are many success stories here, take time and read - you will not fail to be inspired as we have always been - ask for help and advice and you will get it! Bon courage x

Avatar universal
by IamStillAlive, Apr 23, 2011
Hello, I've been reading this site for the past few days and I thought I share my experience.  I'm currently on the tail end of day 4 of my w/d (cold turkey) and doing OK but not great.  It's funny because a week ago I never thought I'd be in this position.  I've was prescribed pain pills (Vicodin, Tramadol later) for pain resulting from some back surgeries I had during high school.  I never really took them though during my HS and college years, the pain was never really that bad.  During my mid 20s, I was going through a lot of changes (moving to a new location for a job; moving out of my parent's house, starting a new relationship, etc.) and I began 'experimenting' as a way ton cope through a lot of anxiety I was facing (I also suffer from depression and general anxiety issues).  I went through a HUGE mental breakdown in early 2005 and that is when I began abusing Tramadol daily to get 'through the day'.  I've semi-stopped a few times over the years but always went back to the pills.  I found it is super easy to order them online, and have been doing so for the last 5 years.  I typically took anywhere from 2 -10 50mgs pills per day.  It's amazing, $160 every 5 weeks or so for 5 years.  

So back to the present, I went to re-order a new supply this week and I found my 'usual' online source was gone (ever notice how quickly these 'stores' disappear?).  So I immediately began searching for other sites and found several quite easily.  One problem though...........they only accepted Visa or E-Check (I only have Mastercard and there is no way I'm giving one of these sites my bank info).  I quickly thought about my possibilities of trying to apply for a Visa card or trying to use my wife's Visa card w/o her knowing.  In the end, I decided it was time.  For so many years, I found it so easy to order online that I didn't even experience any guilt like I did in the beginning.  A blessing in disguise I suppose that they no longer accept Mastercard.  I've been in therapy for several years and I've been taking Cymbalta since 2010.  I'm so sacred as how I'm going to handle day-to-day living (especially social situations) w/o my crutch.  I always thought I needed the drug to be normal.  I didn't even realize how emotionless I've become.  

My wife and I are thinking of purchasing a bigger house (we haven't started a family yet) and I just have no motivation/opinion about any of it which is frustrating to her.  I just want to come home from work and watch TV.  It's so sad........I've lost so many years already.  The last several years are such a blur, I accomplished nothing.  I hate my job, but hey come home pop a few pills and everything feels alright.  Instead of trying to deal with the situation, I chose to escape.  I know I have a long road ahead, but I feel great about finally being able to 'live' again.  Thanks for reading!

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by NoraTorious, Apr 23, 2011
StillAlive-you are in good hands here, and making the best decision you can. Soon you will be in a place where you live and not just exist. Hang in there!

Avatar universal
by jjp918s, Apr 23, 2011
Hey guys, I'm on my third week off of Tramadol, and I was just curious to hear if any of you experienced Insomnia that lasted past the second week?  I have not slept more than 3 hours a night since ending my love affair with Trams, and the w/d's were really not too bad this time, but jeeeeesus this Insomnia is just wretched.  Last time the w/d's were HORRENDOUS, but the insomnia only lasted about a week.  I am so much stronger and more focused this time that I have no doubt I'll stay off of the crap for good (my 30th bday is in 5 days, which was one of the main reasons for getting off of the crap....time to begin anew), but my god I could use some sleep.  

Something else I was curious about - did any of you have serious complications with your kidneys and or liver due to heavy use of Trams?  I've noticed some pain, but I think this may just be the result of Insomnia or my body adjusting to life without painkillers.  

Again, I'm just curious, not so much looking for tips, just want to hear what some of you experienced at this point.  I quit for 5 months in '08, but really the only terrible side effect I had after a week was depression.

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by NoraTorious, Apr 23, 2011
I still have bouts of depression, JJP. In fact, it seems pretty normal from all I have read in here. Sleep is one of the last things to adjust itself. I am sure it is making you crazy, I am one of those people that if I don't get enough sleep I am truly mess. As MadTram said, that she would totally fold if she was tortured with sleep deprivation. Me too! I would start giving every bit of info I had.

It seems the withdrawal from Tramadol does not have the same pattern, so while we all have the same withdrawal symptoms, they might  happen at different times of recovery.

The one saving grace I have had is baths. I always feel 100% better after one, so I try to take one every other day at the very least. I throw in some mineral salts which always make a difference.

Fight on!

Avatar universal
by jjp918s, Apr 24, 2011
Hi NoraTorious....thank you for responding.....I'm here in the middle of the country staying in on this gorgeous Saturday to HOPEFULLY find some sleep so that I'll be good to go for an annual Easter family function.

You are spot on about Tramadol and how we respond to withdrawals.  Last time I was able to take baths and they really saved me throughout, and helped me fall asleep...if only for a few hours.  This time I scalded myself on each knee, and several other places from frequent extremely hot "I cannot effin' fall asleep and feel like s" baths.

Although the insomnia is horrendous, I've found that music has been my lifeline throughout.  My theme song has been The Band's version of "I Shall Be Released", and their live version found here: .  It's funny how Trams can make you feel creative, but the results are never very satisfying.  I haven't picked up any of my musical instruments in well over a year, and found on Day 2 of wd's I was making my fingers bleed from playing the acoustic guitar again.......still not messing with the wind instruments yet as I am so weak from exhaustion.  

Anyway, I really have no point to make.....only rambling aloud as I try to come up with goals to work toward since I have all this free time due to the Insomnia.  If only I can make this side effect work to my advantage...

Avatar universal
by jjp918s, Apr 24, 2011
Oh, and IamStillAlive, I can completely relate on the job front.  I HATE my position too, as I have been underemployed for years with a truly miserable boss.  The trams made it palatable, but without them, I find the day going so, SO, so slowly.  For me though, I find that this could be a positive development in that: 1) I will hopefully boost my job applying efforts, which have been going on for some time now, and 2) maybe all time will finally slow down.  Regarding #2, it's amazing how much time flies when your schedule consists of thinking about when to dose up, etc.  It's hard to think about all the time wasted, and really, I would think it not a productive exercise until months after need to pile on.

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by kdemers4, Apr 25, 2011
Good morning everyone.. I hope that the weekend was well for you all.. Your so right IamStillAlive, on not having much feeling on tramadol.. When I came off the med I had a over whelming rush of emotions that I was not sure how to deal with. ( I took tram prescribed for 12 yrs) I am so much better with it now, and starting to enjoy my family. You are in good hands here. It does get better and your body will thank you..

Is anyone having issues of sleeping and twitching to the point of waking up your spouse or yourself? Not like a muscle spasm but more like jerking movements that hurt. I know I had that when I detoxed really bad, but confusing as to why It has returned. Could it be something else?

I do have problems with my stomach a lot of upper distention. Been to Neurologist, ER, and Endocrinologist (Today) I do feel i have some issues with left over Serotonin syndrome..

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by NoraTorious, Apr 25, 2011
KD-the stomach thing is pretty normal. I go up and down a size in my jeans, with my stomach getting so bloated. I have terrible gas, and I feel super uncomfortable. I also get the shakes real bad if I have not eaten.

I often wonder how much longer will it take for this stuff to completely exit my system. I am at 107-10 days, and there are a lot of good days. I still don't have the energy I wish I had, but I am much better than I was 100 days ago.

My husband (I do not care for the term 'hubby'- it kinda creeps me out) has an interview on Tuesday. He won't be making the kind of money he made as a software developer, but it is something he loves and will still utilize his huge brain. :-)

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by kdemers4, Apr 25, 2011
Thanks Nora, I hope your husband gets the job!! Always good to do a job you enjoy doing. Makes life much easier.
I wonder that myself, On the energy..  I am not near where you are in months clean, but I am wiped out a lot of the time. I feel mentally better, but i have days where I just cant get out of my own way. Best of luck to your Husband <3

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by rt35630, Apr 25, 2011
Goodbye Easter, for yet another year...Thank you Baby Jesus for getting me through Holy Week without bit***** anyone out and my computer and photocopier cooperating. It all went well. Music making was a lot more fulfilling and creative this year since I was off the tramapuke.

Things with my partner have settled down. He's going to Florida this weekend with his mother to visit his grandmother which will be very good for him. He's stuck in our house a lot so some time away from his usual surroundings will be good for him.

You guys and gals in the first couple of months...I really have been fighting the "depression" - lack of motivation, energy, etc, that sets in about the time the big physical symptoms of detox abate (except insomnia). It has seemed like forever that all I did was go to work then come home and hide in the bedroom. I've even had some big problem with my partner, who looks to me for the biggest part of his interaction with other people because he doesn't work, and he has been pretty lonely.

Anyway, about half way through April I started feeling a lot more "normal" all of a sudden. The fussing with Joe motivated me to just make myself do a lot of the things that were normal for us before I quit the trams, and I have very quickly found things getting better. I think it is a combination that most people say it takes 90 days at least before you really start feeling better without worrying with big W/D relapses, AND I pushed my body into getting back into normal activities such as non-work socializing and other regular activity that most of us give up early in recovery.

I still have my own set of personal problems that I was self-medicating over, but they are nothing compared with how badly tramapuke messed me up. Just do whatever you have to to stay away from those insidious, destructive pills, and eventually things will start getting better and better. Peace to all....Randy

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by kdemers4, Apr 26, 2011
It sounds like things are on the up swing Randy <3 .. I hope to get to the point of feeling motivated without the blah.. Sometimes I wonder if its withdrawals or my Lyme disease or other issues SIGH. I have been treated with antibiotics 3 times and yet I still test positive with no antibodies to show I am fighting it. I called my Doc yesterday due to having so much pain,I could hardly walk.. Weird as it comes and goes.  I told him straight out I do not want pain pills or inflammation meds, ( I have taken myself off all my meds) I asked him if its OK to take Prescription Motrin.. He didn't think it would harm anything but to me, I am worried about anything now going in my system.  I have noticed as you said Randy, Earlier on.. I have removed myself from social situations as I find I am full of anxiety. I am working on that... At times feel its hard to interact with face to face people.
Has anyone heard of Butter Bur? My neurologist suggested taking it for my headaches.. He says its all natural and is amazing for treatment, Many medical professionals are using it now. I figure I would throw it out here and see if anyone has tried it or heard anything about it.  
I wanted to share another thing that happened last night, I was digging around trying to find another bottle of Motrin which I found one.. I took it out dumped the pills out to see how many was in there. Low and behold, I found three trams in the mixture.. My old habit was to hide the trams I don't know why.. Anyways I sat there looking at them, thinking... I muttered under my breath about them.. My husband asked what I was saying so I shared it with him that I found them.  I dumped them into the ashtray he had on the table and took my Motrin... He said YOU DIDN'T TAKE THEM DID YOU? I said no they are in your ashtray.. He said if you take them I would have said...DAMITOL! I could see he was worried he got up and dumped them into the trash. I would in no way taken them, after everything I went thru I WILL Never want to return to a life of misery. I wrote a book here, rambling on... I hope and pray you are all well <3

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by kdemers4, Apr 26, 2011
Thinking about my comment on why I hid the trams (in reality) I guess I hid them in case I was without them...My backup plan? LOL

Avatar universal
by 4leefclover, Apr 26, 2011
Hello everyone!!
I have been off and on this post for a few years now. I quit tramadol for 1 year and 2 months and just started back on it 2 weeks ago. I feel terrible about it. I was struggling (and still do) with depression and anxiety off the trams and last October I came across 2 50mg pills. I took them and had such a wonderful feeling I haven't felt in so long. Over these last several months I've been saying "I just want that feeling again" so I ordered some on line...I didn't get that same feeling I was looking for but I did get some relief from the depression and anxiety and I kept taking them every day. It has been 2 weeks now. I think I will lose a lot if I continue. my partner would probably leave and everyone who knows and loves me would be so disappointed. NO ONE mind is crazy over this whole thing...I am afraid that the next order I placed will be delivered and someone will be home and find me out...I am afraid if I quit what kind of withdrawal I'll have ...the last w/d was terrible....although I was so happy to be off it...I guess I had a lot of unresolved problems under the surface that have kept me in trouble mentally....i need help

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by NoraTorious, Apr 26, 2011
4leef-can you wean of the trams it won't be so bad. I found my depression was les apparent off it, than on. Do you have any health insurance?

Avatar universal
by 4leefclover, Apr 27, 2011
Nora- I do have health insurance. why do you ask?  I think weaning is a very good idea. I will take less today than yesterday and see how that goes. thanks

Avatar universal
by LeaAnn807, Apr 27, 2011
Hey, 4lleef, I've been wondering about you!  I'm sorry about this, but you know what you have to do.  The biggest thing I think will help you is to figure out a way to treat the anxiety and depression, since that is what you like the trams to deal with.  Do you think that without those symptoms you would still want them?   Seems like I remember you trying some meds last year, and I guess they didn't really help much?  

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by NoraTorious, Apr 27, 2011
4Leef- If you are feeling depressed off Tramadol, you are probably feeling the effects of Tramadol's secret weapon, which is the antidepressant. I am almost horrified that a painkiller has an antidepressant baked right in. So I would see a Dr that might be able to prescribe the right antidepressant for you. I take effexor, the same medication in Tramadol. Getting of Tramadol made my chronic pain better, and the depression I was experiencing whilst on Tramadol is gone. Talk to your Dr about weaning on the Tramadol weaning, and finding a good antidepressant. Remember, you are human, I know you are worried about your partner and loved ones, but see your Dr so you can move forward. Best of luck.

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by NoraTorious, Apr 27, 2011
I am having a good day. I feel better, have a bit more energy. I am only taking meds 2x a day: my antidepressants and vitamins in the morning, and my sleeping meds/muscle relaxer at night. I stopped taking the vistaril and muscle relaxer during the day. So while I do not feel at optimum level, I do feel better. It seems appropriate to be feeling this way on such a gorgeous spring day.

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by studentoflife59, Apr 27, 2011
Wow.....I've been up most of the night reading postings going back a couple of years! What relief and happiness to learn I'm not alone in this tramadol trap....and to find out the symtoms are all related to THAT! I thought tramadol was just a pain reliever, but I notice that it was working as an anti-depressant for me. Now I know that's normal as it's part of the med. I take 2-50mgs in the morning and 2 in the evening. Having weird sweats and disruptive sleep....most nights, I tend to wake up day I slept 14 hours! I hadn't done that since I was in my 20's! I'm used to sleeping small amounts, so I don't fight it...I watch tv til I get sleepy again. I really hate the spaceyness tho...and lack of really being 'present' fully in the moment. And am finding it harder to connect with my spiritality through meditation. I'm used to connecting easily every has helped with my depressions for years. Now I feel disconnected, and finding myself mad way too often. My daughter actually likes that I'm getting back into being more social, and fixing myself up more, etc....but I suspect this is a side-affect of the tramodol. Oh....and I've lost 25 lbs....which is awesome.... Hard to decide to quit....but hate being dependent on stuff. And I am on this. If I go w/o ---- well-you all know what happens!!!
Just wanted to touch base and say think you for this forum! I will be lurking and reading, for sure! And when I do 'jump off' or begin weaning...I will be so happy to have your support. What a blessing this is. :*D

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by NoraTorious, Apr 27, 2011
Student-Welcome! You couldn't of found a better place to be.

The weight stuff is hard. I put on a lot of weight since getting off this garbage, but my energy is returning. I also am no longer agoraphobic, so I know I can lose the weight I gained. Tramadol made me depressed and nervous. I think the more I took, the longer I have been taking them, the worse I have felt. Being off of this crap has opened my eyes around me and gave me a total attitude adjustment. All my friends and family have seen the change in me. It will do you more good to get off, and more harm if you continue.

I had really weird sweats whilst on Tramadol, and rotten sleep. Those sweats have disappeared and I am sleeping better.

Please feel free to post as much as you want. I am glad you are here.

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by studentoflife59, Apr 27, 2011
Thank you NoraTorious!
    I, too, have bouts of agoraphobia...people probably think I'm pretty weird...cause I just stay in my apartment most of the time. Am trying to come out of it...but it's hard. I'm hyper-sensitive to people and their vibs.
    So glad to hear that you're doing so much better. You are an inspiration. I DIDN'T want to get addicted to anything...I quit smoking after 30 years and quit speed too...and after having a bulging disk and experiencing more pain than I ever knew was even possible...the dr. prescribed tramodol--assuring me it wasn't addictive. Rightttttt!!! One expects them to know what's going on with the drugs they recommend! But I know they're just human...and can't try everything, so I try to be forgiving. I will clue him in about it next time I see him though.
    I so want to be the passionate artist and active participant in life like I used to be. Just excited to be alive....outgoing and so aware of little joys like the smells, the birds chirping, and just joie de vivre! Been over a year now since I've really felt that for more than a short while.
   Anyway....hugs for the info and support. :*)

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by ullr, Apr 28, 2011
Just want to post a short update from Norway:
The short verson is that I feel better. Have more energy. Sleep better.
Walking/slow jogging for about two hours a day. Go to work.(50%)
Take minimal of anxeticum, not every day. I still have some shills.
That strange feeling of dizzyness, comes in shorter waves.

But I am depressed. Having big problems with my family.

Sorry I can not follow up all you others. I come back with someting more later...

Avatar universal
by Sydney0502, Apr 28, 2011
Hi all,  can someone "knowlegable" explain to me why Tram or basic Opiates make you crave sugar so bad>?!  I am on a sub taper from Tram and trying to get my carbs back on track.  

On Tram (over 1000mg a day when I was on it)..ate bags of chocolate as my primary diet.  Obviously that is not going to work now that Im off..but not sure if these strong cravings I am having are just in my head from "ingrained behavior" or the opiates in Sub (similar to Tram) are making me crave still.

So my question is this:
  1)  WHY do opiates make you crave carbs so much;
  2)  Can you be on a low carb diet while detoxing from an Opiate or is that crazy??

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by NoraTorious, Apr 28, 2011
Sydney, at this time, I think you should be more focused in taking care of your body and giving it what it needs. You can still diet once you are fully recovered. I know you like being thin-we all do. But putting on a few pounds is not going to kill you. And yet, staying on Tramadol just might.

Your questions are more the specialty of Madtram, she would be more knowledgeable to be sure.

Ullr, it sounds like you are doing so well, I am sorry about the family issues. Please keep strong.

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by rt35630, Apr 28, 2011
Just letting everyone know Joe and I survived the tornados. did damage to our house, as well as my parent's lake house and Joe's mother's house in Nashville, but everyone is okay.

People need prayers. Two whole towns near here are not on the face of the earth any more.


Avatar universal
by Sydney0502, Apr 28, 2011
Hi Nora, I appreciate your comments and understand where you are coming from.  Moving forward, I will just google my answer.

I probably should just let this be but want to give my 2 cents to your comment on "taking care of my body once you are fully recovered..."

I believe my eating had alot to do with why I ended up on opiates to begin with - in retrospect the depression, irritability, unconsulable cravings when I just ate a big meal, tired all the time, lack of energy.  I started getting sick almost every month with swollen lymph nodes, sore throat and horrible body could not explain why it kept coming back.  Eventually, trying to overcome these syptoms ...I was acquainted with Tram and here I well as so many on here.
Thanks to God,  I have 3 years sober from alchohol and in my short although significant experience with being on Tram (3 years) and now in recovery on Sub (off of Tram over a month)..I (personally) believe that "now" is the time to take care of myself..not later.  Eating, excercising, ..."living well" ..its all together.  

From my experience thus far getting off Tram (and weaning off Sub) the best most effective tool in recovery is "living well".  Keeping spiritually fit (daily prayer/reading),, raising family and eating well.

I have already discovered that eating poorly is the main correlation to most diseases and early demises.  It is a shocking revelation but what I have already discovered by picking up a few books (The Zone, South Beach, Against the Grain....) keeping carbs to a minimum and consuming mostly non-starchy vegetables can do remarkable 360 to a person's health and all over well being.  So much so, lives can be compltetly altered where once suffering was the staple to ailmaents such as diabetes, heart disease, depression, arthritis and the big one on these forums.."fibromyalgia".    So eating well in my humble opinion is not only wise to start now, absolutely essential if I care about my recovery and long term health and sobriety.  

Anyway, my question as to why Opiates make us crave was to tackle my late afternoon/evening "weak" areas when Im tired and thoughts keep coming to "excuse" the bag of reecey cups or whatever high carb (low nutrition) food item I am starting to obsess about..telling myself the "lie" that its ok..Im in recovery...its actually not ok and there are many reasons why I should not eat crap.  But knowing how our body responds could help me since knowledge is power and I believe another example of the "truth setting us free"...

Anyway, please forgive my blabbing ....

This is my "anxious" time so forigive me if I offended anyone. It clearly is not my intent.  

Blessings to all you Tram prayers are with you all.  :)

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by madtram, Apr 29, 2011
Nora, so glad you are starting to reap the fruit of your freedom from traumadol.  I hope your husband's interview went well & he gets some good news.

Kdmers, you seem to be doing really well also.  There are a number of clinical trials which support the use of butterbur for migraine & it seems to be low in side effects so definitely worth a try.  Vitamin B2 and acupuncture have also been found to be effective.

Randy, very glad you survived the tornadoes.   2011 seems to be the year of the earth's discontent.  Prayers are with you & your neighbours.

Ullr, sorry about your mood.   If the St John's Wort is not helping, you may want to take up Nora's suggestion to 4leef & talk to your doctor about effexor or another antidepressant.  It sounds as though you are doing all the right things with exercise so a small amount of chemical assistance may help you get back your enthusiasm.

  4Leef, I agree with Tramahater & Nora, there is no shame in needing an antidepressant & if tramadol worked for your depression, there is a reasonable prospect that effexor may also suit you. Sneaking around with tramadol & waiting for your life to self destruct must be the worst of options.

JJp, how's the insomnia?  I have started acupuncture with a very experienced practitioner recommended by a friend & am finding it more helpful than any of the non prescription remedies I have tried so far.  I am so loving getting that sleepy feeling back around bed time, instead of the 'I'm so wired' feeling.

Try 600 mgs of N-acetyl-cysteine plus St Mary's thistle for liver detox & try to avoid NSAIDs, (motrin, nurofen,) , acetaminophen or paracetamol, all of which are hard on the liver & kidneys.

Sydney, agree that you will benefit from a good diet but it needs to be something you can realistically stick to.  Cutting way down on carbs can make the cravings worse & make you feel more out of control.  Carb cravings are often a result of serotonin dysregulation which is possible after quitting tram.  5htp can help stabilise serotonin levels & reduce cravings.  

High protein grains such as quinoa & low GI starchy vegetables like sweet potato are good for filling the tummy & satisfying the body's need for its main source of fuel, glucose.  Cut your carbs too low & you are probably going to feel sluggish.  Keep high protein snacks like almonds around, (they have as much protein as beef), good quality protein is an important source of the amino acids you need to build neurotransmitters.  A whey protein smoothie including a banana is a healthy low GI boost out of a late pm slump.  Likewise a slice or two of dark chocolate made with stevia rather than sugar, (there are some yummy brands out there).  Hope some of this helps.

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by SheLiz, Apr 29, 2011
Hi Everyone

                 I just arrived home last night after 11 days away camping and working at a music festival in Canberra.  Being able to do the trip and the work in itself is a great improvement on how my energy levels were before.  Another great thing is that I ran into dozens of people I haven't seen in ages who all told me how well I look and how healthy my skin and eyes were (pretty good considering I got about 4 hrs sleep each night and there was lots of socialising/drinking involved).  So, if numberous people can think I look great in that condition then I must've looked pretty awful when I was back on the trams and other meds.  
               Very happy with where I'm at.  Also glad to be home so I can get back into some exercise and healthy living.

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by kdemers4, Apr 30, 2011
I am keeping Randy and everyone else in the areas where the tornado's hit in my prayers..

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by DamTram, Apr 30, 2011
Sorry for not posting...was at a yoga retreat in Mexico and now am in la house sitting and visiting ucla.  Guess what I found in the master bathroom?  Tramadol 200 cr.  I took one 10 minutes ago and wanted to confess immediately.  I have a slipped disc and have been in so much pain and they put me on Valium but it's not helping, only making me tired and flaring up my IBS.  I'm not feeling the effects yet, but I'm scared for when I do.  Am I going to go through withdrawal all over again?  My friend is staying with me on this trip, and she is down at the beach by herself bc I was tied to the toilet and bed.  I'm scared because I don't feel as much shame as I should.  I guess this is what happens when you cancel your Internet for financial reasons and don't keep up with this site on your phone.

Haven't read all the backposts, but hope you are all doing way better than stupidhead me.

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by NoraTorious, Apr 30, 2011
Oh DamTram, no worries. Everyone makes mistakes. Do you still have access to it? You might want to find a way to conceal it from yourself. I am not sure what will happen, but that is a pretty big amount to be taking. And also with taking valium, you might not  want to repeat that.

I hope you are able to get on the wagon again, and most impotently, don't beat yourself up over this.

Avatar universal
by Ryan2039, Apr 30, 2011
Hi everyone. I am Ryan, I am 27. I live in St. Paul, MN and I am new to the site. I have been addicted to Tramadol for 1.5 years, about 400 mgs a day. I am on my 5th day of quitting cold turkey as I just didnt feel like me anymore. I still have some withdrawals which I have been expecting just curious as to vaguely how long they last. Most importantly the Insomnia. When I lay down and watch tv I feel fine but the minute I shut my eyes in an attempt to fall asleep I cant stop moving. I feel completely restless. Very uncomfortable feeling. The depression and anxiety are through the roof but Im guessing that is a normal withdrawal feeling? Not suicidal, more feeling sorry for myself. (I shedded some well needed tears on the way to work today.) Also cold symptoms; sneezing, uncomfortable chills etc.

I have a thousand things going on everyday just like the rest of you I am sure so just curious about the withdrawals. Working 2 jobs and going to school is a little tough when you have no energy!

Thanks a lot guys. I dont know a single person that ever used Tramadol so its very hard to relate to just anyone!

Avatar universal
by kaz47, May 02, 2011
Hi Ryan - Day 5 is fairly early days I think - the symptoms seem to vary in type, intensity and length of time according to the individual - for my husband the insomnia was the worst symptom and unfortunately lasted the longest (read back some of our earlier posts and you will get the general idea!) - however - as I said everyone is different. He was on Tramadol for 3 years for a back problem and generally was on no more than 4 x 50mg a day so longer than you but less dosage. I think the only thing to do is accept (I know easier said than done) that your sleep patterns will be fairly screwed up for a while - the first couple of weeks are the worst but things do then start to improve daily BUT you have to try and hang in there and don't cave in to the Tramadol - my husband is now on day 113 and last night kept ME awake with HIS snoring LOL!!!!! Read some past postings - people have all sorts of ways of dealing with lack of sleep - baths, vitamin supplements, exercise, yoga etc etc - read back and you will find lots of methods that people have used - my husband didn't take anything because this experience has made him distrust anything that resembles a pill and that comes out of a bottle! However, find something that works for you - these early days seem never ending but they do PASS and you will feel so much better long term off this rubbish.  Well done for getting through the worst few days. You can do it!

DamTram - so you had a weak moment - none of us are perfect - I feel for you with regard to the slipped disc - it was a prolapsed disc and back surgery that started my husband on Tramadol in the first place - however be strong and don't take any more of that rubbish - he still has issues with his back - they haven't disappeared because he stopped taking Tramadol - however he is finding sensible exercise helpful, is watching his diet and is trying to relax more (easier said than done) Living with back pain is horrible - a friend of ours with a similar condition swears by Tai Chi (is that how you spell it???LOL dyslexia rearing it's ugly head again!) Have you tried it? If you are into yoga it might help. If the pain is really not managable talk to your doctor about alternatives - I don't know what the situation is in the US but in the UK doctors are more and more seeing the benefits of prescribing alternative therapies to compliment medication - a friend of mine was actually directed to an actupuncturist for her back condition by her doctor, with positive results. How is your mum doing by the way? Hope her recovery continues and life is treating her well.

Nora - hope you are doing well and that your husband gets a job soon - there is something out there for him I am sure (and equally sure he will find it). How is your art going? Have you had any thoughts about exhibiting what you do? Scarey but why not? Lifes too short not to take the odd risk - have you a website where we could see it?

Madtram - glad to see you are still here and still offering excellent support - hope you are well and that life is good for you and your family after your loss.

ULLR - our fellow European - hope you are feeling more positive - it's normal to have up and down days when coming off this rot and things will gradually even out - many people on here have said they have had issues dealing with family and friends when coming off this drug - having been the other person in the equation I noted my husband had a lot of mood swings in the first few weeks - I made allowances for that but sometimes it was so exasperating I wanted to throw something at him - obviously I didn't, but the point is it's hard for your family to adjust to what you are going through too, so this can sometimes cause conflict - making life changing decisions when coming off this drug are not recommended! Also, don't know about anyone else, but my husband became more anxious over small situations that he would otherwise have found trivial. Nearly 4 months in this has all but disappeared, so take heart form the fact that things will start to even out for you.

Anyway - my radio's just started playing 'Can you Feel it' by the Jacksons and I just have to go and dance! - long story involving my mispent teenage years, but put it this way when I hear that song I am 16 all over again! Happy dancing - hope the sun is shining where you are - love and respect as alwaysx

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by rainallday, May 03, 2011
Heyall Just checking in to say hey.
Doing great here working more than double the hours I was before April..Still no smoking since april 6th. Never think about tramadol. Still riding bike, at night, for fun. Something thereaputic about riding around in the dark! Car is doing well, took weeks to get it registered but it was worth it. Pizza delivery was never so luxorious!
     Still planning on getting back into tennis and running, but all in good time.
Still hoping people here find whatver help they need...a.k.a guided hypnosis!!!!!!!!!

Avatar universal
by IamStillAlive, May 03, 2011
Well, I’ve made it over two weeks which is kinda cool.  I read a lot of entries from this journal, and I don’t seem to have the same attitude as others here.  I never think of Tramadol as ‘devil pills’ or would want to participate in any sort of class action lawsuit.  These pills helped me through a very rough time in my life, I’m not even sure I would have lived if I didn’t have something to ‘take the edge’ off so to speak.  Although I do realize that once I began abusing them daily they turned me into an emotionless robot, who never really dealt with anything.  I still miss the ‘feeling’ of being able to make a bad day good by poping a couple of pills.  I’m not a very social or talkative person in general, so I also miss the anxiety reducing elements in social situations.  It has nothing to do with people’s expectations or wanting to be liked.  I just found people much more enjoyable when taking tramadol LOL.  Ah well, those are my thoughts for the day.   Hope everyone is doing well.

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by kdemers4, May 04, 2011
Iamstillalive... I have the same feelings towards social situations. The tram did take the edge off and deaden my anxiety and emotions and found I liked that. I find myself at times being very uncomfortable and not sure what to say. But I am trying to put myself in group situations to come back to where I was 12 yrs before all this. I used to be very social, outgoing.  I hope I will gain this back. I am more upset at the lack of information Doctors have towards this medication. My ex Doc still doesn't see Tram for what it is.. All I can do is remove myself from him..
Hoping everyone is well... <3

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by NoraTorious, May 04, 2011
Oh it helped me a great first. I was sleeping great, able to be social, my chronic pain
N was in check, etc. Then it got worse and worse. I went from being a rare no- show to a complete no- show. Then I could not get any decent sleep. I had weird sweats. My depression got worse. My pain returned, I took more. I became agoraphobic and suicidal. Took more pills.

Going off this stuff made all (stated above) this crap disappear. I still have pains, and I get blue, but I feel so much better than before. I am able to be social without freaking out. I can be optimistic again. This is what worked for me. Your mileage may vary.

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by NoraTorious, May 04, 2011
Oh, I forgot. Tomorrow will be my 120th day off this stuff. 3 months. Yet, I made it.

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by Insaneenough, May 04, 2011
Hello All!  I'm "Insane-Enough" (but you can call me Ellie, for short!) and I'm new here. I have been taking the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde of the drug world for around 10 years, on and off. The last 7 years have been a solid ON - (except for the 8 months I was pregnant, six years ago).

I am going to do this backwards, as my story is way too long for an introductory post. I'd like to get to my issue/questions first and save salutations and words of gratitude for later. This way if I bore you with my wordy nature I hope you'll quit reading AFTER the important stuff. :)

I am currently on my fifth day of a forced tramadol cold turkey nightmare. I have been taking about 20 (yes 20) 50mg pills per day for a year.  This past Wed. my pharmacy figured out my two-scripts-at-once scam and refused my refill. And surprise surprise, there was a problem with my credit card and the online "pharmacy" failed to deliver the next day. There was no hope of getting anymore, anywhere.  So I said F*** IT. It's time to quit.

I'm writing because I haven't seen my exact situation discussed (to be honest, however, I have not read ALL the posts so I may have missed it. Please forgive me if this is redundant).  I have Bipolar I disorder. I take effexor(!), xanax, trileptal and now adderall along with the 1000mg Tram everyday.

Because I was quite concerned about just going cold turkey after taking such an outrageously high dose of Tram for so long, I purchased five 80mg Oxycontin to ease the withdrawal symptoms. To all those people who insist Tram is not an addictive and powerful drug - try explaining how the much touted "hillbilly heroin" is merely helpful at managing the Tram D/Ts. (DON"T WORRY:I have rarely have even limited access to Oxy and I don't like the foggy way they make me feel - so addiction to the little devils isn't even an option- especially at $10 a pop!).

By this past Monday the five Oxy's were gone. I went strait up cold-turkey (does anyone know where that term came from??) and by mid-afternoon i was crippled by the WORST BACK PAIN I have ever experienced. I could not bend down, sit down, lay down, squat and certainly no sleep- nothing. I mean, I have been through serious pain in the past (horse-back injury where i was thrown and landed CHIN first on the ground - dislocated neck,  jaw and broken leg and foot - for example. Oh, and the time I was run-over in my Volkswagen by a semi-truck. Indeed, I said RUN OVER. But more stories can come later...) Anyway, by the time my son came home from school, I was desperate for relief. I talked to my ex-husband about it and he handed over 11 tram-devils and i took 3.  Within 1 hour the pain was gone. It was a relief but also a shocking moment. It simply reinforced my conviction that the drug is evil.

So now, because I cannot go cold-turkey I am weaning. Weaning is a great test of will. However, I am bolstered by my amazement at how gross I feel now when I have to take it.  I took three pills after 5 days without taking any and HATED the way I felt!  All these years I thought it was my greatest friend and after only five days without it, i realize how messed up it really makes me.  Some friend.

My point here is: if you are thinking of stopping but afraid to try: don't be. My method of switching to a real opiate for a few days to ease into the withdrawal may not be orthodox but it turned out to be brilliant in my case. It got me off the drug long enough to have perspective and to get a feel for life without it. 24 hours after I took my last pill (last week -before I gave in to the weaning process) my eyes looked like someone else's. People who didn't know commented on how good i looked! 24 hours, people! I felt like death and my eyes read, "ALIVE". Can't say i look that sunny now, however, it was that brief look from behind the veil that has given me determination. So in one week I have gone from 20 pills a day to five. And tomorrow it will be four. I don't have any script left so I am weaning off on the very small supply I got from my ex. Do i feel good? No. I feel like something the dog left in the backyard. But I feel POSITIVE and that hasn't happened in many years.

But I have digressed. Are there any other Bi-Polars on this forum? Any who have succeeded in getting off the drug completely? I am very curious to know how your experience has been. I am concerned that leaving this drug and its miracle anti-depressant properties could make me go insane any moment. How badly has it effected my disorder? Will it trigger a horrible episode? Will I be on top of the Empire State Building a day from now, professing my love for my ability to fly?? And as always, any support from any tram survivors would be greatly appreciated. No one knows what this is like. Doctors don't care and the rest of the world feels superior because being addicted to food or sex or television or whatever else makes them "better", right?. If you are on this forum you know what I'm talking about.

Many thanks to all of you who made it this far into the post! You have given me so much hope - I'm not alone anymore!


First I want to thank each and every one of you who post here and also to all of you who simply come here and read.  I have no doubt the supportive energy has saved more than one life. I have been surfing the web for years to read about Tramadol in all manner of forms.  Amazingly, I have learned more about it from THIS forum than in all the years of surfing combined! As we all know, there are hundreds of sites telling you how to GET it, but not much about getting OFF of it.

I stumbled upon this forum via a link that brought me to the first posts back in 2008. It is my GREAT relief to find you all still going. Thank you.

My story is too long to write out in this first post. Briefly: I was prescribed this drug ten years ago for Fibromyalgia because it was, of course, "non-addictive and not an opiate"!  "MIRACLE DRUG!!" (It's a miracle alright, just not in the way my Dr.s (the whole lot of them over the years) meant it to be.)

Avatar universal
by Tramadoc, May 04, 2011
I've been taking tramadol for 9 months.  Initially I started after a surgery for pain relief.  Then I noticed I was losing weight and thought this stuff is great!  Went from a 40 waist to a 36 in about 6 months.  Trouble is, after those 6 months i got to where i cannot maintain my balance, am tremulous, and exhausted by just getting up and getting some water.  Didn't want to go anywhere, do anything, see anyone.  My wife noticed this change in me and said I had to quit.  So this week I've started my taper - after 3 days I'm on half as many and plan to reduce the dosage daily.  Mornings are horrible but it gets better during the day.

I've been reading this blog for the last few days and have really found it to help me stay on task.


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by NoraTorious, May 05, 2011
Ellie, Tramdoc, Welcome! I know this is a rough road, butstick with it. I am here as proof it can be done. I am 4 months off this crap, and I NEVER thought in a billion years I would make it this far. .

Ellie, I am not Bipolar. I suffer from GDD. I do not have high highs and low lows. It was interesting to me, though, that this med (which as you know, has effexor baked right in) was making me more depressed than I have ever been. I was suicidal, paranoid, agoraphobic, etc. And was taking about as many pills as you as well as another antidepressant. (lexapro at first, then, effexor, though at the time I did not know about Tram's secret ingredient of effexor mixed with the opioid).

I can easily say that my major depression symptoms disappeared after I had been off Tramadol a week or so. and I think that has to do with the effexor I was taking finally had a chance to do its thing without Tramadol getting in the way. Don't stop taking the meds you are taking (except, of course, the Tramadol). Do you see a regular dr for your depression? Can you tell the Dr what is going on?

From what I have come to understand, you are likely to be in more danger on the Tramadol than off. But I am no Dr, I am just giving you a slightly educated guess.

It sounds like you have been through a lot, I would like to know more about you, if you are willing to share.

Avatar universal
by Ryan2039, May 05, 2011
Hey guys. Quick question. Before I started taking Tramadol I was suffering from IBS. Always having stomach aches and scared to eat in public etc. While I was taking Trams I noticed it was completely gone. That went for percocets as well.  Is anyone familiar with what is in these pain relievers that slows everything up a bit and relieves all symptoms? I tried ib profin but same results. And I have tried several other options also. Imodium, fibercon etc. Thanks a lot.

Avatar universal
by Fullstop, May 05, 2011
I found this site purely by looking up something for RLS. To's the worst part about this. I thought I could do it alone. I followed the Thomas Recipe. Nothing works. It's debilitating. I broke down, and called my new doctor and she called something in. But some background about me and my situation..BTW...My name is Michael. Heh. Tact isn't one of my strong suits and my typing follows my stream of consciousness.

I'm 29 years old.

Is there a difference between addiction and dependence?

My father was an addict, and physically violent. My brother took that side of him and is addict as well. Anything to get that feeling. Chasing the dragon.

My mom is as well. Painkillers. 3 major neck surgeries. My step dad is as well...which may have had an enviromental effect on my brother.

I'm greatly terrified of my ability to perhaps become my dad. I'm bi-polar, and suffering from PTSD from my brother stabbing me in the head. I'm in many ways, I am considered ****** up, by myself.

I function. I always will. Here I am. Today. On the other end of the state, living with my in-laws because we had our place ripped out from under us. But let me rewind a bit.

For almost a year now, I have been suffering from Sciatic pain in my right leg. It is enough to cripple a person. Nothing will make it stop. Some things work for some, others it will not. I am a will not. I went to my doctor who perscribed Ultram. (Tramadol). A non narcotic, but it acts like one.

I've been on it for as long. Sometimes having to ask him for something stronger because the Tramadol will not make a dent once it's full blown.

I've tried trigger points. Epidurals. No avail. They were talking about maybe a procedure to burn the nerve out. Temporarily. When we were forced to move. I was opposed to this because it scares me.

But it is sounding like a good idea now.

I haven't been to see my doctor in about 3 months. He said we would do things via phone until things work out with my situation.

Out of nowhere he decided that he was cutting off my refills for tramadol until I came in to see him. This is after his desk people played the we didn't get the request game. So I was stuck wih the leg pain all weekend. Then finally I get this info from them halfway through monday.

I had already been stuck with the now I am stuck with the horrible withdrawl symtpoms. Which I had to talk to a pharmacist about. Restless legs are terrible. The ***** are too, but they can be controlled.

I can't just up and run across state. I've found a few doctors that work with you on billing and I have an appointment to see one tomorrow, and just in case, one for Thursday with my original one.

Thing is...I'm terrified. I'm experiencing withdrawls...and I'm terrified of being addicted. Is there a difference between addiction and dependency? The pain can get to the point where it took me into the er earlier today. I was wanting to cut it off to stop it. They treated me like a human...and they understood. They said that he was unprofessional for doing that and not realizing the withdrawl symptoms.

Am I addicted. Dependent? Stupid or what? I am having so many mixxed feelings and with my bipolar, I'm not sure what is real and what's not with this. I think I'm on my down cycle.

Damn. Just damn.

Today is day 2 or 3...not much sleep over all. it's rough but I'm going to kick it in the genitals.

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by Insaneenough, May 05, 2011
NoraTorious:  Thank you for such an amazing and quick response!  Its these kind of small gestures that gets us all through! You are too kind. As for an interesting life and stories to tell: I've got plenty. Being bipolar and simply nutty to begin with...lets say getting run over by a truck at 60mph is the tip of the iceberg. I'm excited to tell them now; being under the influence of Tramadol for so many years has, sadly, poked huge holes in my memory. I am excited/trepidatious to see if some of the memories return.  Any one know this feeling?? Did your memory ever return?

As for my docs....I have a GP (the drug dealer) AND a psychiatrist (who sits upon his cloud high above Mt. Olympus as if he were Zeus, God of all Gods, who doles out the heavy stuff without a care to what i say or do. He has a strict policy of NEVER speaking to his patients via phone. Isn't that just great? A mental health care DOC who won't speak to his patients.
BUT HERE IS THE LATEST IN MY SAGA: (caution, outrage may ensue)

OMG! I went to see my GP yesterday. I laid all the facts on the table, was totally honest. I laid my heart out there about the addiction, my desperate need to get off of it, how cold-turkey didn't work etc.  He seemed sympathetic until I admitted that my prescription was GONE (early) and that I couldn't follow his directions for weaning off without more.  At that moment he turned on me. He basically THREW me out of his office; he called me a drug-seeking addict who was there trying to twist his arm for more!! As tears streamed down my face and I begged: "But what do I do now?? I'm scared I may seriously damage myself by going cold-turkey with no guidance!!!" He said, "Call N-A." and left the room.  I paid my bill at the desk with swallowed tears filling my throat, the lump felt like I swallowed a cantaloupe.

I WAS DEVASTATED.  Kindly old Doc also implied,(I love this one) "...well, your addiction is mental, you can get addicted to anything.  You are addicted to Effexor aren't you?..." (no duh) So...does that mean I have a multi-vitamin addiction? WOW. Never knew I could get addicted to Advil.  Excuse me, what a crock of sh*t.

That's all I have time for now...stay tuned for more of "As The Stomach Churns", (coming soon!).


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by rt35630, May 05, 2011
Insane - you are not the first to report being so ill-treated by their physician, nor will you be the last.

I got my trams online or on the street. At some point the online "pharmacy" quit taking VISA because Visa is trying to figure out whether tram is a controlled substance or not. At that point they offered me the option of paying COD.

I've been off them for a while now and much better except I do think the "effexor-like" component of the drug helped me. I've taken a couple of Lortabs at decently separated intervals and they did nothing to fix the depression.

I need to talk to my physician about all this but since I was never prescribed the drug I hate to go there and fess up.

However, I am so glad I am not being controlled by an addictive drug and overall I am a huge lot better emotionally than before when on the trams.

I think a lot of us self-medicate for our problems. I've tried psychiatry before and the drugs I got that way actually made me worse not better.

However, I am getting to the tram clean-time point that I think people may be right. A lot of this is just that the recovery takes a LONG time. Far more so than with a normal opiate.

All you new folks, welcome. I am in Alabama and while I haven't been devestated by the tornados, I have not had internet for quite a while. I will try to chime in if something in your posts makes me think I have good advice to share. The best for now is that the W/D and detox as bad as it is goes by quicker than you think and is SO, SO worth it.


Avatar universal
by Tramadoc, May 05, 2011
Wow.  That doc sounds like a real tool.  I know because I used to be one.  I think my anger towards drug addicts was because I used to see in them what I didn't like about myself.  I've been an opiate addict since the early mid-1980s.  got sober in 2000 and had great recovery for a decade and then had surgery.  I knew pain control was going to be a real problem whenever I had to have a procedure done but I thought tramadol would help me avoid problems.  It just brought up a new set of them.

Detoxing from hydrocodone, oxycodone or methadone was hell for me in the past.  An overwhelming obsession that I couldnt handle.  Tapering off tram does not have that.  I personally think this detox is much easier as I don't think about tram when I'm hurting nor am I tempted to take any to relieve symptamatology.  I think the buzz from tram is worthless compared with the high I had with true opioids.

Sure the detox isn't fun but it's doable.  Especially with help from you guys.  Being a traditionally-trained MD I never would have considered Vit B, GABA, Valerian Root, 5 htp and St Johns wort.  they are so effective and I'm glad all of you are so wise.

I may be in denial but I'm not sure I will abstain from tramadol as I do with ETOH, opiates and other mind-altering chemicals.  Tramadol has the anorexic factor that has really helped me and I hate to give that up.  I may be singing a different tune at the end of the taper while I pace the floors at 3 am doubling over from cramps but so far I seem to be doing OK.

Does anyone out there think occasional use for weight control a delusion?  If so, it's not the first time I have had insanity run my life.  I'm am just so grateful all of you are here for me.

Avatar universal
by EffinTrams, May 05, 2011
Hey Everyone!!! Day 42 off trams... Read briefly through all the posts... Noticed a lot of the depression comments...

SO TRUE... I'm on almost 6 weeks and the depression sneaks up on you... The stomach problems are the worst for me though... just HORRIBLE either D or C or just gas and pains. *****

I've been out trying to live my life, haven't been on a lot... Definitely wanted to see how everyone was! I remember DAY ONE and now it's day 42! All newbies you can do it!!! Those evil little footballs cause you to become a walking ZOMBIE... no emotion... no love... no laughter... isolation.... NOT WORTH IT! xoxo

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by ullr, May 07, 2011
It's day 60 for me today!
(Writing in translation program again so bare over with some strange sentences.)

Looking back at my old posts, I cannot quite believe that I have come so far. When I quitted, I thought that it would take me a couples of weeks to get back in full swing. I knew little about how long it would actually take. This forum has helped me a lot. Unbelievable really, that around the world, people are struggling with exactly the same strange things that myself.
I have now started working almost normally again. Thats good.

Went to a seminar a few days ago. My biggest problem now is social anxiety. Talking to strangers, I have nothing to say other than making excuses that I'm not completely with because I've quitted abusing  tramadol ...
Day 2 of the seminar I was sitting in my hotel room, did not dare go down and meet people.
Could hardly sleep at night either.

I am doing better with my wife and family, by the way! We have started to plan again.  

My intake has been extreme for many years. I spent between 1000-2500 mg of tramadol every day for about 4 years. Before that I used most of what t I could get illegally. Before that tramadol, Vicodin, Tegretol, morphine.
In the beginning  tramadol helped me  to stop illegal drugs, but as I developed tolerance, side effects were greater than the impact.

I can never take pain medications (opiates) again. I have an injury to the elbow which I now receive palliative therapy against. That’s the way to go.
It is not certain that I had come to that conclusion if it were not for this forum?

To those who are early in the process: My advice: Talk to your doctor about the problem. Do not be afraid to take anything to get to sleep. Benzodizapam, valium, anything.

I thought I could help myself with 100 25mg codeine tablets. It was not enough. The first 14 days were hell for me. No help from the codeine. The only thing I remember clearly from that time is an imaginary picture that I put two guns in my mouth. I cried and cried. Yelled at my wife when I was home visiting (I moved out the first few weeks), yelled at the kids. Look what you make me do… : (
Took some St. Johannes worth, but I got migraine from time to time, and my medicine react with it and give me serotonin syndrome, so I had to stop.  

Now I have (almost) stopped taking anxiety medicine. I am sometimes taking a sleeping tablet. But sleep is for me no longer a big problem. Do not think I have any RLS. I am sleeping most of the night.

I am not that good at commenting on other's progress, unfortunately.
Only thing I can say is that it gets better. But it takes time. Take lots of long hot baths or showers, force yourself to go for walks, try to break up the day. Listen to music, read some poetry.
Don’t loose your goal!

Avatar universal
by Tramadoc, May 07, 2011
Last night I coulnt take it anymore and doubled my evening dose.  I guess I felt a little guilty but I'm back on the taper this morning.  I think ullr's advice to take a walk is a good one; so I'm heading out.  

Two of my children are coming home today to celebrate their mothers day with my wife.  I sure do enjoy seeing them but my attitude is such that I won't be the greatest dad.  The depression, leg pains and worry that goes with any opiate detox, I would like to minimize while they are here. So I'm going to maintain my present level until Monday and start the ween again.

With this sense of impending doom it has been difficult to look at my family and not worry we're heading to financial ruin.  I know that is ridiculous but the knowledge does not change the feeling.  My mind is much clearer and most of my memory has returned but I just feel like a failure.  At my work I feel like I'm running the company into the ground.  With three kids in college I obsess on costs - somethin I didn't do on Tram.  Well, if thats the worst part I'm pretty blessed.  

Congratulations to all who have maintained their clean time.  I think I have a 50-50 chance of getting there.

Bless all of you for your honesty, integrity and love.

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by Insaneenough, May 09, 2011
This is for Ryan2039 AND Fullstop AND Tramdoc:

Disclaimer: Because I have been the coordinator of a Bipolar Support group for a few years, I have no problem telling it strait:

QUICKLY: I feel for every one of you. Each of you are in the fight of your lives. But I know one thing now: Tram is not helping ANYTHING.  The only thing it helps us do is pretend the reality of our lives isn't really that bad. But what it really does is give us an excellent excuse to let the bad get worse.  If you are broke, you are broke - Tram won't change that! Bipolar? Tram will only make it worse, you are still Bipolar when its gone. My own life is a disaster: but as I've come off the the drug: I have found that the worst isn't nearly as bad when I hear birds singing, feel my son's kisses in a way I;d forgotten and that EVERYTHING is better when food tastes so good after so many years of no appettie. We cannot change what we can't acknowledge. PLEASE HANG IN THERE!

FIRST: Tramdoc: I know you are under tremendous stress but you know using Tram as an appetite suppressant is a terrible idea. The more you exercise the less you'll need the drug, the faster you'll detox and the better you will feel. Please don't sacrifice your sanity for the easy fix. (I know, I loved losing 20lbs too. But now I'd rather be fat and sober). You can do it!!  You have a 100% chance of getting sober. IF not this time, next time. Just never quit. We're here when you need us!

TO RYAN2039: You have a kindrid spirit in me. As you may have already read: I suffer from bipolar disorder as well.  It is a disease I would wish on NO ONE. It is a devastating diagnosis and I think it makes detoxing from Tramadol even worse. Any time you wanna talk...I'll try to respond asap.  Regarding the IBS: though officially now considered a "true" medical syndrome is absolutely, without a doubt an emotional issue. I realize I may get some serious slack for this comment, but it is my belief.  Before there were all these drug advertisements for it, it was cured with diet/exercise and therapy.  Odds are: the Tram has smoothed out or dulled whatever emotions may have caused the issue.  In the long run...Tram WILL make it worse.  I have suffered with it for years myself; I know it *****.  In Chinese and Indian Medicine: constipation is attributed to the body/mind holding on to negative beliefs/ behaviors that we refuse to let go of. The opposite: going too much is the evacuation of too much: too much stress, pain, what have you.  Of course opiates (and I include Tram in that category) slow down the system and may even it out.  But the slowing down of the system means you are walking around with a ton of toxins that your body desperately needs to get rid of. Remember: the body and the mind are the same.  What your bowel experiences is what your mind experiences.  The drugs are NOT helping, they are simply dulling whatever it is was behind the symptoms in the first place.  I urge you not to use IBS as an excuse to stay addicted.  BTW: The ONLY known cure for IBS is regular exercise. After that, a balanced diet - something I will bet is not happening because Tramadol is famous for putting the skids on that.  One thing many of us loved about Tram is that it puts the skids on ANY diet all together.  Are you eating too many carbs and sugar?  I sure did / am.  After 8 years it was the only food that sounded appetizing at all. IF there is a recipe for acquiring IBS, it's an all carb diet!  I certainly thank Tram for that!


Which leads me to Fullstop's question:  YES! There is a difference between dependance and addiction. Because of the Bipolar I take several meds everyday.  All of which my body is dependent upon. My body would go into shock if I stopped taking them without careful withdrawal.  However, do I wake up in the morning thinking "Where is that Effexor, I can't wait to take it!" No. Do you ever think that way about Tramadol?

I suspect that just joining this forum in the first place is your answer.  Yes, you may be dependent, but you are also an addict. Especially with your extensive family disposition to addiction. The genetic component is very strong. You know why you have come here. But there is NO shame on this site.  NO ONE I believe, asks to be where we all are. No One sets out to be an addict.  We set out to relieve the unbearable pain within- whether emotional, physical or both.  Tramadol is a poison that was marketed as a miracle. Just being here asking questions is prooof that YOU don't have to carry on the family legacy.  IF you are still in detox, please keep going.  You are half-way there. You can do it.  I'm hardly an expert: I am still tapering.  But in 1 1/2 weeks I have gone from 20 pills a day to 3!!!!  If anyone had suggested that was possible I would have laughed and then run to my stash and taken 10 more just push that terrifying thought out of my head.

I too had to stop the tram because my docs simply cut me off.  But i was sick of running the game, always looking for more.  There are better drugs for taking care of your symptoms, ones that won't eat your past and destroy your future. You can find a better way.  

I admire you all for your courage!  Keep up the good work.

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by Alchevy, May 09, 2011
New to this forum. Been monitoring it for a while but to embarrased to sign in and post. Have been on tram 8 years for cronic back pain and only took 1 to 2  50mg per day. Was also on Lexapro 20mg and Valium 5mg 1 per day. Went to 1 per day on tram for week then went CT February 17 and did not have to much of a problem with detox then. On day 43 all symptons stopped and I felt normal for three weeks. Was so happy. I then went CT on lexapro.(Stupid thing to do) Had no symptoms until week three. Then the following symptoms started having sick feelings crawling skin hollowness in my chest. racing pounding heart. Had to go to GP got not much help. Was going to ER but GP said go to this Behavioral Medicine clinic as ER will not know how to treat you. Dr. put me back on lexapro. Three weeks later no better he said not the lexapro. Could not take it anymore went to GP and talked her into putting me on another 5mg valium in the morning as I take a 5mg at night to relax to sleep with 1/2 tab Ambien and it stops my feelings for most of the night so I can sleep.Now can tolarate the feelings mostly. Anybody else had these experences after 80 days tram free. The symptoms do not come and go they are almost constant. Tylenole helped but not much. Going crazy here.

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by rt35630, May 10, 2011
to alchevy: You were on a very low dose of tramadol. 1 or 2 50mg pills is "normal" use. I took 15 or more regularly. However, tramadol has an anti-depressant similar to effexor built into the pill. Part of your problem may be the fact that you stopped both anti-depressants altogether. What you are writing about is very different from what most of us tramadol abbusers experience. Good luck.

Avatar universal
by wantoffthis, May 10, 2011
I cant believe I found this! Thank goodness. I have been taking this for about 1 yr and want off. Im down to one and a half in the morning and one at night. But now Im reading even going off that will get me sick. Is there a way to do this without being sick?

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by Alchevy, May 11, 2011
Thanks rt35630 that is why I took so long to post. Just wondering if tram affects people after 80 days with withdrawal like symptons.

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by Insaneenough, May 11, 2011
One thing I know is that some people get addicted (and/or physically dependent) to Tramadol (even in small doses taken only for short durations) and some people take it for longer and at higher doses and DON'T.  My ex had no problem stopping after several years. It did not affect him mentally. He tapered briefly and never went back, he didn't crave the drug and it, apparently, the drug didn't crave him!

I wish I could predict your possible withdrawal experiences, Alchevy, but it's impossible.  One thing I do know, the withdrawal is nothing like staying on the drug. You can do it!!  Don't be afraid to try, you are not alone; you have friends right here!

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by Alchevy, May 11, 2011
Thanks Insaneenough I was on it for 8 to 10 years but only at 1 to 2 pills a day. I think by reading it may have put me in clinical depression but I don't know what these feelings are caused from but I wish they would stop. Seems like I have been through so little compaired to everyone else here. I really feel for everyone posting here. I could not have done what others are doing. They are the real troopers, I am just the wimp. I see my behavioral medicine dr. next week. Maby he can come up with something.

Avatar universal
by Tramadoc, May 11, 2011
Insaneenough - Thanks for the encouragement on getting off T!  I'm taking half as much as I was without too much problem.  I'm going to continue to taper but am not going to rush it.  I still maintain that getting off this stuff is so much easier than hydrocodone.  I could never taper that.  Number of pills continued to go up until I went into detox.  As I've mentioned before, the high with T is a very poor high.  Plus higher doses cause a myriad of symptoms that are most unpleasant.  Never had that on any of the other opiates.

I continue to read all the posts and heartily welcome Alchevy and wantoffthis.  Because I'm not sure about getting off the med, I'm not a good post to read.  I guess I'm in denial but with the highs being so incongruent, I'm still not convinced.  I plan to taper to none and increase my exercise but being fat and sober as I was 9 months ago is not as acceptable to me as it is to insaneenough.

A big problem for me is the fact that I can no longer take NSAIDs.  My creatinine went up too high and I don't want to get dialysis.  So there is only Tylenol left which is often not enough.

This site is one of the greatest motivational tools I've seen in recovery.  I wish I had it eleven years ago when my addiction was so horrible.  I'm very grateful for all of you.

Avatar universal
by LeaAnn807, May 11, 2011
Tramadoc, I agree with you completely about the poor high of tramadol.  I would call it a "more sneaky" high.  You don't realize how good you feel on it until you don't have ANY in your system.  You're doing great.  It may get harder before easier though!  I admire your discipline.  My "next script" was always going to be the one I used to taper.  I have been addicted to true opiates for years, and tramadol is honestly nothing like them to me.  The high, the detox....all of it is different.  I wanna warn you that tramadol tapering, the lower you get, may start to feel like CT, but don't give up!  After detoxing in treatment facilities from all kinds of benzos, opiates, cocaine..I think that's it, I can tell ya that tramadol had the worst depression and psychological junk to me.  I was SO tired coming off of it.  I had zero energy.  Like I was walking in quick sand.  When I got off opiates...........I had TOO MUCH energy.  I was all over the place, looking for stuff to do.'s just so different.  

The question about continuing to take it for appetite control and weight loss kind of hit me this way......would you tell a crack addict that they could use cocaine occasionally for some energy when they were tired?? LOL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  You can't do that! Ok?  Got it?  DON'T!!!!!!!!!! : )

Good luck everybody!  I've been clean since last March, and it takes a while but does get better!  

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by MyFreedom, May 11, 2011
Hi all - Been busy in my world lately so I haven't been around much recently. Welcome to the newcomers. I hope you find some peace and understanding here.

wantoffthis - I know it's not the answer you'd like, but no....there's not really a way to avoid being sick in some form or another. There are, however, things you can do to help you along the way....vitamins, hot baths, etc. You just have to find the right combo of things that works for you. As much as all of us would like to have gotten off tram pain-free, you can't underestimate the empowerment you get by going through some of the rough times. There's something to be said for fighting your way through it....If it were easy, we'd all be too tempted to return to the beast.

tramadoc - I agree with tramahater. Once you get off this stuff you can't go back just for the weight/app control. You have to cut loose for good. Also, I've gone through both opiate withdrawal (vicodin) and tramadol.... I would TOTALLY go through true opiate withdrawal ANYTIME compared to the hell and mindgames of tram withdrawal. I actually think some of the others that have done both would agree with me here. Tram is nasty in the way that it really screws with your chemical balance with it's effexor-like component. True opiates don't have that so they don't mess up your brain chemistry near as much as tram can long term. Stick to your taper and commit to it. I tapered for several months before stopping with very little acute withdrawal once I stopped. You can do....You just have to WANT it. You need to convince yourself that there is life after tramadol.

Insaneenough - I was on tram for 8 years. I totally went full circle with this crap. At first, I loved it. No way in this world would anyone take this awesome stuff away from me. It was great for a while....lots of energy....I liked who I was when I was on it....lost 20-ish was good. Then I kept having to increase dose and it eventually turned on me. I tried once to quit cold turkey and failed miserably and started taking it again just to avoid how stopping made me feel. Fast forward a few years and I had become basically a shell of myself. A slave to this drug that I had come to NEED, but also fear at the same time. Eventually I came to the point were I was mentally DONE with it. I wanted nothing more to do with it. I wanted desperately to stop, but I was afraid still. I talked to my doctor (a new one, not the moron who kept feeding it to me for 8 years) and she "got" it. She understood. Granted she is far from extremely knowledgeable about this nasty drug, but she was very understanding and really wanted to help me. She helped me come up with my taper plan and along with my husband she kept me accountable for my taper. The entire last year that I took it, I HATED IT. I couldn't wait to be done. I had turned a corner. I was no longer afraid of it. I was pissed at it.....pissed at all that it had done to me. I held onto that hatred throughout my taper and it truly helped. It was motivating. I am now approaching 14 months clean and couldn't feel better. Unlike years ago, I don't crave it, I don't want it. I want nothing to do with tram ever again. I think my trip with tram took me full circle with both addiction and dependency. At first it was addiction then it was both dependency and addiction....then finally it was just dependency.

Hang in there everyone. I promise it gets better. You just have to allow your mind and your body the time it needs to get better. It can't be rushed, but it will come with time.


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by NoraTorious, May 11, 2011
Thank you my freedom. I am over 120 days and still weak as a kitten. I am trying to wean off some of my sleeping meds to see if that might help.

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by MyFreedom, May 12, 2011
Congrats on passing the 4 month mark, Nora! That is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. It wasn't until around 4-5 months that I really turned the biggest corner and felt like I would make it and finally be normal again. For some it's sooner, some longer. Maybe you'll see a similar result very soon. Any luck with your husband's job search?

Avatar universal
by wantoffthis, May 12, 2011
I love to hear everyone's story. I picked up a new script today only with the intentions to taper. I said to the pharmacists " I hear that getting off tramadol is hard and it makes you sick and that I should taper. Do you have any advice for me?" his response was " this is a non habit forming drug and there is no side affects with getting off ." What the hell????? I'm back to two every 12 hours instead of 1 1/2 every 12 hours because I could barely function. I can't even believe how little of an amount can affect you. It's crazy.Reading everyone's posts I realized I was weaning too fast( about every two days going down by 50mg a dose ). How in the world could doctors and pharmacist not know about this?????? I plan to cut out a 1/4 dose every week to have minimal w/ds so my success will maintain. I don't intend to to fail. I don't do drugs but this is the worse drug I've ever seen. And the crappy thing about it is most doctors haven't a clue and look at you as if you're making it up. So glad I found this sight. You guys do have a clue and can help each other get off this safely. I tried to stop CT and got so sick. Then learned how to taper better. I will get off this crap. I'm so tired of being chained to it. Cant wait till I have a blue box under my post!!!

Avatar universal
by Tramadoc, May 12, 2011
Many thanks to MyFreedom and Tramahater for the helpful correspondence.  I seem to be the only one here that continues to believe that this drug has valid uses.  Denial! I aint in no denial! Not? I just want to control pain and stay skinny - but that may be too much if all of you guys are telling the truth; and I have no doubt you are.  So, once again, just like years ago, I'm trying to maintain a position of insanity

Unlike a lot of you I don't get much energy on T.  Actually I get short of breath doing even the most rudimentary exercise.  One thing about lowering the dose that I like is not having the annoying side effects.  JerkIng movements, slurred speech, ataxia and no balance are very frustrating at higher doses.  

I'm not really sure that I was increasing my dosage as MyFreedom relates but the symptoms did seem to come on progressively lower doses.  That's what made me want to stop.  But now that I'm on a much lower dose and have no symptoms my resolve is waning.  

One thing I have learned is that if I stay active on this site you won't lose your commitment for me.  So, thank you, thank you and thank you.

Avatar universal
by Fullstop, May 12, 2011
I am sick and tired of this prescribed poison.

I look forward to each day that allows me to push it further out of my life. To borrow a phrase from Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest: "What a horrible night to have a curse" — When the sun goes down during gameplay.

I no longer have night terrors in the sort of evil *** Restless Arms, Legs, and even in my Back. I'm sure if there was a way...I'd have a Restless Anus...oh...wait...I already do on and off. PFT.

As the haze erases and fades, I fall more and more in good ways. Food tastes better. Sun looks brighter. Best of me, my sense of humor and wit has returned full force. I never realized it was subdued in the least. I noticed it the other day while texting a friend and I just started spouting off random inane ********. Feels good, man.

To be honest, I wouldn't have made it through the first week without my wife, inlaws, daughter and friends. Music is another thing that runs in my family. I'm a 2nd generation Drummer, my daughter is well on her way to becoming a 3rd. My brother and father are/were as well. I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and **** music. The latter can be attested to by my bassplayer on how fast I threw down the tracking to a song we wrote in studio.

I would just load up my Flashdrive, Jack it into my USB port in our car and I would cruise. It would get emotional at times. Not just because of the toxin flowing through my organics, but because that's how I am. I let it flow and ran with it.

I have a very specific way of playing. I believe in showman ship, and during our last little local tour, I lived it up, but kept it in check and easy for the most part in fear of my leg acting up. I've been labled a POWER hitter because I bring it. When I was down in my home studio jamming, I could feel the toxin flowing out of me with the sweat. The power filling me and I just really cut loose. I did **** that I didn't do for a long time. Stick spin's between snare hits. During a bridge where my bass player jams for a bit after the crescendo, I came out from behind the kit and really just slagged off with the guys. I danced around them. I even did the fret movements for him while he jammed. Got our small little "crowd" of friends into it.

I even dosi doed. :P

This pitiful pile of pills that he slung me like a pusher with a prescription pad that was stuck in my mind, heart and soul eroded away parts of me that I didn't even realize. Screw this "medication".

The nights vary, but I am at least sleeping. I really really suffered the day before from malaise, but multivitamins, potassium, and b-6 spanked it down to tolerable. I made myself walk around more and more and would feel better by the end of it. :)

Oh...and Gatorade is still my bestfriend. :P

Avatar universal
by mike1trim, May 13, 2011
Hello all
I have reading posts from about February 2011. (thank you this all helps!)

I also am trying to get off of this terrible stuff.
What would help me is to know how long people have taken the DamTram and how much.
I have been on it for about 4 months. started with about 3 a night - progressed to 11 a night.
I always used at night after work to relax and watch TV-surf on my ipad. I have been off two nights now. The first was a breeze. Last night not so good!

My question would be....After 4 months how long will I need to recover?

Once again, Thank you toll all!

Avatar universal
by Fullstop, May 15, 2011

I'm glad you're joining us on the side of sanity. I was on Tramadol for over a year and a half. I always followed the guidelines, and most nights I would undercut my dosage because I wouldn't need it. Sciatica is a very odd and tricky thing. Many things can cause it, so it was a learning process. Riding in the car would make it worse. Sitting in general unless in a recliner and propped up on my left cheek, would kick it into Overlord Mode.

My dosage was 2 50mg pills every six hours. Mostly it was only 3 times a day instead of four, but still, it has the same consequences.

As for how long it takes, it is up to the individuals physical make up.

After my personal experience, I can honestly say that two weeks as of yesterday (Saturday) I'm still not over it. I'm getting better. Each day, stronger. Mentally, it's a nightmare. Sleep deprivation is evil and can lead to some bad things, especially since this works as an antidepressant on some level. It raped my mind. My doctor just threw it at me because it was a non-narcotic, but didn't look into it any deeper. It has made me question what's real and what's not. Being Bi-Polar is a nightmare anyhow, but this? I don't see how doctors who play the games with this medicine are not strung up in courts.

My suggestion is make friends with Gatorade and Water. Try and eat better if you can. Multivitamin to help out with rebalancing through your withdrawal symptoms. Potassium will help with your restlesslegs/arms etc a bit. B-6.

Melatonin is a good supplement to force sleep. Sometimes. Benedryl. Tylenol PM. Unisom. The sad things are that you WILL go without sleep at one point due to withdrawal. You will beg, plead and make bargains to anyone and anything for just 5 minutes of sleep. It will come eventually. When you're too exhausted to function you will pass out.

Do NOT take a **** ton of any sleep aids. It can be dangerous. Follow all the guidelines and suggestions. No sleep is better than not waking up. Watch yourself if you're taking Tylenol PM.

Your pain will be amplified as will your angst. All of this will drive you back into the arms of this Toxin. You cannot do this alone. Friends. Family. Us on here. We will be your support. You need help to do this. I couldn't do this without reading other peoples experiences and ideas and what works for them. I could not do this without my wife, inlaws and 7 year old daughter.

You cannot do this without yourself. You have to want it. You have to be willing to go through hell, kick demons in the groin, drag your broken, beat and scarred *** up the mountain on the otherside. You WILL survive. It WILL get better.

You WILL win.

It plays an evil mental game, my friend.

Look up the Thomas Recipe. It can help. It has helped me. Anything to get an edge against this demon.

L-Tyrosine. Read up on it. Get it. And be ready. At one point you will know you're coming out of the worst of it when you feel like something that a maggot wouldn't touch. This will help with that. It has helped me feel normalish when I much needed it.

You have to be careful and not trade one addiction for another if you're using something to taper, or counter some of the effects.

I had to goto my new doctor for my Restless Legs/Arms (and eventually back). They prescribed Requip, and it has helped a bit, but it takes a while to build up. Not what I needed. After the weekend I went and talked to them. I was more clear headed. I explained things a lot better. She prescribed Flexeril, which is a give/take with me because for some reason it can cause me to BECOME restless. I took a gamble and lived to tell the tale. It helps.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Coming on the other side, I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I am still drinking Gatorade. I am exercising more. Music is therapy.

Turn this negative into a positive and let it fuel you.  

Avatar universal
by mike1trim, May 15, 2011
last night was night four.
All in all..... things are much better this time around. I do think that the Thomas detox is helping very much.
I'm trying to go at it one day at a time. I am also using 5-htp
I'm feeling well.

I'm a little nervous because I have read that some people have issues for months.
So does it comes and goes? or everybody must react differently is what I am thinking.

I hope all have a great day!


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by NoraTorious, May 15, 2011
Mike1-the recovery from Tramadol is non-linear. In really simple terms, you will have good hours, days and weeks, eventually. Every now and then you will be thrown back, but never like the first 5 days. I am at over 120 days and I still have tough times. One bad thing for me, is the shakes. As an artist, shaky hands are not so good. My pieces are small and detailed, so I need a steady hands. It has gotten better over the last couple of weeks. Even though I am so far along, I think my body is slow to recover. I have gotten pretty squishy over the last 5 years, after 2 surgeries and chronic pain, I have not been as active as I was before. I know that is holding me back from recovering quicker. I am beginning to walk, but I am far behind some of you. It will probably take me longer than others, and since I have come this far, I figure I can make it a bit farther.

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by Insaneenough, May 16, 2011
Hello again!

I have been doing a lot of commenting on others' posts, as I am want to do, but tonight I REALLY need someone to hear me! PLEASE help me with this question of my own:

I have been tapering for just under a month. For those whose haven't read my previous posts: I have gone from 20+ a day! to FOUR per day! Yea!!!. It wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. Did it suck? OH YEA! But... because my prescribing doctor was such an a**hole (read back for more on that one) - my teary eyed confession of addiction got me thrown out of his office (just as I needed more Tram to taper with). His best words of advice were to wait until my next refill was due (I still had FIVE on the bottle) to taper myself off. So I went cold turkey for four days, lived only in the hopes I might just die so it would stop...and then I scored 11 pills from my ex. So I had to taper from 20 to 4 then to 2 then to 1 barely a blink of an eye. As it turned out that was  NOT GONNA CUT IT!  By two pills a day, I had to go back to 4 daily - and that didnt last so long (duh).  So, today was the the day my refill was due to be filled.  I went to the pharmacy AFTER they said I could come on in and pick it up.  When I arrived....well, the perfect and kindly Judgmental Pharmacist informed me that NO WAY was I getting ANYTHING! Here is why (and the reason I'm writing):

Are you all aware that there is some new reporting system where ALL pharmacies can now see a history of your prescription pickups and when and WHERE they were filled as far back as the beginning of time?  I live in Kansas, perhaps it's only here but I doubt that.**"Despite what most think, Kansas is a really progressive state, (public policy wise) (P.S. PLEASE pardon that whole School Board Votes for Creationism in Schools thing...We voted them all out the very next term- so evolution has returned :D). Anyway...

According to said Pharmacist, because I have been filling my script too often and taking too much (even though the pharmacy was filling the damn thing EVERY month when requested) I can NO LONGER get my script until all the pills from my PAST refills add up to the 180 I was originally prescribed monthly.  Ok, does that make sense? Say I filled my script(s) - (had more than two going at two diff pharmacies (not using insurance) for a while- which was got me in trouble)  5 times in 4 months, I now must wait 35 more days before they will fill the very script THEY THEMSELVES filled for me exactly ONE month ago!!?! Did anyone else know refills are now based on a CUMULATIVE intake calculated over the year rather than month to month as it has always been!?  I have no more double scripts, have begged my useless doctor for help and am down to LESS than the prescribed dose listed on the bottle and STILL I am denied a refill. It was my own dumb doctor who told me to wait until TODAY to refill!

Well we all know what that pills to taper with.  The attitude over and over is: "SORRY! "It's not OUR fault you are a pathetic drug addict!" The caring Pharmacist AND KINDLY DOCTOR both told me to "try N/A".   What? is Narcotics Anonymous now a 13-Step Program?  13th step being drug prescriptions??

So here I am again. Out in the excruciating cold with that damn mocking turkey.  He's gobbling at me right now.  Actually, he's pecking at my lower legs as we speak (he seems to have a preference for pecking at them in the night).

I am so, so, so disheartened. I feel like a failure to my family, my lover and mostly to myself.
Why am I treated like such a degenerate when I was prescribed a drug that was supposed to be less damaging than Tylenol??  I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. ANOTHER HUGE THING: I am also bipolar, this combination is not only horrifying it could be deadly.  If you live with Bipolar Disorder, you know that every day you are only a step or two from the edge of the cliff.  It doesn't take much to encourage us to take the jump.  When pain is inside, and no one can see it, it's much easier to sidle up to the edge of the canyon and just dissapear.  If I were in a wheel chair, or connected to oxygen and bedridden, I wouldn't be treated like this. The visual creates care and understanding from friends.  Bipolar Disorder seems to encourage most people to step back and worse, sometimes push us closer to the edge, just to escape. For those of you who don't know: Bipolar has a 20% mortality rate (that's higher than smallpox). I cant imagine what Bipolar AND Tram addiction makes that number.

I am so heartbroken. I don't wan't this world right now. I'd rather feel nothing than fight the world to listen to a silent scream.  Many know this feeling. I'm not going to jump,  But if I sleep tonigh, I promise I'll dream about it.

Lost now.  Bipolar and Tramadol are a lethal concoction.  Oh, did I mention it was my very first PSYCHIATRIST that put me on Trama-hell?

What do I do now?  And another question: Has anyone joined the class-action lawsuit?

Thank you to you all, hope to hear from some of you soon.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 16, 2011
The pharmacy reporting act is probably why I wasn't able to fill the last four prescription requests I submitted for tramadol online. The first denial happened about two weeks ago when I was in Kansas, coincidentally. The online RX sites kept telling me my Mastercard had been denied, but my bank said that wasn't true. I had been intending to get off tramadol, again, anyway, and this kicking in of the pharmacy reporting act just made it unavoidable. I've been on tramadol for about 6 1/2 years. I first took it when it was sent to me erroneously by an online pharmacy which was supposed to be sending me diet pills. At first, the tramadol answered all my needs: it lifted my depression and helped me lose about 80 lbs. It also triggered hypomania and I went through thousands of dollars  buying cars, silver and furniture. It also killed my sex drive. My husband has been trying to get me to quit for years. Two weeks ago, when I couldn't refill my RX, I had 22 tramadol pills in my purse. I rationed them until now I have none. I've gone through tramadol withdrawal many times, and the symptoms are familiar. But the longest I've been able to stay off the stuff is about three weeks. This time I want to stay off it for good. An external bar, like the pharmacy act, will help. I have never gone face to face with an MD and asked for tramadol, and don't think I ever would. Doing it online was so easy and anonymous. I've been waiting for years for technology to shut down my all-too-readily-enabling suppliers. The online pharmacies have been greedily profiting from the addictions of thousands of dupes like myself.

I'm working on a book now, and both dread and look forward to being in a non-tramadol state of mind. Right now, hot baths, gummy vitamin C, Ibuprofen and melatonin are helping me get through the worst. TV and lots of bed rest help, too. "The Game of Thrones" and HGTV home improvement shows have been a God-send. Each to his own. It is going to be hell beating this, and realizing that I am not alone...which this forum has me another resource.  

I am bipolar too, by the way. Another reason the tramadol made me feel...better??

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 17, 2011
Today I feel heavy in my limbs and mentally flat, but I am not craving tramadol yet. I read through the archived messages here and realized the true horror of this drug for the first time. The characterizations of this drug I found in these posts has provided me with plenty of images that will flash before my mind IF I ever lift one of those lethal tablets toward my lips. Rat poison, old anti-depressant baked into a fake opioid...years lost to its influence, years spent hiding in darkened rooms afraid to associate with fellow human beings, years lost to comatose sleep, muscle jerkings, zombie states of mind, eBay buying binges when visions of a new life danced before my eyes but were never achieved because of the days spent in darkened rooms, the comatose sleeping, the zombie states of mind.

It all seems so simple. There are two choices, life or tramadol? Last year I spent months limping around with a sore foot. I thought then it was a physical problem. I think now it was tramadol. Since tapering off this crap, the pain has abated. I also developed a big vitreous detachment. After six years on this crap, what else has it done to my body?

In one of Emily's early posts, she said she was looking for success stories, people who got off this crap and went on to achieve something significant. I want to one one of those people, one of the camels who pass through the eye of the needle. Excuse my ambitions, please. I am not a cuddly, cariing person, except with those I know and love in person. I wish you all well out there, every single one of you who has posted here and told your stories. You are why I have this new kind of resolve.

I am working on my book. Since getting off the crap, I have actually felt bursts of excitement and inspiration about the writing. Pray God this will continue and I will get this book finished and out there. Tramadol will play a role, as the Devil is a secondary villain, and he finds ways to trip up the good, like an old bird catcher spreading lime on the branches of trees. God in heaven, help me escape the bird lime of the Evil One.

Hang in there, all. May goodness prevail. It is the fight of hundreds, thousands of us, but ultimately, each of us must confront the fight alone. The fact that some have already succeeded gives the rest of us the strength to persist.  

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by DamTram, May 18, 2011
Hi, friends.   I still haven't read anything, but wanted you to know I survived my 4 day relapse.  It's kind of even weird to call it a relapse because they were 200mg CR and I had only ever taken generic 50mgs.  During my "relapse", I took 1 in the morning and 1 at night.  I travel terribly (turn into a fibromonster), and it was important for me to not be deathly while I spent 10 hours with my new advisor and cohort at ucla, and the other days as a not loser my friend who made the trip with me.  I had no adverse reactions upon stopping, thank goodness, and still don't ever PLAN on accepting or taking any ever again.

Things are very bad for me right now, emotionally, as my hearing against my principal went terribly and then she told me she is suing me for defamation of character because I made TRUE statements about her in a note on my private profile to particular friends that I wanted to stand by me at my hearing.  Apparently I did not click 'notes' for 'friends of friends' and I was ratted out.

I don't know much about the law, but I maintain that she broke the hearts of my students and that she evaluated me as cumulatively 'unsatisfactory' AFTER I had already turned in my resignation.  Is it libel if it's TRUE?

Anyway, love and strength to you all.  Most importantly, I am a non-smoker and non-trammer and no one can take those from me.


Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 18, 2011
I am still off tramadol, but know I need to take that with a grain of salt. I tapered off from 8-12 50 mg tablets per day to none in about 2 1/2 weeks. The worst symptoms were when I tapered from 8-12 to 3 in one day. If you can, taper the tramadol before quitting cold turkey. It smooths the bad symptoms considerably, in my experience. Since Sunday, three days ago, I haven't felt a craving for tramadol. I do occasionally break into cold sweats, have head zottses, bouts of sneezing, and feel somewhat weak and droopy, but nothing unbearable. I have been eating like a horse, unfortunately. That is the one thing I miss about the tramadol, it cut my appetite. I'm hoping this is a temporary symptom indicating that my body is in transition and that it will recede as I continue to detox. My sleep has been affected somewhat, but I can get uninterrupted sleep for 5-6 hours at a time. I am enjoying the return to normal life: normal thoughts, normal feelings. The tramadol allowed me to stuff everything down, to create a barrier between me and everything and everyone around me. I didn't cry, but I didn't laugh, either, and I miss doing both.

I've found that a few glasses of wine can fill in where the synapses are craving a fix. It took me three glasses last night before I even felt the alcohol. That was all I needed. I didn't need it, really, but I was trying to distract myself.

So my message to everyone else starting this struggle is that it can be done and it won't kill you.

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by DamTram, May 18, 2011
Okay, the truth of my recovery (minus my los Angeles slip 2 wks ago):

I don't know what day I would've been at, but I stopped January 18.  12+28+31+30=101 day before a 4 day hiatus.  That ended May 3, so I say I have 116 days.  WHATEVER.

Lostintramnation (awesome handle, want to read your book) wanted to hear a success story.  I am READY to say I AM BETTER.  And you know what?  I hit the 'better' mark when I came back from LA.  I felt the turning point AFTER the relapse.

You guys.  I started exercising twice a day.  More if you count home-yoga.  I started with walking, and then I would see if I could run for a minute at a time.  Then the next day, two minutes, etc.  4 months ago I was dead and now I can RUN...shortly.  :)

For those of you who want a recent list of what helped me then and what I CONTINUE to take:
During acute: highland's leg cramps pm with quinine, GABA, Vitamin D 5000iu's (tram made you severely deficient), GATORADE, melatonin, valerian root, milk thistle (your liver is messed up, now), and L-tyrosine for energy bc b vits hurt my bladder.

Now: Vit D, GABA, n-acetyl-cystine ( to further repair the liver), valerian root at night or when panicky, and acai berry to help the damage to my metabolism.  Also, Immodium during ibs attacks (which I only have if I don't exercise for a day).

Okay, I have some things to say to our new, tapering friends.

Insaneenough: **** the pharm and your doc AND JUST GET OFF.  NOW.  If you have to fight to taper, then DONT FIGHT.  The universe wants you to start your recovery right now, and I know it hasn't been nice about it, but LISTEN and trust us.  Stay on you bp meds and load up on what's been suggested and get off, pleeeeeease!

Wantoffthis: GET WHAT YOU WANT and get off!  Yea, you're going to be sick.  Yes, you'll get EVERYTHING back!  Flush that ****!

Tramadoc: as a former physician, you know what you are doing to your organs and hormones.  You know that exercise and diet would keep you even skinnier, AND YOU WOULD ACTUALLY experience endorphins.  Get the frack off, get sick, and get better.  You call it denial, I call it fear.

Sorry if I've been harsh.  But the longer any of us puts this poison into our bodies, the quicker we die and the pharm agents grow.  Live.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 18, 2011
Thanks for the encouragement, DamTram! For the first time in over 6 years, I am determined to kick this monkey off my back. I was referred to this website by somebody, I don't remember where, who was posting about tramadol withdrawal, and I am extremely grateful to everyone who posts here, now and in the past. Knowing you aren't alone, that other people have the same cravings and symptoms of withdrawal, that other people have prevailed, is life-affirming.

I have a question that I've seen others ask, and I've wondered about it myself in my many years of addiction. Tramadol gave me a craving for Sour Skittles. My younger sister, also hooked on tramadol, developed an ongoing craving for some other kind of sweet and sour fruit flavored crappy commercial candy (she doesn't know I know this, and she may or may not know about my own addiction...what doesn't that say about the functionality of our family, and our secrets which are secrets to no one???? OK, another issue  to tackle once I am truly sober...) so I know tramadol does something to our metabolisms that turns us into tooth rotting, sugar craving insects like bees or ants.

Keep fighting the good fight, and keep posting. Don't be too hard on yourselves, we all slip up now and then.

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by ullr, May 19, 2011
Update from Norway.

The days go by, but much remains the same.
Heavy body. Sad inside.

I sleep mostly good (without sleeping pills), but is very tired in the morning. Still I get a few shivering’s, and get dizzy from time to time.
Have had diarrhea ever since I stopped. While I am bloated.
I've gone up some kilos since I quit.
Personally, I went up a few some kilos when I started with the tramadol as well,
but I used amphetamines for some years before I started with tramadol so that’s why ...

So to you who are new here: I'm so glad that DamTram said it so clearly. Just get off this ****.
Dont use the energy to be angry at doctors or pharmacists or pharmacies or visacard etc.
Be happy that you are not getting more tramadol!

Personally, I went from 2000-3000mg (yes, that's right), tramadol daily for four years, to zero within a few days. It was hell. And its still not easy. But I'm so glad I did!

I got help from my doctor, this forum, shooting bow, walks, hot baths, Oxazepam, and strong sleeping pills.
And vitamins an minarals etc.

Maybe it’s too early to call it a success, but I haven’t been thinking of taking tramadol once after I stopped.

I have a big gap inside me where it used to be, but I will never fill it with tramadol.

My advice is: Make yourself ready and take the fight. If you want it, you will win!!

Avatar universal
by TRAMMAN999, May 19, 2011
Just wrote in my journal :

I came off !  (cold turkey)   BUT  I am now back at 450/600.
I am so angry and disgusted with myself.
I didn't make a concious decision to take  -  very incidious  -  1 or 2 to rise to an occasion  -  and before you know it Tram has got you once again.

Tomorrow going cold tukey (again)  -  my mind and body are so weak with all this battering.
Got to do it.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 19, 2011
TRAMMAN999, I have a feeling almost everyone who posts here has tried many times to get off tramadol, and has fallen off the wagon not just once, buut many times. I know I have. We both hate and love the crap and go back and forth, like a very bad personal relationship. Don't beat yourself up. Build up your aversion to the crap. Think about it in the terms you've read in these posts: RAT POISON, BAD OLD ANTI-DEPRESSANT BAKED INTO A SYNTHETIC OPIOID. Heck, to drive in the aversion even further, imagine it as the product of Nazi scientists trying to create a race of brain-dead zombies. (It was in fact developed by a German pharmaceutical company: the personal motivations of the scientists who developed the stuff play no part in the drug information included with an RX.)  

Try to taper off rather than going CT. Cut down ALOT at first, then drop your dose and keep dropping it. No matter how far you taper, it is still going to hurt to quit all the way, but the symptoms won't be nearly so violent, and that makes it easier physically and mentally to get off entirely. I'm speaking from my own experience, and partly perhaps to convince myself that it is working. But so far, it is.

As for me, I feel better today. Slept about ten hours almost straight, no more tramadol nightmares or brain zottses...not yet, anyway. Recovering my muscular coordiination: can now lift one leg into my pants without teetering on the other one. Still some dizziness and heaviness in my limbs. But I do NOT want tramadol. Rat poison, bad old anti-depressant baked into a synthetic opioid, product of Nazu scientists trying to creat a race of brain-dead zombies...

Battle on, warriors.

1571878 tn?1354949783
by DamTram, May 21, 2011
Thanks to being on Valium for the disc pain/spasms and it actually helping me to sleep at night, the doctors won't prescribe anymore because I asked for a refill to continue with physical therapy with less pain than necessary, so they told me no.  It sounded like I "liked" it too much.  All of a sudden, if a drug actually works, you can't have it because that means you "like" it and are an addict?  My psych gave me lunesta to try, but I took the max of 3 pills and woke up with enough spasming that it looks like that's all the sleep I'll get tonight.

Cold-turkey benzo w/d....don't they even get it?  :'''(

Avatar universal
by TRAMMAN999, May 21, 2011
32 hours in  -  and counting. Didn't have to wait too long before symptoms started. I guess a lot worse to come. I know the 'no sleep' thing will be a big problem  -  just helps grind you down. At 11am tomorrow, that will be 2 days behind me !!
Feel rotten, rotten, all my regrets through life are being emailed to me from above.
Hope I don't sink any further. Just counting minutes.
Frozen to the bone just now  -  gotta go.
I will keep at it   -   but it is so tempting.

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by NoraTorious, May 21, 2011
Last week I had one day, one day of feeling completely normal. Had a good amount of energy and got some things done, made dinner, put away clothes, went through some of the junk accumulating around here. But I have been pretty spacey the last few days. I reckon part of it comes from all the meds I take at night. The trazadone, thirdozine, and vistaril. I can't see the Dr because we have no cash right now. Whatever cash we have has to go to rent, bills, and meds. My husband has still not got a job. The one that is a great fit for him is still up in there, so there is a possiblity he might get it. It is the waiting that is the toughest thing. He is too overqualified to get a job at a pizza place or food service, they just won't even try to hire him. I started my application process for the Police Dept Historical society, and my papers for disability. I hoped by now I would be much better, but I still have a lot of relapses. I guess everyone is different.

Avatar universal
by mike1trim, May 22, 2011
Quit Cold Turkey. 9days/8 Nights
I used the Thomas detox recipe and it works. I had no symptoms and felt great.

So I went on a two night Tram Train. I thought a couple of nights and stop for a week.
Today is day one after the two nights of Tram and my throat hurts and I cant stop sweating?
I cant believe it. its like I was never off?????

Avatar universal
by TRAMMAN999, May 23, 2011
3 hours into my 4th day.

I have suffered what seems to be an interminable length of time  -  of course I am clock watching to get through 4 or 5 days.

Unfortunately, it was just too much for me. It was calculated  -  I took 150mg of Tram to help my mind and body. Needless to say, now 2 hours later, my body is at rest and the world does seem like it is worth living in ! 2 hours ago I just didn’t want to know the world or anything  -  I didn’t want to be here ! Not that I had suicidal thoughts; I am too much of a coward ! I know life would be better without Tram.
So, what now !!?? (Answers please)      Yeh, I know I have to continue to continue i.e. withdrawing, that is. I have the thought that at least there is not as much Tram hanging around my brain after 3 days without.

I shall continue; who knows it “may” have made the ride easier !!?? We shall see !!?

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by NoraTorious, May 23, 2011
I am seriously thinking about going back. I am so out of it, no energy, no means to see a doctor. I feel like I have nothing. My husband is unemployed, and I am tired of not being able to do anything about anything. My
Biggest wish is for my husband to get hired.

1395853 tn?1280351513
by MyFreedom, May 23, 2011
Oh Nora!! Don't you dare!! That's the residual tram talking to you. Don't listen. Look at how far you've come. You don't want to give that up do you? I went through some crappy stuff for a while after stopping, too, that really tested me. Even with all that is not going your way, you still have the accomplishment of beating the tramadol beast. If you give in and go back now, tram wins.....tram wins you back. Don't let it.

Look at that number in your ticker! That's an accomplishment. Don't hand over that hard-earned number to tramadol.

I don't know if you are a spiritual person or not. Below are 3 verses that gave me a little strength along my way. Hopefully they can bring you some as well. Hang in there, Nora. Sending {{{{hugs}}}} your way.  :)

Psalms 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

1 Cor. 10:13
...God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 24, 2011
Feeling OK, about 8 days off tramadol. By that I mean 100% off tramadol. I tapered it down to about 1/4 of a 50 mg tablet. It helped the DT symptoms to taper. I have tried to get off tramadol many times, so I know the symptoms. So much so that the symptoms didn't even feel weird. Now I'm getting used to what it feels like to be normal. That is problematic, as part of the reason I was on the tramadol was because of the depression, anhedonia, and dysthymia. But I actually laughed yesterday, for the first time in months, and also felt enthusiasm about some writing I'm doing. Tramadol creates a barrier between your feelings and the world around you.

Reading about the US justice department crack-down on the internet pharmacies by coming done hard on Google for profiting from all the online ads they hosted over the past many years. So if you Google search tramadol now you will find far fewer of the shifty online drugstores out there ready, willing and able to fill your prescription. Also, it looks like Mastercard cracked down on the credit card links the shady offshore pharmacy sites were using to process orders. So now it is far more difficult to score an online RX for tramadol. Canny moves by the feds. I am glad it's been done at last. I was wondering how and when they were going to close down the internet drug trafficking.  I've been following the rumblings for a few years.

I am not yet 100% free of the effects of tramadol. My dreams are still a bit weird: I have repetitive dreams about connecting things up: connections that need to be made. It may be my neural synapses representing my situation symbolically.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 24, 2011
Some of you here have said music has helped you get through the hours as you undergo tramadol withdrawal.

For me, it's Neil Young. "The Needle and the Damage Done" is about heroin addiction, but how much does one addiction truly differ from another?

Not much.

It is all about tragic, debilitating, sad and useless


1676815 tn?1305147549
by Insaneenough, May 25, 2011
Wow. I think there is something going on in the Universe because everyone seems to be struggling a little extra these last few weeks. Even people I know who usually are totally "normal"...

Nora! Don't. Please. When I first came to this site it was YOUR Freedom Addiction Counter that made me think "Wow, look at HER, she must be really strong, and knows a lot about this." It inspired me.  That said, if you DID go back on it, I understand completely. One thing about relapse, you KNOW you can get clean again because you've done it before.

DamTram - Thank you for keeping it real and telling things like they are. Keep it up. Anytime you want to whip my butt, bring it on. Someone needs to keep me on track!

TRAMMAN999: Isn't it incredible how just a small amount of the "Tramapoisen" can turn you from dead-man-walking into an (apparently) functional human being in 2 hours!? It's such a relief after all those days of feeling like you swallowed rusty razor blades. 2 HOURS!!! I went cold turkey and after 4 days went back to a much smaller dose in order to taper because the w/d's were killing me. The relief, however, is countered by the horror of realizing just how powerful the crap is.

MY biggest issue now, is the medical system itself. Everyone on this site must know what I mean. See my past posts for details...Oh! This is a real killer: MY OWN PHYSICIAN - responsible for prescribing the Tram at the highest dosage allowable- sent me a letter telling saying: "We regret our practice can no longer accept you as a patient or treat you at our facilities..." This is because I confessed to addiction and begged for help and more tram to taper with. I was told "NO".
So The issue now is finding an affordable program or doctor willing to treat me for addiction AND BP Disorder. I keep calling and leaving messages and NO ONE calls back. It is so difficult to navigate the system that I don't see how a person in acute detox could manage it. The medically based psychiatric world is a living nightmare. If you aren't insane before you arrive, you will be by the time they turn you out. I have no credit left because of medical bills no insurance company would pay and the INSANE prices the drugs/Dr.'s charge. Case in point:  I went to pick up my Effexor script yesterday and was told my insurance was revoked as of March 31st (it shouldn't be) and that my 30-day script would cost over $500. Yep. It sure made paying $125 for self-medicating with Tramadol via an online pharmacy seem more reasonable. I know it's not, however, these are the thoughts one has. I'm so sick of it. If Canada wasn't such a cold place, I'd move. NOW.

I hear you Dam Tram. I go to see my psychiatrist to "confess" about the Tram and to "confess" that I am taking more Xanax than I am supposed to because of the w/d's symptoms of the tram. I'm sure he'll be kind and understanding as they all are. Not. Going Cold Turkey on Benzo's is dangerous. Be careful. It has the potential to cause seizures and in rare cases death.

Seriously, Hang in there gang - were in this together.

Avatar universal
by kaz47, May 25, 2011
Hi everyone new and old, glad to see so many new people finding their way to this forum and receiving the compassion and support they need to win their own battle with Tramadol. My husband is now 135 days free from Tramadol - he still gets occasional insomnia and RLS and the odd day when he feels really low but all in all life is pretty good. MADTRAM or SHELIZ or any other earlier posters  - my husband has for the past month been suffering from  acid ingestion - mainly at night - not every night but often enough to be a nuisance and for him to notice - can you recall whether  this is one of the longer term symptoms - he never suffered from it before or whilst he was taking Tramadol and I know that others have queried digestive and liver issues months after taking the drug - would appreciate your thoughts on this.

NORA - we are old friends now - I know that you have been rained on since stopping this medication and that you are daily dealing with challenges that are enough to make you give up - BU PLEASE DONT EVEN THINK OF TAKING TRAMADOL AGAIN - read back over your earleier posts and remind yourself how awful it was and you will stay strong. You and your husband are good people and things will get better -  never fast enough for our liking - but you will turn the corner eventually.

ULLR - our friend in beautiful Norway - glad to see you hanging in there - summer is just around the corner in Norway - sun will soon be shining for 20 hours at a time - get out there and enjoy it!

Damtram - glad to see you still here and still positive

I am not surprised that a pharmacist told a recent poster that 'this drug is not habit forming blah, blah, blah' seems to be a standard response - however, lets be honest, the only people who understand the damage that this drug can do are those who have either gone through withdrawal or their families and friends who have witnessed withdrawal. It would be nice to write a fairy tale about how easy it is to come off this stuff but I am into honesty - soooo those who are in the early stages remember
1. Withdrawal is not linear - you will have up and down days - lots of them
2. Severety of symptoms varies - recovery is different for everyone - you may have some symptoms and the next poster will have different symptoms
3. Recovery takes TIME - often a long time - and a lot of patience and perseverance. You didn't get dependant on this drug overnight and it will take more than a few days to get free of it.
4. Withdrawal is inevitably selfish - but knowledge is helpful - share what you are likely to be going through with your family and friends so that they know what to expect and will be there to support you when you need it (and when you need your own space to deal with it which is equally important)

Some come to Tramadol for recreational purposes and get sucked in - many others, like Nora and my husband, are prescribed Tramadol for pain relief. Many only take the prescribed dosage. Many have never taken recreational drugs and have no desire to do so. They are ordinary people who just want a descent life for themselves and their families who are told that Tramadol will relieve their pain - and to be honest initially it does  - but tramadol is indescriminate - it doesn't matter how you get to take it, how much you take and how long you take it for - you will be fortunate indeed if you go through withdrawal without any adverse symptoms. It is still being freely prescribed in the UK - many in the medical profession seem oblivious to how dangerous this drug can be probably because they have no personal experience. they would do wel lto read this forum.

ONE THING EVERYONE ON HERE HAS IN COMMON - you are all survivors! It's not easy but anything worth having never is. You don't find answers to lifes problems in the bottom of any type of bottle - all you will get is an unfocussed and fake view of things. Freedom from Tramadol lets you get your life back - warts and all - my husband has said coming off Tramadol is like looking at a picture in colour after watching a film in black and white - everything is sharper, clearer and in focus. Most importantly you are back in control - ok you can't control everything going on around you ie if you had pain before you will still have pain after and will have to look for alternative ways to cope, but you will be able to control your responses to things that happen - instead of tramadol dictating how you respond. You get your life back.

Sooooo - have courage - keep reading - keep posting - take things one minute, hour and day at a time - congratulate yourself for coming this far and look forward to the morning when you wake up after a descent nights sleep and think to yourself 'i'm really glad I stopped taking those ******ing Tranmadol!'

Bon courage - love and respect as alwaysx

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 25, 2011
In reading these posts, it is obvious there is a split among tramadol addicts: some  were misled by their doctors about the addictive potential of the drug, and some who simply liked how it made them feel, and became willing addicts. There are victims and there are shameless abusers, according to some of the posters here. I think that here, at least, we need to set aside that way of thinking. We are all dealing with physical and mental addiction, cause by a very bad drug that is being sold by pharmacies and pharmaceutical companies which must be aware of its destructive qualities. Doctors need to be educated about this drug by the manufacturers, and doctors themselves need to be educated about addiction and how to treat it. We are in the dark ages when it comes to dealing with addiction, which is stigmatized and reacted to with superstitious horror, the way leprosy and smallpox were treated three hundred years ago. I have seen for myself how hard it is  for a doctor to deal with a patient's drug-seeking behavior, as have some of the rest of you. I am not the one who will be offering ground breaking new approaches to the treatment of addiction. But every addict, unwitting or willing, is dealing with similar issues. The moral issues are something else again. Religious faith and psychiatry can address some of those issues. But here, we need to keep an open mind.

Avatar universal
by kaz47, May 25, 2011
Lostintramnation - everyone on here is a victim - as I said above - Tramdol is indescriminate and it doesn't matter how you originally get to take it, how much you take and how long you take it for - the chances are that when you withdraw you will still have to deal with the same type of symptoms irrespective of how you came by it. No-one (I repeat no-one)should have to go through what my husband went through and my heart goes out to EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU currently in the early stages - those who have read my earlier posts will know I truly mean what I say. At just 9 days off Tramadol you seem to be doing remarkably well and hopefully your recovery will continue at this pace and any withdrawal symptoms will pass quickly. I wish you the very best of luck and hope that you find evey day becomes easier for you. For many here it unfortuantely takes a lot longer to feel positive. In a lot of cases posters can barely function in the first couple of weeks - but - everyone is different.. That is why this forum is a godsend - it saved us - the experiences of those who have gone through tramadol withdrawal and recounted their numerous stories here are the greatest source of information and inspiration we have found since we started this journey back in January. Thankyou all for your honesty, kindness and love and thanks again to Emily for sharing her story in the first place and giving everyone else a lifeline!

Madtram and Sheliz - when you next log in could you get back to me re the query re: indigestion please  - we aalways value you words of wisdom! Hope you are both well and life is good. X

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by MyFreedom, May 25, 2011
Okay, I have to chime in here....I sincerely don't intend or want to **** anyone off, but a statement a few posts earlier has me annoyed. " ...if you DID go back on it, I understand completely. One thing about relapse, you KNOW you can get clean again because you've done it before". That statement is telling everyone that...hey, it's okay, go ahead and can just stop anytime you want, right?? Absolutely not. I think this is a terrible thing to say...whether it be to someone who is still fully on tram, in the midst of a taper or still struggling with being clean. Once you make that decision to stop, you have to maintain your desire and will to be free and not tell yourself that "it's okay, I can stop anytime I feel like it". Getting clean doesn't work that way and I find it offensive that that attitude is here in this journal.

lostintramnation - In response to your post... In my opinion, we are all in this together. I could claim either route from my standpoint. It was a moron doctor that continuously fed me tramadol for 8 years with zero concern, much less an understanding of what it is or what it does to a person. However, that said...*I* alone allowed it to go as far as it did. Fortunately, even though it took 8 years, I finally realized I'd had enough and stopped. If you were referring to kaz's post, I honestly believe that she meant that it doesn't matter HOW we got here (be it by idiot doctor or self-medicating) all that matters is that we want to be free from this mess.

kaz - Glad your husband is still doing well. At 14 months clean, I occasionally have acid reflux/indigestion. It comes and goes. It seems to happen mainly in the evenings for me, but an acid reflux tablet each evening for a few days always does the trick for me. Then it disappears for a while and returns again....wash, rinse, repeat.

Nora - How are you doing?? Please come talk to us and keep us informed. I have been thinking about you and hope that you and your husband are doing well.

Now I have a question for Madtram and Pat (if you are still lurking around here) or any other long-timers.... Any problems with tinnitus for you? A couple of months back my left ear just started ringing and hasn't stopped. It's continuous and rather annoying. I went to the doctor about it and she's kind of stumped. I had a full blood panel drawn today (it was time for one) and she is going to do an extensive thyroid panel to see if it may possibly come from there...Anxiously awaiting results because I've wanted a full thyroid panel for a while now. Just wondering if any long-timers have had ear-ringing come up?

Again - I don't really want to upset anyone, but the attitude towards relapsing has been a little slack around here and it frustrates me to see people giving in and letting tram win over and over....that's all.

Much love and strength to all.

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by NoraTorious, May 25, 2011
I am still here and Tram free. I don't want to go back because I could never withdraw again. But I do wish for something to numb my pain and worry. I look forward to my sleep medication because it puts me out. I should be looking forward to being awake, not asleep.

The only thinng I wish for is my husband getting employed at a job he loves. I think he would be happy just being employed. I am just so bitter about the whole thing. I know things could be much worse off, and I am trying trying to count my blessings.

I applied to school to finish my forensics program. I applied for financial aid, which I won't get until august, if I get any. I am really close to finishing it, and hopefully finding a job as a fingerprint reader. I already have an in at the Police Dept when I start my volunteering at the museum. It gets me back into dealing with everyday life. I had such agoraphobia and social anxiety when I was on the Tramadol.  Those symptoms are still there, but have lessened. I function pretty well, but every now and then I curl up and can't put myself together.

Job wise, it is REALLY tough out there. My husband is smart, decent, professional and educated. Even though he has had several interviews, nothing has panned out. It is very frustrating and demeaning to have friends and family help us.

I am having some pretty good days. Yesterday I cleaned the sink and kitchen as well as made dinner. But I am still having stiffness in my back, fatigue, and icy cold feet.

Just trying to stay positive.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 26, 2011
Tramadol doesn't make the pain of living go away. All the problems are still there, big and small, but when we're on tramadol, we are at a distance, unable to deal. We need all our faculties in order to think about what needs to be done.

This is my day 10 off the stuff. I'm still in transition, mentally and physically. So far, the most troublesome side effect is the uncontrolled appetite... and then there are the ennui, boredom, and generalized lack of interest. But I am simply waiting it out. The sun comes up and goes down, the heat rises, the cicadas screech, DSK moves into a $14.5 million penthouse in NYC to await trial for attempted rape, Mark Gaines of CNBC dies, Obama toasts the Queen of England, and the Rapture didn't happen, yet.

The microwave is signaling that my cup of tea is ready.

Maybe I'll tackle my writing today. Yesterday I got positive comments from classmates and the instructor, and that was a big relief and moral boost. Now, my thoughts are about how to proceed in finishing this story and moving forward to the next one.

Life is short, but its sweetness is returning and I love the taste.

Avatar universal
by muchforgiven, May 26, 2011
I have not been on for several months as I lost my resolve to get off these devil pills. Anyway, I think I,ve got it back and am presently tapering slowly. I am taking 1/2 of a 50mg. Every 4 hrs. This week and ten every 5 hrs. Next wk. Etc.
My question is, for someone who has done the slow taper, can you take the GABA,5htp, and valerian while I am still on tram or should I wait til I am totally off?
I have been following all your posts, you have kept me going!

Avatar universal
by muchforgiven, May 26, 2011
Er, that should be then not ten. Good grief, I am losing it.

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by rt35630, May 26, 2011
hey everyone...i haven't taken a tramadol since the day shown on my ticker, and i never will take another. staying clean though has been hard.

i have a situation at my job of 5 years where i am loved and admired. got a new boss 6 months ago and she seems to be jealous of my success and we are now at odds. i will probably have to resign from at least the church administrator post. hopefully keep the musician job.

my partner of two years and i have split up. i'm 49 and he is 28 and i just got fed up with jumping back-flips to keep him happy and he did not return the favor. he has his legitimate issues with me. we are still friends.

i've taken a valium or two here and there along the way to sleep, and recently i have taken a hydrocodone at odd intervals during the week to numb the crap. the opiate i really feel guilty about.

i've read many days back and i love and pray for all of you. keep me in your prayers too as i go through a major separation and possible job transition -Randy

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by rainallday, May 28, 2011
It seems like years ago looking back to January.....
   I havent been on much, and I lost my loving cat on mothers day of all days...She was 20 years 6 months 8 days old.
I'm STILL very depressed about it. However I havent taken any tramadol, nor have I smoked..I also quit soda......So I eat sparingly and drink gatorade or poweraid, I usually mix it from powder..The car is running well, only 18 mpg which is brutal for pizza delivery, but I'm working fulltime max hours allowed and slowly getting caught up financially...Been helping 3 litters of kittens 15 in all...and riding a cheap mountain bike to burn off steam and work towards physical health..I do it all while depressed, but won't relapse in any way. I HATE any addiction...Life is hard as heck, but I want to be able to figure out a path forward with a clear head...
     I hope all here are well and keep moving forward. I'll check back sooner hopefully rather than later!

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by MyFreedom, May 29, 2011
Oh rain.... I'm so sorry about your kitty!! We all know how much you loved her. :(  That must be so hard to deal with. We've been rather sad around my house, too. We've now lost our 3rd pet in a span 14 months. First it was our 16 year old cat in March of last year. Then in September our little girl ferret suddenly became very ill and we found out she had a big tumor in her we had to put her down. Within a week after that her mate was diagnosed with a condition that required twice daily meds for the remainder of his life. After 8+ month of meds, his little body was tired of fighting and we had to put him down just last week. His death was very tough to deal with. I know most people don't know much about ferrets and would wonder how we could be so attached to them, but he was the sweetest little thing ever. He followed me around the house, loved to go places with us and loved to climb up in the recliner with me and just sleep on my shoulder or lap for hours if I'd let him. It's amazing how much our pets mean to us and how they truly are part of our family.

You should be proud of yourself for doing so well. I can't seem to kick the soda habit. I can't seem to go more than a couple of days without! You'd think if I could kick the tram habit that I could stop the sodas, but I just can't seem to give them up. I needs to get my bike out of the garage and start using it again!

On a different note.... Got my bloodwork back and I'm apparently in an early stage of hypothyroidism. Yay me [insert sarcastic attitude here]. Actually, I had a pretty good idea that I had that going on. Doc started me on a med for it. Just started it Saturday morning. She said it might take a couple of weeks to notice any difference. Anyone have any experience with that?

Well....I'm off to bed. It's 2:30am for me.


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by madtram, May 30, 2011
Hi all, just a quick response to some of the questions.  I have been struggling with fatigue after tapering off the teeny weeny valium dose I took for sleep after my brother was killed & need to keep most of my energy spurts for chores.

My thoughts are with all who are struggling.  I hope something comes through for you all soon.  Nora, if the US is anything like here, forensics is an area where there is huge demand, all forensic grads at my uni have been guaranteed a job by the government.

MyFreedom & Rain, condolences & hugs on the loss of your beloved pets.  One of my 18 year old cats has started showing some signs of age & now has to have an indoor litter box & last week we had to comfort our best friends who needed to put down their 17 year old spaniel, so concern for aging pets is often in my mind.

MyFreedom, haven't had to deal with tinnitus myself but I do recall others mentioning it & certain meds, including tramadol can cause it.  You could download some mp3s of white noise or ocean waves as these can sometimes retrain the ear to stop noticing the noise.  Niacinamide, (not exactly the same as niacin but may be sold under the description of B3), can also help some & if neither of these help & you are really suffering, acamprosate (Campral) has been found to work in 85% of cases in a clinical trial.

I suspect that long term tram use can contribute to hypothyroidism which I also have, although my mother was also diagnosed around the same age as me.  I have been able to drop my dose down in the last 12 months so even though hypothyroid is generally a permanent condition, if tramadol has just slowed your metabolism in general, you may find that your thyroid health improves with time.

Kaz, it's great that you have stuck around to offer encouragement & hope to others & glad your husband has made good progress.  The digestion thing is unfortunately very common.  We have lots of serotonin & opiate receptors in our guts & they seem to take time to recover.  Can you get OTC proton pump inhibitors like Zantac in France?  You could also try a supplement called Prelief, (calcium glycerophosphate) when he has acidic foods or coffee, together with a digestive enzymes supplement which can help improve overall digestion & absorption.

Randy congrats on your resolve, especially in your circumstances of major life changes, I'm glad you are still friends with your ex, that takes great maturity.

Elliot, I am so disgusted when physicians have such a narrow minded approach to patient care.  One can only wish that they experience whatever is required for them to learn some humanity.

DamTram in my experience, Lunesta is nothing more than valium with a much shorter half life & as such was much worse to withdraw from.  I was prescribed Lunesta while still on the tram & while it's hard to separate the Lunesta withdrawals from the tram withdrawals, from reading the benzo withdrawal boards, it seems that my symptoms were classic benzo withdrawal.  Dr Ashton the benzo expert regards the Z drugs, including Lunesta, (zopiclone), as indistinguishable from benzos in their effects on the nervous system.  You may do much better as I am clearly extremely sensitive to benzos as I have been reminded by the very definite difficulties I am having recovering from short term low dose valium but if possible, I would try to find a doctor who will let you stick with the valium.

Keep those tickers ticking all.

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by ullr, May 30, 2011
Just a short lifesign!
I am doing better. Went for a weekend trip this weekend with some friends and had a good time.
Still work only 50% but thats ok, then I have time to take walks and do some exercising.

Hope you all do ok.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, May 31, 2011
I'm at Two Weeks off. My words to new readers here, people desperate to quit but who fear the side effects: Stay with it. It's hard at first, but you can do it. It's so much better to be off.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 03, 2011
Thought I was out of the woods, but then came down with what seems like a cold or flu around day 15 OFF tramadol. It made me realize the S*** is still leaving my system, and it is leaving like a spiteful demon from a horror movie. Anybody else see the Keanu Reeves movie where he played an exorcist? My memory is playing tricks...oh yeah, "Constantine". The Tramadol will only leave for good when you beat the crap out of him and stick a crucifix in his face.

Also, I still crave large quantities of protein and carbs, although this is letting up a bit. I think that's saying my metabolism has been seriously screwed up, too. I've gained weight, and can feel it especially in my arms and back. And at around 5 PM on some days I start getting shaky, the way you feel when you've had too much coffee on an empty stomach. It is relieved somewhat with a milk shake or candy bar, but that doesn't help with the weight gain. But still, I have not had a single second of craving for the S*** Rat Poison. Mainly because I have been reading through these posts and recognize that everything I'm going through is typical of Tramadol Withdrawal. It is not some kind of strange new illness or psychic pain, it is Tramadol W/D.

So I continue to wait it out. I take hot showers, drink Starbucks Double Shots, watch TV, surf the internet, and now and then, do some work. Which is all on the computer, and which is my lifeline to a new life and a new normalcy.

I cannot express how helpful this Journal has been. Being able to read the day to day experiences of other people who are withdrawing has made me feel like it is possible at last. After 6 1/2 years on the S***, which happens to be 10% of my life.

Peace be with you all.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 03, 2011
I can see it now, where I couldn't before. Some of my earliest posts are pretty nutty, and parts are downright loopy. My apologies to anyone I may have offended or put off. I think my sanity is coming back gradually. Knock on wood.  

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 06, 2011
Today is Day 21 OFF Tramadol. We went swimming in the ocean on Saturday for an hour, which felt amazing. But when I got out of the water, the weight of gravity was so heavy, just like in the Hans Christian Anderson story about the mermaid, my feet could hardly hold me up.  Being in that cool, green sea water had felt so good and liberating, I was like an amphibian returned to its native element. Then I sat down at an outside table to eat lunch...wild mushroom soup and a health nut salad...and I felt like Jabba the Hutt. One Yuengling draft and  I could hardly get my mermaid feet to move under me.

Then we went to Costco yesterday and I had a remission of the withdrawal symptoms. The same thing had happened two weeks earlier at Costco, but yesterday it wasn't nearly as severe. Then, I couldn't even walk up and down the aisles. The best I could do two weeks ago was buy three slices of pizza and park myself at a table in the food court, dizzy and exhausted. Yesterday I walked the aisles, THEN I sat down AND was able to resist the pizza. That is progress. This probably says something about my Costco aversion. I only go to please my spouse, who loves Costco. Someday, I'll look back at this and laugh...I may not be kind, but I will laugh...

Things are getting better. But the more I think about this drug and what it does to people, the madder I get. Wikipedia has updated its entry about tramadol to include new information about the addictive potential for the S*** and warnings about the severity of tramadol withdrawal.Wikipedia also cites the fact that the German pharmaceutical company that developed this S*** has kept silent about this despite the fact that there is now ample anecdotal as well as new research evidence about the addictive potential for the S*** and the ordeal it subjects patients to when they withdraw from it. No sense getting mad yet: I have to reserve all my strength for recovery. But I'm thinking about it nonetheless.

Anybody looking for encouragement, know that you are brave to undertake this journey and that it can be done once you realize what poison you've been putting into your body.

Peace be with you all.

Avatar universal
by kaz47, Jun 08, 2011
Hello everyone - thankyou Madtram and MyFreedom for the advice re indigestion - we have managed to get something at the French chemists that seems to have done the trick for my husband and the situation is loads better. Madtram hope you have more energy now - I am sure your brother is proud of you wherever he is in the universe and the fact that despite your own problems you still find time to come back here and give such practical advice and support

My husband is now 140 something days clear and is doing really well - all of you further back down the road to recovery need to hang in there  - the first few weeks are undoubtedly the worst but gradually things will start to improve and you will notice you are feeling better and better  - it does take time though, so don't expect instant recovery - this stuff messes up your system! Time, patience and more time is what you need.

Nora, Rainallday, Ullr and Randy - hope you are all ok and doing well - am thinking of you all and hoping things are going better for all of you. Lostintramnation - glad to see you are still coping - remember, as I said in an earlier post, the recovery is not linear and this medication sometimes has long lasting effects that seem to love hanging around and pop back up just when you think you have seen the last of them! You will have a lot of up and down days - but the ups will soon outnumber the downs so stick with it!

Love and respect as always to you all x

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by nomorepills727, Jun 08, 2011
Hello to all ! Just saw this and thought I would add my 2 cents!! I was on Ultram  for pain management for 4 bulging discs in my back and it made me feel so bad that after only 4 days I called and said I couldn't take it anymore!! I was depressed and lethargic and on top of all of that it did NOTHING for my pain!!! Anyone who is taking this really needs to be careful and pay attention to how you feel while on this med .

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 09, 2011
Yes, exactly. And you have  come to the right place if you want to learn all about tramadol/Ultram, what it is and  what it does to your body and mind. None of it is good in the long run.

I'm at day 24 off, and it does get better the longer you are off. Way better than being on, but it does take a lot longer for the withdrawal to happen than you might think, as many others have said here. You need an underlying commitment to quit cold turkey, and you can't waver or you might find yourself getting back on the stuff. And then the cycle will happen all over again.

One of the things I was noticing in my last months on tramadol is that I was in a very dark place mentally. All I could see was a long corridor ahead of me leading toward death. That is realistic on one level, that's where we're all heading, but it was not an attitude that encouraged hope or positive decision making. And it colored the way I saw everything. Others here have talked about being in a suicidal mood when on tramadol. It happens gradually. First the stuff makes you feel better, Then it takes over and creates a wall between you and all the good things in life.

I still feel bloated and very heavy in my limbs, and the dark mood is still lifting. But I feel my sanity returning gradually.

I'm off to a course at my old alma mater for ten days. I must teach myself to sit with a group of people again, listen and talk. Normal life off tramadol is beginning again.

Peace be with you all.

Avatar universal
by Fathorses, Jun 09, 2011
Hello all

I've been say reading your posts for quite some time and some of it sounds very familiar.

My boyfriend was given tramadol for tooth pain but discovered that it helped with his social anxiety and depression/ He asked the DR to give him more and said he would take two a day to help him get through the day. This went up to 4-6 pills a day and he eventually ran out.

He is in about week for with no tramadol but he's considereing buying it online. We argue a lot about it because I know that it will end in even more problems. He is just so depressed and angy because of what the tramadol has dome to his brain.

He says he doesnt buy it cos he doesnt want me to keave him but all our lives would be easier if we just let him take it. He thinks he can keep it under control!

Are there any words of wisdom I could give him.

Thanks and well done everyone for staying strong.

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by MyFreedom, Jun 09, 2011
Hi all ~ Wow....Sure is quiet around here! Hopefully no news is good news!

lost ~ You're doing so well. Continue to hang in there and know that each day gets you closer to your 'normal' self. I'm very happy for you!

kaz ~ Glad your husband is still doing so well and that he has the indigestion under control. He is at the point right now (140-ish days) that I was when I saw the biggest leap forward. It was around 4 and a half months that I felt the biggest change in terms of progress. I really, really knew at that time that all would be well and that I was done with tram. Kudos to him for doing well....and to you for sticking by his side through it all. My husband did / has done the same for me and I don't know where I would be without his support.

madtram ~ Thanks again for the tinnitus article. I've been tinkering a bit with a few supplements. No luck so far. I'm almost convinced that it's my TMJ. to fix that is the big issue. :P  

ullr ~ So happy that you are feeling better!!! 83 days is great progress. Continue the exercise and keep yourself busy!!

rain ~ How are you doing? I actually think of you often and I envy your ability to conquer so many demons....tram, sodas, smoking, etc. I was in your neck of the woods just last week. I had to take my father to the veterans hospital in Columbia for an appointment. What happened to our nice mild spring got ridiculously hot very quickly. I think it's supposed to be 96 here today. Have you been affected by any of the recent storms? We're totally sick of cleaning up the yard after each storm. It seems that half our neighborhood is having their roofs replaced because of all the wind and hail damage. Yuck.

rt ~ You've been on my mind as well. Is your job situation getting any better?

Nora ~ I hope you are continuing to move forward. Are you feeling better? Any news on your husbands job search?

fathorses ~ Funny name. Wow.... Show him this journal. Start at the beginning and find some stories to show him. Show him what it has done to us and how it affected us, our lives, our bodies, our minds. Let him know that tram is the devil in the form of a pill.....a pill that is very addictive (despite what any doctor says) and that it's dirty secret is that it contains an antidepressant. It may seem great right now, but it WILL turn on him and change who he is...and not for the better. It WILL turn him into someone that he doesn't want to be. He needs to rid himself of this demon NOW before he's too far in. The farther he goes with tram, the harder it will be to stop. As for buying it's been a few years since I had to do that and it was becoming difficult when I did it. He could get into some trouble doing that as they are beginning to crack down on it. He certainly doesn't want to go that route. No matter what he THINKS about tram.....HE won't control tram. Once invited in, tram controls US. Do whatever you can to prevent it and whatever you can to show him this is a bad idea.

I hope everyone is moving forward and keeping tram out of their lives. It's been so quiet lately. I guess everyone is keeping busy. We sure have busy here. We've decided to get a help fill the void that our lost pets have left....and because our son is relentlessly asking for one. We've decided on quite a BIG dog....a great pyrenees. We are hoping to have him (we want a male) by early August. The breeder we've chosen is local and the puppies are due to be born any day now. So, we're kind of excited about that! Since we are getting a dog, we need our yard fenced in. This past weekend we had to clear out a small natural area in the yard and take down a small tree and remove a bit of overgrown weeds/vines where the fence will pass through. In doing so, I've aggravated my old shoulder injury...which is what originally got me into the tram mess. Advil wasn't helping at all and my doctor gave me an Rx for a few lortabs. I got them a few days ago and have only taken 1 so far and don't really want to take many at all (hoping the shoulder issue fades away quickly). Anyway....I took 1 tab and it worked wonderfully....which tells me that my tolerance is back to that of a normal human being! Before (during tram use) a single pain pill (vicodin, lortab, whatever) wouldn't do a thing for me. Just the 1 lortab made me a bit loopy and very tired. The old addict in me was somewhat annoyed in that it didn't bring on that great feeling and burst of energy that it did at one point in my past...but that's a good thing. I'm happy about it! lol

Off to run some errands! Lots of love!

Avatar universal
by webil, Jun 10, 2011
Hi all, just to give my experience of prescribed Tramadol for 8yrs! Plus an antidepressant- Celexa. I was told by my Dr. (and I'm an RN), that it was ok to take it "if it's helping you, don't worry about it"  he would say. DO WORRY ABOUT BEING ON IT!. Tramadol/Ultram is meant for a very short period only but, if you take.... it you'll probably want to continue as I did for it covers up most all pain plus gives you a euphoria similar to narcotics. I finally had enough and wanted to be normal.
I weaned me from 6-8 50mg a day to 1/2 tab every other day to nothing. That was the only way i could tolerate not having the symptoms of RLS severely. (I'd take plain Benedry occassionally for sleep). The scariest feeling  I had was an odd zingy, tingly feeling buzzing up through the back of my neck into my head. (I feared it was  the hormone seratonin- which with these two meds can cause seizures). Several times I was so scared of the feeling I wanted to go to the hospital- never did. Dr. told me not to worry about it because I was on the antidepressant long before the Tramadol. The only safe way to reduce and rid me of those sensations and feelings was to wean me very slowly. Aprox. 5 wks of weaning with minimal symptoms. It worked and I am very proud that I finally did it.. Nov. 1st was my last pill. Also, I used ibuprofen to help the weaning for my joint/muscle pain. I realized that most that pain I was having during my addiction was actually caused by taking Tramadol. It made me feel like I couldn't move in the mornings untill I'd take a Tramadol. Then i ended up w/a stomach ulcer!- from Ibuprofen- that's resolved. Now i take nothing.. stretch, excercise, eat good and free from any crutches. It felt/feels good not to rely on a substance.. just enjoying life naturally.
This is a wonderful/beneficial site. Thank You all. I found this site d/t I just found out my daughter is a heroin addict-- I'm seeking and learning info on it..

Avatar universal
by Fathorses, Jun 13, 2011
My Freedom,

Thanks for the advice, you are abosolutly right. :-)

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 13, 2011
28 days off tramadol, and still feeling the effects of withdrawal in that my body is sluggish, but for the most part I am feeling pretty normal/pre-tramadol addiction. Feeling some personality differences that  are attributable to being in post-addiction transition and am watching myself carefully for signs of Charlie Sheen type over-the-top hypomania and craziness. I'm feeling myself to be less socially inhibited than I was before and wonder if this will last. A lot of other things have happened recently in my life that I've had to deal with, and am waiting to see what changes are permanent. I'm not talking about profound changes that would make me unrecognizable, such as might happen after a stroke, but subtler changes such as more willingness to speak up in a group of people and to say what is really on my mind. I still worry about being egotistical, flamboyant and later wonder if I lack the empathy I used to have for other people's thoughts and feelings...but now I'm feeling the need to express my own thoughts and feelings more and am discovering that I now must reconcile myself to those needs. So now other issues have taken precedence over the tramadol issues. I do not want to use the stuff, but now I have to remake the rest of my life, see what is in ruins, if anything, and go on from there. All part of the withdrawal process.  Which is part of my life but now just a part, not the main part.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 15, 2011
30 days off tramadol. I realize I have moved through these pages like a closed capsule, without responding much to anyone else who posts. But I am feeling the world opening up again. It's like the clouds parting before the sun. But I'm still in transition. I've been attending a writing conference and it has been a revelation, the fact that there can be a community of writers, now and then, and that writers are their own breed. We blend in, until you see a group of us together. I always kidded my husband when I went with him to his annual meetings that you could recognize them a mile away. Writers are the same. Preoccupied, solitary, self-contained, self-reliant, observant but self-critical.  I fit the description. Throw in the accompanying vices: solipsistic, fiercely ambitious and competitive, suspicious, testy, impatient, and you round out the picture. Live by the sword, die by the sword. But this journal is about tramadol and withdrawing from it. I am a writer with a tramadol problem. I am 30 days off the stuff. But that doesn't touch why I was on it. Right now, I am getting clean. It takes a freaking long time. It has colored everything that's happened to me over the past six years. Including my writing. That said, I don't know what will happen tomorrow or next month or next year. To me or the world. I'm revising my book. But if the world ends, that won;t mean a hill of beans. Vanity all things are vanity. Except looking up and sniffing the air and holding to our memories and our loved ones. That's all I know at the moment.

Avatar universal
by StephC28, Jun 15, 2011
Hi all,

SO QUIET in here lately! I hope that's a good thing and that those with whom I "went through detox" (like Kaz (and husband :), Rainallday, Nora, Randy, DamTram, etc) are doing well and staying busy and tramadol free.

Hope the newcomers are doing well - I feel slightly guilty about not posting and trying to offer support. I know how tough this time is. I would say the first two weeks are the hardest...and then staying off...

I find I want to take drugs more these days. I talk with my therapist and friends and family...and so far I've stayed the course. But I won't lie. It's tempting. I think one thing that really stops me is that the online "pharmacies" have started CALLING ME DAILY, asking if I want tramadol. This is beyond infuriating and reminds me that I do not want to be a part of something that is so creepy and, well, just plain wrong.

I am trying to figure out WHY I reach for drugs...and I may be making progress so that one day it won't be as hard to say no. But for now I'm relying on remembering WD, not wanting to let the pharmaceutical companies win, a promise I made to family...mostly external forces, but it's what I have to work with at this point.

It's certainly a let-down after that first month, when you realize you did it, but then life and it's complexity remain present.

My love to all

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by ullr, Jun 18, 2011
Not much to say.
Just wanted to see my tracker, that has passed 100 days!

Still ups and downs here. Today its down. Yesterday was up.
I am really tierd of feeling like this. I just want to feel normal... But what if this is normal?

Feel no drag to tramadol what so ever (well i meen I will NOT take it). Found 300mg in the loundery down in the cellar last week, but flushed it down in the toilet..
If it had been some clean opiat, I am not shure what I would have done.


It may not be particularly motivating for others to read my post. I think of those who go with thoughts of quitting Tramadol. I do not know what I'd done if I had known it would take soo incredibly long time to recover.

On the other hand: It's not that I go around and feel so terrible all the time. Sometimes during the day, I can think of other things ;-). But then the lack of tramadol flow through the body. And still I think I need to take a pill. Almost as hand caresses the pocket, to check if I have a pill. This is probably a thinking pattern that it may take long time to turn. I can walk past the tired, dirty and smelly drug addict on the street and fancy drugs.

But again: If you want to quit this stuff. Do it.
Before you get as drowed into it as me. Its been more or less 11 years on and off; mostly on.

Avatar universal
by CookieMonsta, Jun 19, 2011
Thank you Emily for all you have done!! CookieMonsta

Ps: my story coming soon!!

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by rabbithole, Jun 20, 2011
I am so thankful to everyone who has contributed, I have been reading these posts for months. I want to share my story but I am not quite "there" yet. I have been tapering for 3 weeks now and things are good but the depression is out of this world. More later....

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by ullr, Jun 23, 2011
rabbithole: its hard to find the right moment to quit this drug. It takes time.
I dont know what your dozes have been, and for how lng you have been takeing it,
but if you have been tapering for 3 weeks, maybe its time to quit for good?

Dangerous to say, but the last days, things have started to lighten up!
Have more energy, feel more positive. Am not depressed.

My family will leave for 6 weeks on holyday tomorrow, I hope I am back to "normal" when they return.

It is very silent here.
Thats sad, for the newcomers. For me, in the beginning, this forum was indescribable helpfull.
When you just have quitted, you have so much pain, anger and desperation (and shame) - to meet other that stands just in the same mud helps a lot.

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by ullr, Jun 23, 2011
And of course to read about people that manage to quit, and get well is inspirating!

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jun 23, 2011
Glad to see some old(er)-timers have posted lately, but yes, it is quiet here. I hope that means others who are struggling with tramadol withdrawal are finding it inspirational to read this journal, especially when it starts in 2008. That's where you will find an excruciating account of what happens to you physically and mentally and spiritually when you first kick the monkey off your back. Interesting image, that. How many of us have felt like we actually were being twisted backwards, sideways and upside down when we we finished with the pills?

I'm at 38 days off. So many other things have crowded into my life to fill the space that I don't think about it much anymore. I still have some lingering symptoms of withdrawal: random sneezing fits, draggy feelings in my limbs, a bit of inappropriate elation which may be a symptom of serotonin rebounding into my brain. But it is all good, all better.

I hope to regain energy as the days go on. I do notice that as we recede from our dependence, we tend to turn our attention elsewhere. It's as it should be. Life and tramadol are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Once we loosen its grip, the wisest thing to do is run away. "Run away!!!!": I hear those words as they are spoken, or shouted, by the characters in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" after an encounter with an unexpectedly homicidal rabbit.

"Run away!!!!" and keep running...and most of all, keep laughing.

Avatar universal
by Tramadont_no_more, Jun 24, 2011
I googled tramadol withdrawal and landed here.  My story is like most everyone else.  I have avascular necrosis, a bone disease.  I have had a prosthetic hip since 2004. I am a 50 year old Man.  This is a very painful condition and Doctors say I will need Pain management for the rest of my life.  I have been on tramadol since 1996.  I was first perscribed it from a free clinic (no medical insurance) because it was non-narcotic and would help with my joint pain.  The rest is pretty much the same old story,  I discovered early the pain of withdrawal when I ran short on my scripts.  I was taking as much as 480 pills a month ( my wife is perscribed them & I took hers too).  In all the years of taking them, I was always with in a day or so of getting a refill, until my doc changed my script and reduced my dose and I didn't catch it. Doctor also put me on cymbalta at the same time as reducing my Ultram.  Long story short, I ran completely out with several weeks till refill.  Started Cymbalta about a week before I ran out.  The cymbalta made me sicker than I have ever been after a week.  I was so sick from the cymbalta to start with, at first i didn't even notice the Tramadol withdrawals. Needless to say I quit the cymbalta.  This was my A-hah moment! I have been in pain management for 6 years off & on.  I have run the full gambit with pain meds.....Lortabs, Oxys. roxies, Opana, even methadon.  Nothing has ever made me feel like this crap.  I tried cold turkey but was too painful.............lucky I have lots of friends and who take Ultram and they were kind enough to loan me enough to taper to my next refill.  I had my wife to control my taper, I cut out a half a pill at a time over the next few months,  When I got to 75 mg a day I quit!  Today is day 5 clean!  I am using vitamins and L-methionine plus milk thistle for my liver, ginsing extract & B12 for energy.  I have quit my pain management program and I use medical marijuana twice a day for my pain!  I take .75 mg of xanax for sleep. I have enough for about another week!  I know I can beat this crap!  I'm not free yet but I'm getting there!  I'm also walking up to 2 miles a day!  My Dog loves this!!  I feel like I'm coming out of a dark place!  I know all the mental issues are from the drug and I can think myself thru it.  I will never take another Ultram or narcotic pain med as long as I have a say!  If I can do it anyone can!  I want to heal and have the best life I can in my condition!  One thing that helps me is warmer weather!!  Cold is not my friend!  I am grateful for the stories here, I am not alone....when things get bad I come here to busy my mind! I never post on any forum but I felt this one helped me to know I can get thru this!  I thank each one here who shared their pain and triumph.  I will continue to lurk and will report back in a month with my progress!!  again Thank you!

Avatar universal
by Tramadont_no_more, Jun 25, 2011
I should also mention that when all this started I had ballooned to over 300 lbs.  While I was sick from the cymbalta I lost 20 pounds!  I figured since I was turning over a new leaf with my meds, I might as well try to get healthy all around especially my weight!  Docs have advised for a long time I'd be better and less pain if I lost weight!  I cut out soda and sugar,  I have never eat breakfast, now I do.  I eat more now than I ever have but it's healthy foods!  I have 5-6 small meals a day.  I'm never hungry and with the exercise, I've dropped to 262 pounds..............200-205 is my goal!!  so I'm tring to get healthy all around!  God bless my darling wife of 24 years!  She has been my rock thru this!!  Support at home is important.  Confide in some one to help you with a taper, it's the way to go for me anyway!!  thanks

Avatar universal
by kaz47, Jun 29, 2011
Hello all -just dropped by to say hello....

ULLR - well done! Over 100 days and going strong - you have done brilliantly and things will get better and better - my husband is now 170 days off tramadol - he still gets mild RLS now and again and occasional indigestion problems - mainly when he is stressed - mentally the after effects of this drug seem to come and go for a while as has been recorded her eon more than one occasion  - BUT generally great - he is more his old self - I mean by that more his old self BEFORE tramadol days!

Steph - glad to see you are doing well - hope that all the other 'old timers' ie Nora, Damtram, Rain, etc are also doing great - what a long way you have all come since January!

For those of you lurking in the shadows or just starting out on this journey to getting your life back, it is difficult at first, to say otherwise would be wrong. When my husband stopped taking tramadol I had no idea what would happen or what the aftermath would be - we were both totally unprepared and but for the advice of the good people here would at times have doubted our own sanity to be honest - however, every day free of this drug brings small improvements - all you need is a little patience and lots of time - recovery will happen - you will feel better and you will get control of your life back. Don't fall at the first hurdle - congratulate yourself for every hour, day, week and month that you are not taking this drug.

Have a little faith, courage and self belief and you will get there! Love and respect as always x

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by NoraTorious, Jul 05, 2011
Well, it's been awhile,  but as of yesterday I have been Tramadol-free for 6 months. I implore all newbies and lurkers to stick with it. Yes, the first few weeks are hell, but it is so so worth it. I cannot believe I am at 6 months. I feel better. More clear-minded, and improving energy level.

My husband still has not got a steady job, but has had some short- time computer gigs, so some money is coming in. I am hopeful that something will come soon for us.

Let me tell ya, if I can do this, anyone can.

I will write more later. Having some trouble writing with a kitty on my lap. :)

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by rabbithole, Jul 06, 2011
I have been taking tramadol for approx 2 years now. I have syringomyelia (painful and rare spine disease) and osteo arthritis.  I am 36 years old and I am married, stay at home Mom to  the most active 3 year old girl. I felt good about taking tramadol because I was in so much pain that I was almost suicidal. My doctor said tramadol was not a narcotic and was not addictive. I quickly realized that wasn't true.

I found out by chance when I did not pick up my RX on time and started to get very sick about a day after stopping the pills. I have gone off the pills for short periods of time but had to come back to them because there is no one who can take care of my daughter and my husband expects me to "tough it out" he really thinks its no big deal, I have little support on this one. I have taken more than prescribed at times because like others the pills stopped working and I did like the feeling I got from them. For the most part I have taken 2 pills 4 or 5 times per day, just to manage pain. I used to be very active. I never went a day without running or exercising. Now I am this depressed, sad, shell of my former self and I feel like a terrible Mom. I love my daughter and take good care of her but she does not get enough social interaction with other kids for the last year because of my struggles with this medication. It has completely changed my personality. I am so ashamed.

I have been weaning down for about a month now and I have some good days and some bad days, the worst was when I went down to 150mg. I cut down to 75mg day before yesterday and I have gotten only about 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. I am not giving up, I will beat this drug and every day I see more of myself coming back, my personality, a little of my drive. The depression has been absolutely overwhelming and if I had been aware of the SSRI effect of the drug I would NEVER have taken it. I have taken opiate based pain medication for more than a month before and had no problem with withdrawal. I quit smoking seven years ago after a 15 year habit and this is 100X harder than that was.

Thanks to everyone for sharing so much I have read these journals for months and they have helped me so much.

Avatar universal
by hopefulmamaof2, Jul 08, 2011
Well here it goes...I am currently in recovery from a severe tramadol addiction.  I started a rapid taper 30 days ago, and I haven't taken any tramadol at all for about 2 weeks.  When I quit I was up to 30 50 mg tablets at day, in two divided doses.  However, I have taken as many as 20 50 mg tablets at once.  I know, it's crazy.  I had finally had enough, and I sought the help of a substance abuse counselor who recommended an internal medicine doc, who was also an addictionologist.  I gave all of my pills to a family member, and set up a rapid taper schedule that we both promised to stick to.  It was something like 10 pills the first day in two doses, one in the morning and one at night, and then cutting down by two pills per day until I was off.  The doc also prescribed me a clonidine patch, citalopram and phenobarb at night to decrease the risk of seizures.  I have to say that it took a lot of self control, but it wasn't that bad.  I have tried countless times to get off of the tramadol and without weaning, I think it is damn near impossible.  The meds from the doc were a bonus that made it that much easier.  I haven't taken the phenobarb for about a week, and I'm on my last clonidine patch.  I continue to take the citalopram each morning.  I have been doing ok up until the last couple of days.  I have been feeling really depressed, and super unmotivated, and I have been having those evil thoughts about getting more tramadol.  Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier to just give up.  Although, I have to admit, it sounds insane when I actually read it.  I am going to stick with it because I do feel so much better off the crap than on.  I will continue to see my counselor and see about going to some meetings.  I know I have come so far and I am hoping it will get easier each day.    

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by rainallday, Jul 09, 2011
Hey Kaz, Nora, StephC, madtram, and MyFreedom hope all are well..
        I stopped in because I had to come confess that I took 2 tramadol's on thursday night, for acute tooth ache.abscess pain during work...Didnt want to miss work and money, but was in near tears, aspirin werent working. The earliest I can get to see someone would be monday so Its already been a long weekend. My upper lip is swelled up almost like a duck lol...But I havent taken any since thrusday night (took 1st at 719 2nd at 1019pm)......The pills worked just well enough to take the aweful edge off the pain...Later after work I bought garlic cloves at walmart and have been slicing garlic and putting it betweek cheek and gums and its helped well as very old amoxicillin (a sheet of 10),,
      I was doing great up till thursday, riding bike harder and farther each week, getting in better shape each week,,,I was at about 6 months of the tramadol, and I'm still at 3 months on the cigarettes and doing fine there..also still no sodas...I knew my teeth were bad so I'm not taken by surprise at all, but the pain was overwhelming.....I'm used to pain, but this was like being stung by a bee repeatedly right below the nose in the right front tooth.Anyhow I've managed the duller throbbing pain I get since thursday with just aspirin,..I have no plans to take any more tramadol unless emergency level pain crops up...I'm saving up money to just get all the teeth done, probably with dentures, I have no insurance.
    In a short time I hope to look back at this as a dumb bump in the road to being all better...I'm still on plan to get to all of the big 4 new years resolutions....(and bucket lists)
we'll see how I feel monday, I have enough to get extraction if needed.....(not enough for er or real dentist)
      And yes MyFreedom storms were bad here in June!! Nocked my cat shelter down sevral times. Now its the heat every day aweful heat and humidity but it's ok I ride bicycle at night when it's cooler..

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by ullr, Jul 11, 2011
I think I'm over it now.

Has been a week on vacation in the west country and had it good all the time. no signs of withdrawal or depression.

There have been some tough months, and I have often wondered if it was worth it, but now I'm just happy. Look to the future.

Even with my extreme consumption over a long time, one is healthy after a while!

Wish all good luck with their lives without tramadol! And thanks to you all. Too bad it's so quiet here, because when you are a couple three four weeks into the job, you have a great need to to express oneself

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by ullr, Jul 11, 2011

did not intend to post three posts...

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by EmilyPost, Jul 11, 2011
:) Awe Ullr, tis ok I'll clean it up.

It's always slow in Summer here ... ebb &flow


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by rabbithole, Jul 12, 2011
I am finally at the end of my taper of 7 weeks. I have good days and bad, the bad ones are full of depression and anxiety, mood swings, food cravings.

While I was on tramadol my hormones got completely out of whack. I now realize that the tramadol did something very weird in regards to testosterone, after some research. It caused a tremendous amount of problems with cycles ( severe pain, long periods, etc). I ended up having exploratory surgery because my doc thought I must have had ovarian cancer. It turns out I was so constipated for such a long period of time from the tramadol that when she went in all of my organs "bled to the slightest touch". The level of inflammation in my body was incredible. Mind you, I am someone who prior to tramadol never experienced a single day of constipation in my life. I didn't personally know anyone healthier than me prior to my syringomyelia diagnosis and tramadol RX. I exercised everyday, never stopped moving, had a very healthy diet. For the last 2 years these things have faded away. I stopped exercising because of pain and also because tramadol seemed to make me not care anymore, my diet has also gone to ****. I lost weight when I first started tramadol, although I wasn't heavy before, I got really skinny but over the last year I have gained it all back plus more. I have been using med MJ to help me sleep at night but sleeping has continued to be a challenge.  

I am taking vitamins, omega 3's, l-tyrosine, b-12 shots (weekly), n-acetly-cystine(Sp), molybendum, and magnesium etc... the supplements do seem to help take the edge off.

Good luck to you all :)

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by rabbithole, Jul 12, 2011
I also forgot to mention that I was taking trazadone every night for sleep (50mg) for the last two years as well, turns out it is an old school anti-depressant too. I wonder if taking this along with the tramadol was causing issues with seratonin, etc because I was having all kinds of issues....I mean, I was a COMPLETELY different person for years... while on this stuff, I just hope I can get back to my old self soon, also had a ton of other issues, I will share them later.

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by rabbithole, Jul 13, 2011
Really bad day yesterday, it was almost impossible to sleep, I tried everything. Raw nerves, on edge,depressed, spaced out, anxiety filled and this is after 8 weeks of tapering. Crazy.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jul 13, 2011
Hi Rabbithole,

It does get better. Sounds like you are at the beginning of the cold turkey period. Tapering helps, but as soon as you go cold turkey, you are on the roller coaster ride of full-on withdrawal. Your body does some very weird things the first couple of weeks  after you go cold turkey. Pains and weaknesses pop up all over your body and sometimes you feel like you are in wonderland.

Hang in there. Sounds like you know you need to get off for many reasons and that is the greatest motivator of all.

I am at 59 days off and feel much more normal than I did during  the first two weeks. But I am still weak and prone to fatigue. I have no cravings for the stuff, however. Like you, I knew it was doing very bad things to me.


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by EmilyPost, Jul 13, 2011
Rabbithole the most helpful suppliment I used was sublingual B-12 which many studies show is 90% as effective as injections.   Hang on Sweets, you can do it. Time passes and you heal. We heal

So honored to be with you all.

Avatar universal
by jomasmomagain3, Jul 14, 2011
Hi all, Haven't posted in a long time. I couldn't log in and everytime I tried to reset my pasword it would never email it to me, so I was formly JomasMomAgain now I'm Jomasmomagain3. I Quit cold Turkey on Febuary 12th of 2011. After about a 3 year addiction, at one point I was taking anywhere from 12 to 20 50mgs a day. but towards the end I managed to get down to 5 or 6 50mg. I got to a point I hated them and hated that my life revolved around the pills and not what was important, my three girls......I was off of them about 6weeks and ended up with an abscessed tooth that severly infected my sinuses, after many antibiotis, the infections cleared up after 3 weeks. it was horrible and I was put on hydrocodone and was scared to death of what kind of withdrawls I would have after just coming off the tramadol so soon, When I stopped taking the pain meds I was shocked to find I felt soooo much better than I had at 6 weeks off the trams. I don't advise ANYONE to take the hydro's to get over the trams. I def. felt my addictive personality kick in while on them and started getting to that point of taking more than I needed just because it made me feel good and gave me the energy I hadn't had since getting of the trams..

These days I am feeling So much better than I have in years. I am so glad I no longer have to count pills and fear running out or having to drive back home after not taking a few for the road incase i wasn't home for my next dose. I'm not in that fog anymore and my energy is returning everyday... I have found that a Starbucks double shot mohca with ginseng at about 3pm on the days I am feeing tired helps alot, which I know is getting better because in those first weeks, not even that would help with the energy.. (This is my only withdrawl symptom i am having and not sure if it just seems like a symtom since my main love for trams was because of the energy they gave me. I am def. not a high energy person so this has been hard on me)

I Just want everyone who is in the begining of withdraws to know it does get better. It seems like your never going to get better and there will be days that you feel like you are stumbling backwards instead of moving forward, but you get there and when you do, you will feel so good and happy and realize how much you were missing!  Instead of locking myself away in the house and just floating through life. i am taking the kids places and swimming with them and enjoying summer vacation, something I haven't done in a few years. My husband is so glad I finally beat this. he has always supported me and took care of everything in the first days and even weeks of withdraws.

Congrats to everyone who has made it and Goodluck to those who have made that step to quit. It can be rough, but don't give up!!!

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by rabbithole, Jul 14, 2011
Thanks for your replies lostintramlation and Emily. I have read through nearly all of the posts in these journals over the last few months and I can't tell you how helpful it has been.

Last two nights, very little sleep, lots of baths and the heating pad seems to help a little with the restless legs. Today the hollow nerves feeling seemed a bit better, but the depression and lack of motivation are killing me. I am sticking with this and I will never take another tramadol. Tramadol made my pain worse and almost cost me my family. I was a completely different person and I am so ashamed of the things I neglected during my use of this drug. My husband is happy that I am off the tramadol, but I know it has hurt our trust level.

I also wanted to mention that while on tramadol I would go on shopping binges and spend a lot of money on-line shopping, etc. I am not a big shopper normally, it's so odd how I went into this crazy haze. I am thanking my higher power each day that I did not do more damage than what I did.

I so look forward to my get up and go returning. I miss exercising every day and feeling good about myself. My house is not in the condition I would like either, it's like I have been absent all this time and I am returning to find what remains of my life. Wow, and all this after a doc was afraid of getting me hooked on narcotics so he gave me tramadol instead??? Narcotics have got nothing on tramadol as far as I am concerned. I may feel icky for a day or two at the most going off narcotics. This is madness!! I feel like bloody hell!! But I am greatful for two days completely free of tramadol. The last few weeks I was on 25 mg per day so not a big jump but still feel like bloody hell.

Good work lostintramlation for reaching 59 days, and so glad you are feeling more normal, something to look forward to!

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by rabbithole, Jul 14, 2011
Thanks also to JMA for sharing your story, it really helps to know that you made it through, I know I can too and I understand your guilt. The guilt concerning my daughter is really overwhelming me. I never neglected her in the classic sense but wait I guess I did since there were so many days that we didn't go out, she needed interaction with other children on a daily basis and I did not provide that, I became so agoraphobic while taking this medicine. Tramadol has the weirdest effect on people....

Anyway, keep going strong JMA, your family must be so happy to have you "back"...I know mine is, even though I am not all the way there yet.....there is a huge difference already.

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by rabbithole, Jul 14, 2011
i want to show my progress here I guess I will repost.

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by Jomasmomagain, Jul 14, 2011
After all this time, medhelp finally sent me my pasword..LOl so i am back to my original username..

rabbithole, I so get the shopping thing. it's like you know you shouldn't spend it, but then your trama mind tells you everything will be ok, go ahead. I did the same thing. My kids did suffer, but not until after I was off of it did I realize how much. I seemed to want to be left alone and there are so many things the kids have taold me or talked to me about and all i did was nod and not really hear them.. Your daughter is about the age my youngest was when I started taking the tramadol. she is 7 now and I feel like I have wasted so much time. So glad you are doing this now, before you miss out on too much. I also hated being social, but when around people I wasn't shy or stand off like I am off of them, but with that said, I always  jumbled my words up or came off sounding stupid. I think it's because of the fog the trams put you in and I really had to think before I said things, the words just rolled out of my mouth without My main hobby is scrapbooking and I bet I can count on one hand how many times I have scrapbooked in the past three years. So I am looking foward to getting back into it!

Sounds like you are well on your way to having your family back. The tracker helped me so much, just getting on and seeing one more day on it felt so good

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by Jomasmomagain, Jul 14, 2011
YAY! My tracker shows 2 more days sober from trams than I thought!!

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by NoraTorious, Jul 15, 2011
JMA-it's so good to see you again! I am glad you are doing so well! Please post more of your lovely pictures. I saw a flock of parrots the other day and thought of you.

At 6 months, I realize that I may be the slowest at recovery. I have more good days than bad, but I am still real fatigued.
I have no cravings, I am doing quite well. My Drs kind of messed with my other meds, which put me in withdrawals, but I had them put things back as they were and I felt better in a week or so.

Rabbithole, all the symptoms you had on Tramadol were the same as mine. I was depressed, agoraphobic, prone to do A
LOT of online Shopping; I am a vintage clothes fanatic and I was buying lots of clothes for me and my husband, I laid down $300 for a beautiful pair of shoes from the 40's (sure they are gorgeous, but what was I thinking?), plus lots of undergarments. I am normally very good with my money, so I was a little off, to say the least. It's funny how sommany of us have these symptoms, (especially the agoraphobic thing) and the Drs NEVER mention it!

On a better note, after 9 months of unemployment, of scraping for money, of selling our wordly possessions ( a car, tons of CDs and DVDs, 2 gold coins), and using up our money to visit the British Isles, MY HUSBAND HAS A JOB! yes he does. It's a contract job, but it lasts for 2 years (if they don't hire him on first, because he is so awesome), and he is making what he made before, so no pay cuts. And he is working in software testing, stuff he loves. We have learned to budget more than before, we lost our storage space (goodbye all my vintage clothes from when I has a size 4!), we are down to one car, but we are alive and healthy, and so are our kitties. We have learned a lot from this experience, both the job loss and the Tramadol loss.

It's good to see some familiar faces here, and to the newbies, I am telling you, if I can do it, anyone can! I have no super
strength, I am out of shape and over 40. So keep on fighting! Take baths, walks and sublingual B12!

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by rabbithole, Jul 15, 2011
Congrats JMA!!, 154 days!! I envy you, can't wait to be there myself. I kept waking up last night but still slept about 5-6 hours, I guess thats good considering. I am glad that I tapered even though it was pretty difficult to go through 8 weeks of mild to moderate withdrawals. Although, if around the clock child care  had been available for at least a week, I think I would have tapered for just a few weeks and then cold turkey to get it over with.

Last night I took a muscle relaxer to try and help with sleep. I have a bunch of them that were prescribed to me by my neurologist for my SM. I have no worries of getting addicted to them because I honestly hate taking them, I hate the way they make me feel. I was hopeful that the muscle relaxer would help with sleep but I don't know if it worked. I also have some Med Mary jane, it's legal because I have a "card" with the state. It helps sometimes but I generally don't like doing it, it makes me feel lazy and my skin breaks out. I have to say it does help with pain more than any of the many pain medications I have tried and with less side effects, the side effects that do exist are mild. I don't drink at all, I quit drinking about 7 years ago. My father was, well I guess you would call it a highly functional alcoholic. He was very successful in his career, but would come home each day and get sh*tfaced and mean and batsh*t crazy all at once.  I guess I was destined for addiction considering the fact that both of my parents were heroin addicts around the age of 20. Apparently my mom still used some heroin during her pregnancy according to some family members but both my parents ended up quitting heroin while I was in utero. I learned of all of this in just the past few years and it explains A LOT!

Anyway, sorry for going off subject, I always find it interesting to know how people end up where they "are" in life. My story has so many subplots, twists,  and turns.  I should really write it all down some day.

Feeling more normal each and every day, I know that there will be more bad days to come but nothing can stop me now! freedom!

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by rabbithole, Jul 15, 2011
oops ticker, gotta remember that next time.

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by Jomasmomagain, Jul 16, 2011
Nora, CONGRATS on your hubby getting a job. You are one tough person if you got clean during a very stressful time. What a relief for you both!  Oh I would love to take pictures of a flock of parrots, how beautiful they must be.. I am getting ready to load some pictures I took today of the flowers in my front yard. I wish it would cool down a little. It's been in the 100's but it's so muggy most of the time. Heat index has been 109. I have gained way too much weight since getting off the trams to be able to handle the My Brother and his family are in Cancun on vacation and I am so jealous, i can only imagine all the beautiful pictures I could take there!   I see that you are almost at 200 days clean. I can't wait to hit that mark!

Rabbithole, 5 to 6 hours of sleep is pretty good! I hope last night was just as good..I tappered to about 5 a day and I just couldn't do it so i applaud you. i do think that is the reason my withdraws weren't as bad as they were in the past. I did take a half a xanax to help me sleep the first couple of night and then a half of a half. they make me so groggy the next day that I can't stand it and haven't had any since. I have 4 bottles of Flexiril, a muscle relaxer, I was perscribed for my degenerative disck diesease. I haven't taken any of those in years. I just can't take anything that makes me tired the next day. the reason being that I loved the tramadol so much. gave me so much energy, but also took more and more to get me that energy. If I were still on them I would prob. be of to 30 a day!   I have a close friend going through hydrocodone withdraw right now and only because she ran out of her 120 day supply in 2 1/2 weeks.  what she is going through brings back so much for me and I am so thankful that I am not having to go through this every month anymore like she is. quality of life is so much better. I am still feeling the fatigue at times but all in all I feel so much better and you will too!!     As far as how we got here, I think some people are just wired differently. I "experimented" in high school, but that was it. hated pot, hated the way it made me feel.. drank a little here and there, but that was it. got married at 18 found out at 24 my hubby was cheating through out whole marrige and divorced. I just lost it. spent a year and a half drinking and what ever else I just didn't care. Then got pg with DD#1 and that changed my life! never touched another thing until I had to have a hysterectomy and the Dr. gave me 240 tramadol with 5 refills and it "wasn't" addictive and made me feel good.. hmmmmmm.. before that I could take vicodin and never had a prob..... Thats how I got here...

a family member that use to take them too, finally quit about 2 months ago. I am so happy they did, because I think it would have been torture knowing they had them and I could get some anytime. They even went to the dr. to see if there was anything that could help with the withdrawl and depression and he insisted many times that this was not the cause and tried to write her another script.. She finally got stern with the Dr and told him about me and how sick I had been and he said "Oh" and never mentioned it again. Goes to show there are still Dr's out there that don't believe it can cause addiction or withdrawls.. Ok enough rambling!

Hope everyone is doing good and able to enjoy their weeked!

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by NoraTorious, Jul 16, 2011
Oh Tramadol, you suck so much. I was so much thinner while I was on you, and now I have gained a ton of weight. I am feeling good to walk each day, and I am going to start taking yoga classes as well. My chronic pain has not been so bad since I went off Tramadol, and I am getting into a pain program that will set me up with acupuncture and some low impact exercises.

I hope everyone is doing well. My husband is gearing up for his first day of his job, on the 25th. He visits the Barber on the 24th. An old school style that gives a hot shave with a straight - edge razor and a haircut in a gorgeous original barber's chair. He is very happy and excited and I am for him as well.

I am looking into some anxiety management as well.

All the new people and regulars, all my love and best wishes.

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by Jomasmomagain, Jul 16, 2011
I feel your pain on the weight gain! I think I have gained about 18lbs... I feel rolly polly now.. I have always had weight issuse, but the trams got me down to within 25lbs of my goal weight..I eat like crazy now!

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by NoraTorious, Jul 17, 2011
I think out of all of you guys, I have taken the longest time to turn back to 'normal'. I am beginning to feel less fatigue and more energy, I do not return to my bed during the day, I am trying to exercise more and continue to eat healthy. Some friend's of mine and I are starting a weightloss group so we can support each other. I want to fit into my clothes, most of all, my collection of gorgeous vintage clothes. Some of them are way too small (I doubt I will be a 4-6) again, but there are plenty others I can easily fit back in and look fabulous :)

So as I have less fatigue -ridden days, my feet are doing better. My feet were always freezing. It was like an ice cold air conditioner was blowing on them. It has passed, and I am sure the warm summer air has had a hand with toasting them up again.

JMA - your pictures are gorgeous,. You have a gift. You ought to submit some at the fair, or a local magazine, I the Japanese maple tree, and all your birds. I think I might have to buy the cardinal picture for my mother in law. Keep posting those pics!

Be well, all!

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by rabbithole, Jul 17, 2011
Last night was the worst...couldn't sleep no matter what I tried, and I was soooo tired. Slept 5 hours the night before. I feel worse today in general, this recovery is so unpredictable. I am gaining weight too but the tramadol wasn't helping with my weight anymore for the last 7 months anyhow. I actually think it was making me crave sugar like crazy so I am quite sure if I go up a few pounds now, I will be back down before I know it. My desire to exercise is already starting to come back and I care more about what I eat. The old me is coming back, very slowly but boy oh boy I would love a good nights sleep.  I am so tired I can't write anymore at the moment but happy to hear about everyones progress.

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by rabbithole, Jul 17, 2011
ticker? I don't know why it won't show up.

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by NoraTorious, Jul 17, 2011
Rabbithole-sleep is one of the last things to come. I can't even sleep without the aid of meds, and lately they only keep me asleep until four in the morning. I know I need to rethink them and try something different, but I don't want to have to go withdrawals from something else again. They tried to already and I had a difficult time. I know more exercise will help and I am working on that.

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jul 18, 2011
Sleep comes after a few days. Lack of sleep bothered me more than the other symptoms; when you're asleep, you can forget the experience of waiting for withdrawals to be over, or at least, you are in a different state of mind. I remember that taking melatonin helped; also long, hot baths and watching TV: HGTV home improvement shows and HBO's Game of Thrones were a God-send.

Thinking now about the state of insanity tramadol use puts us into: online spending sprees, weird states of hibernation. I'm so glad I'm 63 days out, but it's going to take a lot longer than that to put my life together. It's happening. But I came out on the end fighting mad and impatient. Maybe the thought of all those years lost has made me realize how much I need to make up for.

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by NoraTorious, Jul 19, 2011
I have been off Tramadol for 6 months and I still have trouble with my sleep. :/

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by rabbithole, Jul 19, 2011
Wow, Nora and lostintramlation, I am not happy to hear that sleep is still and issue after being off tramadol for such a long time.

Yesterday was the hardest most excruciating day so far in my recovery. I slept maybe 2 hours in 2 nights and yesterday I suddenly started having all kinds of bad withdrawals again, not to mention I was so tired I was almost falling over. I decided that maybe now is not the best time to go off the trazadone at the same time as the tramadol. I have been taking tramadol to sleep for some time now but I only take 1/2 or 1/4 of a pill per night. I decided to refill my RX yesterday and something VERY ODD happened, I have to share.

I opened up the trazadone yesterday and took out about 5 pills so that I could cut them in halves and fourths in order to have them ready at bed time. Now this is the CRAZY part, I noticed some of the pills in the bottle looked different. Trazadone is scored down the middle you see. I took a closer look and guess what I found?? There were 7 tramadol pills MIXED IN with my trazadone!!!! In all of my life I have never gotten an RX with other pills accidentally mixed in. And of all the drugs in the world, it was tramadol??? Crazy, right??? So on my 7th day of recovery, I find 7 tramadol (i know exactly what the look like, unfortunately)  pills in my trazadone bottle. I was honestly tempted to cut one in half and take it just to sleep, but I did not! I showed them to my husband and he was shocked. Then I put them in the sink drain immediately. WTF??? Seriously, that was a very weird experience.

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by rabbithole, Jul 19, 2011
Important Correction to my above post, I have been taking trazadone for sleep NOT tramadol...!!!

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by rabbithole, Jul 20, 2011
*8* hours of sleep last night! I gave myself a b-12 shot yesterday and I have been hitting all the supplements hard, now if I can get myself running again. I was training for my first full marathon when I started on tramadol a few years ago. I had just completed my first half marathon and as I took more tramadol, I ran less and less and had more and more pain. If I had only known the tramadol caused a lot of the pain.

I feel GREAT today, starting to feel like *me* again! I know there will be a lot of tough days to come but thank the beauty that is nature and my higher power!!! YEAH!!!

Hope everyone else is having a great week, crickets are chirping around here but it is the middle of summer so.... hope everyone is enjoying life away from this horrible drug called tramadol.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
I need encouragement, please help. It looks like this is the place to get it. I was on 400mg of tram and 2mg clonazapam a day for 5yrs. Have been tapering down on my own since Nov 2010, seven months. I now take 1(50mg) every12hrs. I am ready to get my life back. But im TERRIFIED to go cold turkey these last 2 pills. I know its mostly a mind thing. I have been tapering for seven months and it has been horrible every time I taper down. Im want to get my mind back!!! I want to get my emotions back!!! Im so very desparate to be out of this fog!!! I no longer have what this was originally prescribed for. I have taken my last pill just 2 1/2hrs ago. Please help me make a stand. I apreciate and thank you for any encouragement you can offer. Why is this so hard at this point?

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
Just wanted to add I am now completely off the clonazapam and,have been tapered down to 2 50mg tram a day for 7 weeks now.

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by rabbithole, Jul 21, 2011
lindalistless you have been tapering a long time, you should be fine. You tapered much longer than I did and my only major issue was sleep. Its not easy but you can do it and trust me when I say it sooo worth it! it is only a matter of your brain adjusting. Omega 3's and 5-htp have helped me alot, also drinking coffee a few times during the day seems to help too in boosting the old brain chemicals. Best of luck to you, you can do it!

I am feeling really good today, still not the "old" me but so much better, my personality is coming back and so are my priorities. More later...

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by rabbithole, Jul 21, 2011
forgot to mention....I also highly recommend taking l-tyrosine and n-acetly-cystine (sp) a few times a day and B-12 (sublingual or shot) once a week or so, alternatively do the sublingual tablets once a day. It is truly amazing what a difference these supplements make! I would also take a high quality multiple B supplement if you are not already. Anything that boosts the brain and nervous system is awesome.

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by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
Rabbithole, thank you so much for responding to my SOS. Its so great to know someone else cares and is confident you can make it. So good to know that my 7 month taper was not for nothing. I guess the reson ive been so scared is because seven weeks ago I taoered off 1/8th of a benzo pill and went down 50mg tram at the same time. It was horrendous!!! Ive just this week evened out enough to go ct. I am so excited to get my life back. So glad to hear you are making steady progress, gives me something to shoot for. Keep posting you really make a difference. Thanks again, will try to keep you updated.....

Avatar universal
by WorriedandinPain, Jul 21, 2011
Ok, Scared.I had a stroke in April. I currently take Topamax for migraines (preventative) Valium 5mg for Vertigo,  Fioricet w/ Codeine for break thru migraines.  Well this is day three of a hellish migraine. I called my neurologist, and of course he is on vacation this week. So one of his partners calls in a prescription which was Tramadol 1 every 4 hours as needed for pain. So far I've taken 2. My Doctor returns next week. I already take enough crap as is, and I need some relief, but do not wish to go through the hell described!!! Recommendations?... Thanks... Worried and in Pain

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
I know everyones situation is different. Im probably not the one to come to for recommendations. All I know is tram is extremely addictive. Because of the antidepresant that is in it, it is in a class by itself. The withdrawel is not only different but longer than a regular pain killer. Now that I know that, I would rather take anything else.,but thats me. I am now 21hrs away from my last pill taken at 11:00pm last night. I AM NOT HAVING FUN!! But I have to do this!! I must have my life back after five yrs. Im so sorry for what your having to go through . Be kind to yourself. Im sure you'll make the right decision. Ill be praying for you. Im still scared.

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by Jomasmomagain, Jul 21, 2011

Lindalistless, I agree, you have might not have it that bad is you C/T.. wasm taking about 12 50mg and weaned myself down to 5 over a very long time and then went C/T. I couldn't do it anymore and my weren't as bad as they had been when I had gone C/T off between 12 and 20 a day habit. Now that was Rough!.. Look up the Thomas recipe and follow it. I also drank Ensure protien, took b-6 and the 5htp. I have heard alot of people really like the Gaba.. I haven't tried it.. I am at 6months off tramadol and I can say I am feeling LOTS better. My energy is still not what it use to be, I am at the point where I am not dead tired by 3pm but I still don't the energy I use to , to clean the house like a mad woman!
Hang in there. you will love getting the old you back.

Rabbithole,yay you have made it 10 days... I hope your still able to sleep well. My sleep is way better than in the begining. I sleep 8 hours without any help, but I can't sleep past 7:30 for some reason and I wake everynight betwen 4:30 and 5:30 sweating really just in the neck and chest area. It is horrible. have no idea why. It's been going on since I quit tramadol oh and I have to wear socks al day because my feet freeze.. crazy. but really thats all symptoms I have left so I'll take it..

Nora, you have my permission to take what ever picture you want and copy it.. I just do it for fun. I remember  1 week  off tramadol, I took my girls to the lake and took pictures of them, It made me feel so good to get out and just take pictures. I Love to scrapbook and I still have not been able to get back into it. i use to do it all the tiem before the tramadol, but once I was on them, I lost intrest. Didn't stop me from buying tons of scrpbook stuff. just never had the "want" to do it. hopefully I will get back into it soon!

WorriedandinPain, I don't know what to tell you, I suffer migrains also and It is no fun. I Imetrex, but funny thing is, i have has less headaches since being off the trams, I don't think a weeks worth will hurt you, but be very careful, I never had an addictive personality until I got on tramadol. also I have found that trams can make your headache worse... goodluck!

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
Thought id throw this out there. I have read many places in the last 7 months that benzos have the worst withdrawels then Tramadol then heroin. You decide.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 21, 2011
Jomasmomagain, thank you so very much for your advice and encouragement. Congratulations to you. Cant wait to be where you are. Trying not to look at are far I have to go. If I can just make it thtough tonight. Not doing very good right now. Will update as I can . Thanks again:)

Avatar universal
by TRAMMAN999, Jul 22, 2011
I have gone for it yet again. Why on earth do I do this  -  I have relapsed so many times  -  and now I have to face the horrors again.
See tracker; you'll see I am day 8 !!!
What a ride of a week it has been.
Now left with extreme fatigue, aching lower back and sore legs at night. Doing better with sleep.
Didn't sleep for 5 nights. In fact that is the worst withdrawal for me.
Report back in a few days.
No more relapses PLEASE !?

Avatar universal
by WorriedandinPain, Jul 22, 2011
Thanks for the comments and recommendations. I am on Migraine day 4. I am trying to take nothing and just lay still. I just pray it will pass. I know it has to eventually. I definitely do not want to make it worse by taking the tram. I slept well, but every time I woke up, my head felt worse than it did before. So I think you are right Jomasmomagain!!

Avatar universal
by WorriedandinPain, Jul 22, 2011
Thanks Lindaslistless-- Yeah, I wish I had a choice about the benzo, but due to the vertigo- the valium is a vestibular suppressant, I cannot walk or drive without it. Not fun...

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by rabbithole, Jul 22, 2011
I think it is very difficult to judge which drug is the "hardest" to get off of. It is so subjective, much too subjective to try and compare, depends so much on the individual. I was on benzos for about 6 months many, many years ago. I found them very hard to quit and I actually had a gran mal seizure because I stopped taking them too fast. But I still find that for me, tramadol has been the most difficult and long lasting withdrawl. I have quit smoking a after a pack a day habit for 13+ years (7 years ago), I quit drinking after being a heavy drinker for 7 years(6 years ago). Nothing has been as difficult for me as tramadol. Looking back I might have a bit of a tendency to get addicted, not obvious at all??, ha.

Still going strong and feeling better every day!

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 22, 2011
Worriedandinpain- first of all try not to worry, get a good dr. if you already have one that understands withdrawel he  can help you with a good withdrawel taper plan. In the mean time try to stay away from the tram as much as possible till your dr. gets back. Life is not easy you need to be as kind to yourself as you can.   It has been 34hrs since I jumpef off. Confined  to the house, living,in the bathtup. You name the symtom I have it. Im pretty sure the tram w/d are triggering the benzo withdrawels. Im hangin in there. Will check back when feeling a little better....

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by rabbithole, Jul 22, 2011
I feel really good today, ready to start training for my marathon again? Maybe... there is hope everyone! You can defeat this BS mother F^&ker drug, sorry for the anger but it really still pisses me off that my doc put me on this telling me it was non-addictive. Yeah, and she knew I had addiction issues.

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by rabbithole, Jul 22, 2011
Btw, did anyone notice my comment about the pharmacy? The 7 tramadol pills in my trazadone bottle on my 7th day of recovery?? Thought that was crazy but went back to the pharmacy yesterday, they refunded my copay and covered 2 future copays, little did they know they could have thrown me back into full withdrawal.

Lindalistless, you are doing well, glad you are hanging in there, keep yourself busy. Do you like to read or play games? Anything that can keep your mind occupied during the worst of it. Reading has been my savior. I can always get lost in a book, it has been my savior since childhood I would say. Hope you have a good weekend and I am so happy for your success.

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by rabbithole, Jul 22, 2011
Worriedandinpain, hope you get some relief soon! I have been there. Stay away from the trams, they DO NOT help with headaches. While I was taking trams I would get the most horrific headaches of my life. Just excruciating. I have not had one single headache off the trams. I had a few on the trams that almost sent me to the hospital because I fainted. Makes me wonder how much I have damaged my poor brain.
Sending healing thoughts your way and healing thoughts to everyone here. We deserve better than this toxic, damaging crap we call tramadol.

Avatar universal
by kaz47, Jul 22, 2011
Hello everyone - just dropped in to say hello - so pleased that many newcomers have found their way here and that you are receiving the support you need to stay strong and get off this very addictive medication. My husband is now 193 days off this drug - in January when he stopped taking Tramadol we were totally ignorant as to what the effects would be - if we had known he would certainly not have quit CT but have tapered off the drug - saying that compared to many his dosage was relatively small but over a 3 year period so a 'slow taper' wouldn't have been particularly practical either. However you get through this congratulate yourselves that you ARE DOING IT! January seems so far away, yet at the time it seemed as though we were never going to get where we are today - yet here we are! Sooooooooooooo you will also get here - just persevere and read these journals and ask questions - there is so much information here and so many SURVIVORS from all over the world who have all been through what you are going through - they have done it and so will you! My husbands back pain hasn't magically disappeared but it is so much better - and it is manageable without Tramadol - he was using it as a crutch and honestly got to the point where he thought he couldn't cope without it - it does mess around with your thought processes  - but he can - in fact he hasn't looked or felt as good for years!

Worriedandinpain - my heart goes out to you - whilst on Tramadol my husband suffered some horrendous migraines - to the point that on a couple of occasions he was carted off to the hospital because the doctor was so concerned - however at no time did any of the medical staff connect the headaches with the medication - in fact on one occasion the hospital staff actualy gave him Trams to 'offset the pain'!!!!! We think that there was a connection but have no way of proving this Hopefully you will also find that your situation will improve with time - you have probably already looked at your diet and made any connections between headaches and what you are eating but when you are feeling better it might be worth revisiting this if the headaches continue - just a thought..Hopefully the longer you are off Tramadol the situation will improve - everyone's experience is different.

Nora - well done to you and your husband on his new job! You both so deserve some good luck and we are so very pleased for you. I remember telling you good things do happen to good people and am glad I have been proved right - yours is the second piece of good news I have had today and this has put a huge smile on my face - again, fabulous news!

Rain - hope your teeth are sorted and are not giving you problems - you had a glitch but you are strong enough to admit it and move forward - however much it rains (padon the play on words!) on you, you get up, shake yourself off and get going - your positive attitude is inspirational and I love it - keep smiling (dodgey teeth and all!)

Ullr - great news that things are looking up - I knew you would do it! Will play my Aha CD later in honour of our Norwegian friend!

Myfreedom, Steph, Madtram, Damtram and the rest of you who were with us through the dark, dark days of winter - thank you one and all and we hope the sun is shining on you in your part of the world - we think of you and hope all is well.

To all friends old and new - hang in there - you CAN do this and a few days/weeks/months down the road you will be so glad you have persevered. Love and respect as always and bon courage! x

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 22, 2011
Rabbithole- 36hrs of the most horrendeous withdrawel then at 12:30 today started to feel I had been reborn. I know this might sound crazy, but for the first time in 5yrs the fog lifted!!! Was so happy I was crying. colors were actually more vivid. Im so thankful to those who encouraged me. I know I can make it now. I want to live in that clarity!!!! I know its not over... But it was my first taste of freedom! So worth it. Been feeling some sx coming back but hopfully now I can try reading and some games. Much love and respect to all of you...

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 23, 2011
Its now been 48hrs. Havent gone back into bad w/ds. Feeling pretty jittery and no sleep yet.. Hopefully the worst is already behind me....

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 23, 2011
Had bad day . Regular sxs plus horrible migrain. Total 2hrs sleep since wednesday. Still So looking for better days.

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by rabbithole, Jul 24, 2011
It will all be over soon Lindalistless! Hang in there, you will be so glad you did.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 24, 2011
"It will all be over soon.) Thank you so very much for those words. Its the hope that keeps me going....

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by james22778, Jul 24, 2011
good luck to you

Avatar universal
by lostintramnation, Jul 25, 2011
We all go through the same hellish experiences once we have decided to go cold turkey. It does get better, the further out we get. But tramadol has long term effects that don't go away once the withdrawal symptoms abate. Just letting everyone know...or reminding you of earlier posts here. I had an immune system crash at 4 weeks out, maybe partly because I was treating my withdrawals with too much wine. I came down with a horrendous cold and bronchitis which then turned into pleurisy. For me, tramadol had actually conferred a stronger immune system: I didn't have a cold for 6 years while I was using it. I'm just saying.... my period of tramadol addiction was not all a hellish nightmare. BUT it is better to have your feet on the ground, and your head out of the clouds, no matter how much pain that involves. I was also able to keep my weight down. Now, I am fat, sick and prone to fatigue. But still, it is better to be 100% alive than addicted to tramadol. Life must go on, and recovery is not all over after the withdrawals. Posts here by others still recount fatigue, depression, a sense of blahness. It is a journey, this process. One that is ongoing. I am now ten weeks out. I will not relapse. Now, the task is to remake life where it left off six years ago.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 25, 2011
James- thank you for your well wishes.took a step back today, but still confident. It always helps to have people on your side.  Lostintramnation- thank you for you honesty. I to did not have a cold in the 5yrs I took tramadol. Very sorry to hear what has happened to your immune system, hoping it well continue to improve. From everything I have read in the past seven months of my taper our nerveous systems do heal but it takes time. Everyone of us is different. I have read of people that where completely back to there old selves within two months. I have also heard of people where there recovery took 7yrs. And they were still able to pinpoint the day they totally felt recovered. We all need to remember that there are many people who will not be looking to find help on these forums because their time of recovery was easyier they had no need. That being said you are oh so right when you say "it is better to have your feet on the ground, and be 100% alive." Your declaration that you willnot relapse. Is both courageous and inspirational. I will follow you in complete hope for total recovery of our lives! Wow, ten weeks, cant wait to get there:)

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by rabbithole, Jul 26, 2011
Tramadol did something very odd to my immune system. All kinds of odd things happened. I didn't have a lot of colds but my skin became very fragile and I think the reason we get a cold is because our immune system is reacting to something. I experienced a lot of things that told me my immune system was not reacting which is probably why I wasn't get a all. This means your body is being permanently damaged by whatever the virus or bacteria that normally causes the "cold' reaction. Maybe that is why when my doctor did surgery in May all my organs were bleeding to the touch, which is *not normal* to say the least. My skin also became extremely fragile, I could go on. Glad you are hanging in there Linda and lost. I am having a really bad day today. I am not sure what day I am on now but I have had a lot of good days and then suddenly a really bad day pops up, brain zaps and all?? I am so ready for this awful day to be over. Feel better all!

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by rabbithole, Jul 26, 2011
I think I must be day 14? Not sure, gotta check my tracker and report back.

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by rabbithole, Jul 26, 2011
day 15, almost complete. Stay strong!

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by james22778, Jul 26, 2011
hey their good luck to all of you i have been fighting this for almost two years now off and on and off and on but seems to be more on lately than off its hard to just quit it i personally cant stand the  no sleeping and the anxiety i can live with the rest of them but as many times i have quit only to go back again i should have my head examined but good luck to everyone i am on a taper plan now so maybe this will be better for me than the cold turkey as i have done several times but not by my own choice i ran out have a great nite

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 27, 2011
Rabbithole~ So very sorry to hear about another bad day. I know we will all be seeing brighter ones soon as we're done healing. Whenever that is? Hang in there you really are doing great.
James~ Sometimes tapering is the way to go. I did it for 7 months before I went c/t. We need to do whatever it takes to get our lives back. And  not this rule us. Think of the creativity, memory, comprehension, emotion, zeal for life we have lost not to mention our brains being in a constant fog. Sometimes we can be in that fog so long we are numb to life. Well those of us here are done with all that. I am now on day six jumping off after a long taper. Im NEVER, NEVER, NEVER going back. I usually never say never. But this one time I WILL make an exception. This journey may or maynot take a long while, but one thing I know for sure is im in for the long haul. Thinking of you all on your journeys. Be kind to yourself, and remember, there is an end. You will be yourself again....

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by NoraTorious, Jul 27, 2011
It is a rough journey, and it is different for everyone. Some people recover quicker than others.

My problem right now is mental. I am still full of anxiety. And I am still super weak. I am doing laundry and the thought of putting the sheets on the bed wears me out. But I am trying to do more.

Has any one heard from ULLR? I am certain he lives in Norway, and I hope he's okay.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 27, 2011
Just checking back in. had my best day yet yesterday, day 6. Starting last night around midnight was a downhill spiral. It is now almost 8pm on day 7, and still suffering. What really keeps me going are those times in between when I start to feel that old clarity. I cant believe im really off this stuff for good!! Even in this pain it is soooooo worth it!! Rabithole, im rooting for you. You have enspired me. Im much older than you, my husband and I have raised 4 children all grown and have thier own lifes now.  I think you are doing the most important thing you could do for your child right  now. Doing thiss with a small child iyour home so brave, a and you are doing great. Im so sorry you are having to go through this at this time in your life. But I can tell you this, your daughter has the most incredible mom. This is really the only move you could have made being the mother you are. My hats off to you. So hoping things are better today for you. Let me know your energy level starts coming back consistantly. Today I've been hanging out in bed. Just to walk to the restroom feels like I'm walking through quiksand while being pulled down. Hey were done with tram its all worth it...

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by ullr, Jul 28, 2011
Yes, I'm OK.
(Tramadol addiction is quite unimportant now.)

I live not far from Utøya, where the shooting took place. It all seems still quite unreal and of course, completely unimaginable grotesque, but it goes slowly up to us what happened.
Have pretty much read and watched news the recent days ...

Glad my kids are not in Norway right now.

What tramadol concerns things go the right way! I do not use Oxazepam any more. (no other pills than my blood presure tabs)

I feel MUCH better! Sleep well. More energy. Etc!
Has still some stomach problems ...

I wish all new and old good luck! You can do this if you want..

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by rabbithole, Jul 28, 2011
Thanks Lindalistless. I really appreciate all the support. I think the biggest challenge now is the guilt and also the isses with my husband. He does not have any concept of what I am going through and I feel like our trust is so damaged now after the way I behaved on the tramadol. He is angry and I am desperate for kindness,  and I am not getting it. I am not sure what to do. I have had something like the flu..just. for the last few days, coughing, fever, zero energy. The last few days I have been very, very depressed, feeling like no one cares and my daughter would probably be better off without me. I will not go back to using tramadol and if I ever did I would take a fatal dose to save everyone the trouble.

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by rabbithole, Jul 28, 2011
Glad to hear that you are ok Ullr and so sorry for what happened in Norway.  There are really no words...

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 28, 2011
Rabbithole- I'm so sorry for how things are working out right now. But even though these things are really happening in your life, we both know it is the w/d from tram that is making you feel the way you feel now. At times like these we need to learn to be good neuturers of ourselves. Be gentle with yourself. Remember you need to focus on yourself now more than ever. Once you are recovered enough, you can focus on those more pressing issues with your family. You have come way to far. I am so looking forward to making it to full recovery with you. I have often spoken with my husband about not really understanding how devastating this all is . How in the world can I expect others to understand. The bottom line is while it would be great if everyone could be understanding and supportive, that can not be what makes or breaks us. Your family will make it, but not without you. Everything I have read about you shows how determine you are to have your life back. I am convinced we have forgotten how our mind used to work before this demon got ahold of us. Give yourself a chance to get there. I think the both of us will be very surprised. I'm praying for you. Be strong for you first...

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by rabbithole, Jul 28, 2011
Thanks Linda, I think my mind is truly struggling today, coupled with the flu...its really hard. I know that I will survive, thanks for helping because your kind words really do help. I am looking forward to getting through this with you as well. Congrats on th6 days Linda, thats huge! Seems like you are starting to have good days now, they will come more and more.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 28, 2011
I guess good days are relitive now. Right now all I can call them " not as bad days ."  I realize this is an ongoing healing process , but can anybody give me tell me how long before they had their first day feeling like their old sellf?  :S

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by james22778, Jul 28, 2011
hey their hang in their rabbit it gets better i know right now it seems like their is no end to this but their is this is what made me fail time and time again i couldn't take the depression and anxiety so i would go back to my old ways just give it time and stay strong keep your mind busy its easy to think how bad i feel and sorry for yourself  when your just sitting around i know i did good luck to you Linda if you find out let me know have a great nite

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by rabbithole, Jul 29, 2011
thanks James, it's all such a roller coaster right now. My brain is definitely reaching for equilibrium and thats no fun journey. I did it to myself and thats that. I have to make the best out of the current situation.

Avatar universal
by newday937, Jul 29, 2011
Check out reverbnation (Icemen).  Someone wrote a song dedicated to Emily Post entitled the same.  Describes the difficulties and long journey it takes to get through this.

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by rainallday, Jul 29, 2011
Thanks Kaz47 for you concerns, It was a glitch and hasnt happened since that night, (knock on wood)...
     Although I still have the abscess it seems in remission..I am back to working out on the bike at night and riding further all the time. My ride last night took an hour and a half.. So at least I'm getting in shape!

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 29, 2011
Day 9.  My body has been totally electrified and in pain for4days straight now. It's waring on me. Newest- where do I find reverbnation? Id like to hear it.

Avatar universal
by newday937, Jul 29, 2011
Type in reverbnation into your search engine and it will take you to the web site and then you'll need to type in Icemen on their search site.  Icemen is the name of the band and it is in parenthesize with the band members name beside it.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Jul 30, 2011
Feeling much better . Was able to get things done around the house. Newday- thanks for the info. Rabbithole- been thinking of you. Hope things are going better for you. Day 10 and still thankful....

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by james22778, Jul 31, 2011
good morning hope everyone has had a great weekend so hot here kinda hard to enjoy

Avatar universal
by newday937, Jul 31, 2011
All of you hang in there.  Everyday it gets better and please know that you will get through this.  Showers lots of showers or soaking in the tub.  Water at times seemed to make me feel normal - it may have been only for a short period of time but it calmed many of the symptoms down.

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by NoraTorious, Jul 31, 2011
Newday-baths and showers saved my life. Also get yourself some good mineral salts. Bath Therapy or Dr Teal's both have high mineral content, and will make you feel better.

For me, I am still weak, and trying to lose weight. Recovery made me quite roly-poly, and I barely fit into my clothes. So I am eating smaller portions, and trying to exercise, which is the hardest for me. Putting my self together and getting up and out of the house is still tough for me.

But my husband has a job (after 8 months of no employment) and I am over 200 days off Tramadol. I start yoga in September, and I am starting a new pain program and therapy (for my depression) program. So things are coming along, good things on the horizon.

All the new people-yes, this is very hard, especially in the beginning -you will get better. You'll count the minutes, the hours, the days, the months, and finally, the years. It may seem crummy now but it does get better.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 01, 2011
Thank you for the encouragement. It all means so much. Sometimes it feels all us newbies ever do is complain. Being in the midst of the more acute symtoms, its hard not to. It is my whole world right now. It's great to be free! Waiting for it to get better.

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by NoraTorious, Aug 01, 2011
Linda, it is TOTALLY ok to kvetch a little. This is some tough stuff. Read my earlier posts, back in January. All I did is whine and moan. I still do sometimes. It's natural -human.

I am so hung up on this weight thing, and I have to say, it is still hard for me to get out of the house as often as I should. And now "Mad Men" is on streaming on Netflix, and that makes me more of a shutin than ever. :/ I used to be so independent, but something with the Tramadol charged me greatly and now it is taking awhile to get me out there. Yesterday was the first time in months that I drove my car, but not alone. I still whine, but I hope for better things

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by rabbithole, Aug 01, 2011
Please don't worry about complaining Linda, thats what we are here for after all is to express ourselves and communicate with each other in order to overcome this confusing, misleading, ridiculous medication. It sounds like you are hanging in there but I know how painful it is. I have been feeling really good for the last 2 days. I see my personality coming back more and more each day and I am completely shocked now realizing how *much* this drug took me out of my body. WHo was that, it wasn't me? Who was taking those pills and feeling numb, not really enjoying a moment of life. My laugh is back in full force, I missed it has been a long time.
Woke up at 430 this morning, my sleep hasn't been great the last few days but thats ok. Its really off and on. I can't believe how much the 5HTP seems to be helping. I take the time release formula.
Nora, I have gained some weight too and I am a very weight conscious person and I feel your pain on that. I can't wait to get the extra weight off. I am starting to exercise again although not as regularly as I did pre-tram. I can't wait to fit in my clothes again.
I feel like I am connecting so much better with my daughter and I enjoy every moment of it. I am handling the difficult moments with her with much more patients. I am *so* thankful, to be back!!!!!!!! I am thankful for my life and I am thankful for another chance!
I hope that recovery is gentle with all of you and you have a great day.

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by rabbithole, Aug 01, 2011
I must be on day 23 by now, I haven't been keeping track, getting close to the 30 day mark. I have to say in the last few days I saw a big improvement! So good things for me around day 20 something.

Avatar universal
by jocr59, Aug 02, 2011
I was only on Tramadol for 2 months due to a knee surgery.  I am now out of my perscription and going crazy!  I cannot sleep!  I have terrible restless legs, in fact my whole body is restless.  I can't lay in bed, or even sit in my recliner because the restlessness makes me feel like I'm going insane!  It is 5:30am and I still haven't gone to sleep!  Any suggestions?

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 02, 2011
Wow, rabbithole so excited for you. Never heard you sound so great. Thank you so much for posting today. These are days we all need to hear about. It fosters so much hope when we're in the foggy painful time. Wishing you blue skies from now on. You deserve it!! Day 12 for me. Still fogged in and sluggish. Was able to make it to the pool yesterday. Forced myself to do 2 laps. Huge accomplishment. YEAH !!  Wishing everyone strength and renewed hope....

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 02, 2011
Jocr59- so sorry to hear you are suffering. Hang in there. Because you haven't been on the tram that long you won't suffer as long. Stick to your guns. You will be so glad you did. Then, NEVER go back. Right now, baths, baths and baths, hot. If you can get to the store today, try hylands restful legs and hylands nerve tablets they are homiopathic and seem to help. Your not alone...

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 02, 2011
Noratorious- we are a lot alike when it come to not going outside or driving. These symtoms are so bizzare. Today I took a walk around the house. Still haven't drove my car in 7 months. I'm sure I will again , soon I hope. Also trying to start exercising. I'm in the same boat very weight concious. But just knew I had enough to worry about untill I  started feeling better. So if anyone knows of a good way to get rid of this extra weight around the middle... I know lots of arobics. At least I'm not alone....wishing everyone strength and hope today.

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by rabbithole, Aug 03, 2011
Linda, so good to hear you are making strides towards feeling better. The fogginess is so hard and it literally is a fogginess, so weird, I actually feel like I can see everything so much more clearly now, visually and in every other way. I have good and bad days, it is so random! I have also had the stay home not want to go out thing for the last year of taking tramadol, it wasn't so bad at first. But it seems like it slowly started happening and I am slowly coming out of that too, baby steps. I agree, the symptoms related to the withdrawal and taking from this drug are very bizarre indeed.

I had a great night's sleep last night and good energy level yesterday and today. I can see improvements every day and that is encouraging. I still notice that hollow feeling in my nerves from time to time, like right now. It is accompanied by something that I can only describe as a *hot flash*.

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by rabbithole, Aug 03, 2011
Jocr-hang in there, I promise you will be feeling better soon. Whatever you do, don't make the mistake I did of getting more tramadol the first time I started to go through the withdrawal, which was about 2 years ago. You will be so thankful if you walk away from this horrible drug and never look back.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 03, 2011
Very lathargic today, day14. Have cement in my legs and arms . Those of you who might be struggling right now go back and read  post from Dec 2010 and Jan.  They will be a big help they have been for me. So glad things are improving for you rabbithole. Even though its slow. From the posts I've been reading it seems there will be a big improvement around day 20. I know for those of you on the first few days that seems like a long time. I can't believe I am at the 2 week mark. So very thankful. We all have something to be proud of. Jocr- hope you are hanging in  today praying things will get better for you soon. I promise, you wont regret it.

Avatar universal
by TramadolSteve, Aug 04, 2011
I have been addicted to Tramadol for the past year and a half, taking between 200mg upto 800mg everyday. I want to come of of them but the wd is to much for me to deal with. Also I started taking Tramadolto stop my alcoholism and it worked, I dont drink anymore but I am frightened that if i stop taking the Tramadol I will start drinking again. I am looking for guidance and help/advice.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 04, 2011
Been in a deep dark hole last couple days. Worst since the beginning. Just now flushed 150 tamadol. Was going to save them for someone who might need to taper. Now I'm thinking that would be a dumb move. Still on my way ....Hi Steve- Tramadol works on the receptors in your brain in the same way alcohol does. I'm afraid you just traded one for the other. That's why it helped you. But believe me and everybody else on hear, tramadol is not your friend. There is absolutely no way around the w/ds but through. Now, w/d vary with each individual. Yours might not be Sahara as someone else's or as long . Because tramadol has a small amount of anti- depessant in it the withdrawels are not the some as a regular opiod.  I took tramadol prescibed for Restless leg syndrom, for 5 yrs (800mg) per day. It very literally stole my life slowly. It numbed everything about my life my mind , emotions , laughter, creativity, senses ( taste, touch, sight, hearing, smell) This does happen to everyone who uses tramadol!! Unfortunately you don't realize to what extent until you start to recover. AA can help you with alcoholism. But because the fda doesn't acknowledge there being a problem with tramadol there is very liittle help. Except from on these forums or a Dr. Who has become knowledgable on the effects of this drug. Do what ever it is you need to do to get off this drug ASAP. You will never regret it . You will have your life back. The Dr that prescribed tramadol for alcohol w/d probably meant well. Not realizing, because he wasn't given the information. Hard to believe huh? Well believe or study it for youseff, we all did. Because we had to. I'm so sorry your having to go through this. But on the bright side, your finding out relatively soon in your addiction. Please don't waste anymore time. You can do this. We are behind you. I'll be praying for you...

Avatar universal
by Petermac, Aug 04, 2011
  Aug. 1 was my one year anniversary. I had been seriously addicted to tramadol for four years, took it every day, had to have it. Had gotten up to an average of 9 pills a day near the end. Withdrawal was the hardest experience of my 51 years
On this Earth, I won't lie or try to minimize this because it had a purpose. I dont want to go through that again,
  So to anyone that is in the place I was a year ago, find a bullet to bite on and take 9 days off from life, you'll need it.
But remember, it can be done, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 04, 2011
Petermac~ thanks so much for chiming in. We need more of that kind of encouragement on this forum right now. Things have been pretty slow. I guess its the summer slump. We're missing all our veteran tram warriors. Thanks for spreading the hope.  Day 15 for me and and for some reason sxs have come back last couple days with a vengence.. we need to be reminded life returns to normal eventually...

Avatar universal
by TramadolSteve, Aug 05, 2011
When I was drinking I couldnt get out of bed couldnt go outside, the only life I had was when i was so drunk that I had blacked out, i would then roam about doing all kinds of crasy stuff. Waking up covered in bruises in strange places and much worse.

So for me the Tramadol is a 'better addiction. I am an artist and it hasnt interfered with my abilities, infact it has helped them. When I am on the Tramadol the adverse effects are minima. A jittery sensation in the back of the neck when I lie down, But when i was drinking I couldnt sleep unless I was blind drunk. Before I was an alcoholic I was a practioner of Buddhist meditation. Since being on the tramadol I have been able to meditate again. This counteracts the jitters and I have no problems getting to sleep. Other effects are that it shortens my breath and stamina levelsI but again when I was drinking I would smoke 40 ciggarettes a day to acompany the booze, now I dont smoke. The Best thing abbout it is I just don't want to drink on it and I feel a lot more relaxed.

I have tried, for ten years, every possible thing you could think of to help with the alcohol, inc AA and none of it helped.

The Doctor did not prescribe me Tramadol. I stole my mothers supply. I now live in Thailand and here you can buy it over the counter.

It was always my dream to live in Thailand and be a practicing artist and Buddhist. Now because of the Tramadol my dreams are coming true.I live on a tropical Island next to the beach and my parenrts are moving out soon to help me set up my own business.

My life is complete...Except for the Tramadol... I know it is bad and I know that it will start getting worse, I know that my sytem will start shutting down if I don't get off the stuff and I know I will lose everything I have worked for.

I am going to try and increase the time between doses and then slowly reduce the dose. Has anybody tried this? Are there any better ways? Cold Turkey is a no no. I have tried six times now and It is counter preductive because I end up running to the stuff and taking more! I suppose being in Thailand it's worse because if you run out you can just go to the pharmacy and buy some more!!

I have had problems with addiction: marijuana, , amphetimines, alcohol. And I have been passing the addiction around so to speak and have ended on Tramadol. I Have seen friends and family members die of Heroin addiction and others destroy their health to the point of them being retarded. In a lot of ways I have succeeded compared to the folks where I come from I would be considered a model of good health. They would laugh at me if I told them I was addicted to Tramadol, they use the stuff like paracetamol.

But I want to succeed further! Please help me get of this, hopefully, last step on my journey to sonriety!

Respect, love and genuine eargerness to take your advice and put it into action.


Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 05, 2011
Steve I believe now after everything you have been through, you are on the right track. You can do this. Tapering is probably a better choice for you. You sound determind. Don't give up until you have your life completely back. Read back in these posts to Dec2010 there is a lot of great tapering info and supliment help. Taper down on your pills at your own pace. Always allow your body to adjust wether it is days or weeks. It is different for everybody. I started at 800mg a day, tapered down to 100mg over 7months. Then jumped off. Tapering even for that long was pretty hard on me. Which is why I decided to go c/t at 100mg. It's been 16 days now. Tough w/ds come and go and probably will for a while. But the excitement of gaining my life back far far out ways any suffering. It's not easy no mater how you decide to go. But oh the rewards. You think you are doing good on the tramadol compared to the alcohol.  My friend the tramadol is decieving you and wants to keep you. If you only new what awaits you on the other side.  You deserve real life. You said you are an artist. Your passion for your art will explode once you have your life back. This is very doable for you. you've come a long way. It's right at your finger tips. Don't let fear stop you. Wishing you all the best and our support....

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 05, 2011
Rabbithole thinking of you. Hope all is well:)

Avatar universal
by TramadolSteve, Aug 05, 2011
Ok so I jumped straight into halfing my dose today, 200mg at 1pm then 200mg at 10pm. was tough because I normally take 200mg at least 3 times but usualy 4 times a day.

The withdrawal from this stuff is so wierd! I have come off Alcohol, amphetimines, LSD, Pyscilsybin, Cocaine and Crystal meth. HA, I am not joking! this is worse than all of them! Dont get me wrong coming off that stuff, especially the crystal meth, was pretty intense and very mentaly challenging. But with all of them you are kinda out of it until its nearly over, with tramadol you are wide awake and able to think about what is happening. There is just something horrible about this stuff that I cant describe, like hot and cold pangs, internal organs feel like they have all got cramp, bowels feel strange. But the worst is this strange wave of ...of...I just can't explain... it.... it's like shocks in the nervous system, very strange. Strange taste in my mouth, intense jittering in neck. Head ache, restless. the 10pm dose is kicking in and has stopped a lot of the sensations but still hot and cold and have headache.

will cut to two doses of 150mg tomorrow, then two doses of 100mg on Monday, I intend to stick to two doses of 100mg for 1 week then half that to two doses of 50mg a day for the next week, then will cut to 50mg a day for a week, then I will stop altogether. WISH ME LUCK!

Avatar universal
by Lindalistless, Aug 05, 2011
Hoping your taper is not too aggressive Steve. But I am wishing you all the best. If you need to function at all through this you can always slow down your taper. Your right this is like nothing out there. there symtoms you have described are pretty classic. But there are more. The tricky part is just when you think they are going away, they come back. Also the length of w/de are similar to benzos. Could take months. They do get progressively better as a whole. Sound like your determined. Hang in there....

Avatar universal
by TramadolSteve, Aug 06, 2011
I managed to do from 10pm last night until 4:30pm today without taking any. I didnt actually feel that bad and didnt really want to take any but I took 200mg at 4:30 anyway now i feel queezy and realy dizzy because of the tramadol.
I remember the last time i tried to go CT though that it took about 30 hours before the withdrawal fully kicked in.

I mean it's hopeless when the actual effects are making you feel sick and then when you try and come of it you feel sick too. What a nightmare! hahaha oh well only myself to blame, we all die one day, some people are dying of starvation. Could be worse.

I can endure this pain and discomfort easily. Its just like being on a really crappy roller coaster...Constantly (but please God no more no more!)

What I have found helps is the following:
continuous water
10 sugar cubes sucked like candy (the brain loves this but your pancreas won't) seems to stop everything for about two hours.
Porridge, (force fed), seems to help digestion by filling up intestines and giving them somthing to work with.
Getting out of the house no matter what and proving to myself that people are nice.
Swimming in the sea
Lying down with a fan on me and a wet towel on my head
Reading about people who are suffering worse than me
Using affirmations
Listening to inspiring and motivational speakers
Setting Goals for other stuff
When I cant sleep watching movies and doing something creative
When I hear myself complaining ignoring myself
Not blaming the tramadol or anybody else, taking full responsability, then dont feel like victim.
Seeing this as a definite part of my life, not something that wasn't supposed to happen, everything happens for a reason we are going through this for some greater and definite purpose, trying to find the purpose helps. For me I am thankful for this because a) it has helped my alcoholism, (b) it is teaching me to value simple things : I wish I could just be sober and bored! (c) It is teaching me patience (d)  It is forcing me to stop thinking about myself, because when I do the pain increases, (e) It is forcing me to have compassion for others who are suffering the same and worse. (f) It is forcing me to accept that I am not alone and other people are suffering the exact same thing.(g) It has led me to this forum. (It is focusing me and helping decide what I truly want out of life.

Now feel really dizzy.


544292 tn?1268882668
by EmilyPost, Aug 06, 2011
Good morning Lovelies

This thread is closed. Please come to part 46

Avatar universal
by TRAMMAN999, Aug 13, 2011
An Entry from my tracker journel :
All that hard work and suffering -  and days behind me  !!
Was soooo down, sore and extremely miserable. Knew that if I took 2x50mg would make a difference. And, of course, it did. Had some semblance of being alive. BUT >>>>.... dad   di da    di da   !
Even from 200 (after being off) tried without this morning   -  and I dived into "misery" with symptoms. God, I must be extremely sensitive to this stuff.
What to do now is the question. The thought of more days of extreme misery after just going through it !!!???
Of course it was apparent to those around me     ..................    and war broke out yet again. That part really hurts me deep down. What a stupid weakling I am. (knowing what the consequences would be !?

Avatar universal
by Indira76, Mar 05, 2014
Hello everyone,
I am new to this page but I am shocked that so many other people suffered what I suffered from taking this medication. I honestly felt like I was going crazy while taking it and feared that I could never stop taking it because the withdrawals were so intense. I am having problems communiting since taking this medication. Has anyone else been diagnosed with aphasia? Basically what happens is that I know what I want to say but the wrong word comes out of my mouth. For example I want to tell my kids to go brush their teeth and instead I say go to bed. Its an awful feeling to not be able to say what you mean to say.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

544292 tn?1268882668
by EmilyPost, Mar 05, 2014
Hi Indira

this is the current thread ... if you copy and paste your message someone will reply ....  This thread is from 2011 ....

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