All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

hydrocodone detox

Apr 28, 2011 - 36 comments
Tags:

hydrocodone detox



I am not even thru my first 24 hours and I really dont think I can do this.  I just need someone to give me some advice.  I cant tell anyone close to me....and I definately cant go thru a detox program.  My life is just a mess and I want my normal, whatever that is life back.  Been on lortab for well over 8 years.  I just dont know what to do anymore.  Running out of options

Comments
Post a Comment
1673459 tn?1304001447
by kgoehring, Apr 28, 2011
You can do anything by the grace of God you are right you dont need a detox program or a 12 step program you need to ask god to help you through this and its not going to be easy because you have damaged your body which he blessed you with but trust me on this you can do it 15 years i thought the same way but not anymore turn to god he will see you through anything and when you get that urge pray ask him to take it away and he will.  Good Luck and God Bless You

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
Thank you so much for replying to me. I am trying, I am trying really hard and yes have been praying.  This is just so hard.  I cant sleep, eat, think, anything.  Shakin, sweating...well you are familiar with this. I am just so lost here.  Very lost.  I just dont know how I am going try to function normally during this time.  I know in the end it will be better   but I am so tempted to just run get some but I cant and I wont.  I have to do this.  I want my life back.  Again, thank you for you kind words and God Bless You.....

Avatar universal
by pillsnomore, Apr 28, 2011
Hi... This IS one of the HARDEST things you will EVER have to do!!! But yes if its something you absoultely want you can do it.... The W/D do stink, behond words.. But is SO WORTH it in the end! Just think of having to get through some ruff days to be able to get your life back! ONce you get past this hump you will then say 'why didn't i do this a long time ago'!!!!!! Your mind is already in the right place for not wanting to get or take any!!! Just keep your head held high, and know your doing this, this is what you want!!! And YOU WILL GET IT =)

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
^^^Listen to her.^^^  100% on.  It's hell now but SO WORTH IT.  The world is soooo much clearer now.

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
And I'm being 100% serious but comb through this site.  I used to read for hours.  It's comforting to know what others went through, what lies ahead in your detox, and what is at the end of the tunnel.  I was on vikes for 10 years so I know EXACTLY what you are going through.  Another thing that helped me, listen to music.  Try to picture yourself in a song and play it OVER and OVER.  It's in your mind man...only in your mind.  Your heart is sooooo much stronger than your mind.  Run with it and never look back.  I now look at my 2 year old and feel like crying for her entire existence, her Dad was high and was looking at her through a fog.  Now way to live....We have your back.  Need to talk???  Keep posting.  Every minute is a miracle.  Small steps!!!!

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
oh my, thank you for answering me.  I have been on here all morning....I just keeping wondering how am i going  to do this.  I go from taking 6-8 lortab tens a day to nothing...cold turkey....I want my life back so badly but I am so miseable right now I just dont know what to do.  I am miserable on them....been on them for ten years and miseralbe without.  I actually lost my children over this.  The two days i went to court thinking they will never get my kids from me because  I have been there primary caregiver for 13 and 15 years.  Well I was such a mess i took over 50 lortabs in that two day custody battle. When it came time for me to testify i was so numb, showed no emotion at all.  Five months after the hearing i get a letter that the judge has decided to give ex and his new wife full sole custody.  They had pharmacy records, doctors reports...it was a high proflile case in our small community.  Needless to say that was 8 month ago. In August I have the chance to get them back but I have to be right, perfectly right mind, body and soul.  I realize what these pills have one to me.  I have ditched all my friends....I can barely even attend my kids ball games with or without the tabs.  I am just so lost right now.... JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO....Thank you again for answering me.....

Avatar universal
by pillsnomore, Apr 28, 2011
Well there you go.... You said it!!! In August you can have your life back!!!! The most important part of it!!! YOUR CHILDREN are the NUMBER 1 reason for doing this....  If thats not the best reason in the world, I don't know what is =))


1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
As I read through these i just sit and bawl.....this is so hard.......i have to do this, i have to but i know that this is just the beginning of how badly I am feeling.  I thought about trying the The Thomas Recipe but it includes taking benzos and then  i would be in same boat.  I am just so lost right now.....keep thinking about the mess i have made of my life, all the holidays, family and school functions i have missed or been so messed up dont remember..  I just want my life back but ths withdrawling part is so completely horrid......either in bed or bathroom.  Can barely let the dog out.  Thanks you so much for listening to me....i am just so scared.  I am completely overwhelmed.

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
and the thing about this....no one knows.  Everyone thinks i quit when I lost my kids....right now pulling the flu thing to my mom and boyfriend.  Cant keep that up tho.......this is getting worse.   I wont even hit the 24 hour mark until midnight tonight but had tapered back a bit this week so dts had already started.  I dont mean to ramble I am just such a mess right now and this is the one place I found to turn to for help.  I am just very confused at the moment if that makes sense.

Avatar universal
by pillsnomore, Apr 28, 2011
You know how i looked at it which made it all that much easier? I thought to myself for all the pain and suffering i put my family and friends through, the WD's were the least I could go through!!!! With that state of mind it helped me through the worst that much more =)

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
that is good girl.....i wish i wouldve found this site a long time ago.  I have done so much to my friends and family over this addiction when I get through this I cant wait to really show them the OLD NEW ME AGAIN.  Thank you so much for ur advice.  

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
Of course that makes sense.  It's a NASTY drug and destroys your way of thinking.  It suppresses ALL of you emotions.  Be prepared to start crying like a baby.  It's all part of the process.  Do not sit around and think...you will drive yourself NUTS!  FORCE YOURSELF TO DO SOMETHING constructive...go work out, go for a run, do something!!!  You are doing the right thing...we can all promise you that.  It's not easy but the reward is soooo great.  

Avatar universal
by holagirl907, Apr 28, 2011
I felt the same way you did yesterday....just miserable.  Today is day 2 for me.  Although it is no picnic, it is a lot better than yesterday.  I took opiates for 20 years and quit cold turkey yesterday.

Just stay on here, and take everyone's advice.  I am doing it without the benzo's too.  I bought all the other things and drinking the water and excercise really help.  I am having to work this time.  Last time I stayed home in bed for 2 days, and I actually think it is easier coming to work.  You don't focus on it so much.

Hang in there!  You can do this.


Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
And watch that pillsnomore character...she's a bit shady =D  I kid....she helped me a TON to get through my WDs.  Pretty sure I would be back on them if it wasn't for her support.  She was a great find!  =D

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
thank you all so much...i will be on here a lot...i dont work....tried and couldnt go to work if i didnt have pills so right now i am just trying to function.  Actually doing good to type.......and to you...thebigeasy...i agree about pillsnomore...i told her God sent her to me.......I am going to be leaning on you guys quite a bit....just dont leave me...lol

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
Glad someone finally agrees with me that pillsnomore is shady!!!!  =D

No one is going to leave you or anyone for that matter.  Like it or not, we're all addicts.  For most of us, it was a trip to the drs because of a legitimate injury.  It's not our faults that the drug loses it effects and we become immune to weaker doses and dependent on it for our everyday activities.  The hardest part is having to relearn how to live again...without the devil.  As I told pillsnomore when we were WD, after each day, go reward yourself.  Go buy something, go for a massage, or just reconnect with a family member you may have lost during this evil addiction.  Don't feel like a coward because you're an addict, feel proud you recognized the problem and that you're fixing it.  Keep that head up!!!

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
all i can say is thank you, thank you so much.....right now all i can do is cry......I stared taking lortabs for a tumor in my knee and from there now i have digenerative disc disease,spurs on my back and 4 herniated discs.  Yes if i wanted to I could run to dr and get more but I dont want to anymore.   I just want to be normal again.  I dont even know what that is.  I have shut everyone out of my life and when my kids to come over i am so unsocial.....i just cant believe i have been doing this for over 8 years now.  So many times wanted to quit but i can never get thru the withdrawal part that is why i got on the interent this morning and found this sight.  This is the time I can do it....i have some very good help on here its just the wd are just so overwhelming right now its all i can think of, well that and how badly i have screwed up.

1671720 tn?1304122614
by stonecoldwwe, Apr 28, 2011
Hey,

I just wanted to tell you if I can get through the first 3 days (hardest for me) YOU CAN TOO!!

Today I'm 5 days without Hydro. I was taking an average of 6 per day (10/650) for appox 12yrs (yeah, a long time).
I felt the same way about my life. I used to be this great Mom, wife, daughter, sister, sister in law and friend. When I first took them I could do anything, ALL DAY!! Then after awhile I began to get very LAZY, no emotions, just COLD!! Therefore, I begin trying to get that same feeling I had in the beginning, but it NEVER happened!! Took me 12 YEARS TO FIGURE THAT OUT!!

Sunday night I was a total wreck because I knew the next morning I had NO MORE to take before I ever crawled out of bed!! I was a TRAIN WRECK!! But I found this site and started asking questions. Found some AMAZING PEOPLE that were or had gone thru the same thing.

If not for all the incouragement and having great people to talk to I probably would have not made it past day 2.
Trust me, I know you don't want to hear this but the first 3 days were the hardest for me. I was so SCARED!! I started taking Immodium and that helped ALOT, but I tried to only take a little so my body could get rid of all the toxins.

I know I'm only 5 days in but I PROMISE you I didn't think I would be able to function and HERE I AM!!! I am soo EXCITED that I'm truly on my way.
I just look at my daughter and that's all I need to KEEP GOING!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!



Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
Deanna....we ALL screwed up but it's not your fault.  This is a side effect of the drug.  It KILLS your emotions.  It sounds like your emotions are starting to come back.  Be prepared for everything to look brighter, flowers smell sooo much better, and the relationships in your life take a turn for the best.  The best thing I did was talk to a few of my loved ones and told them what was going on.  It's amazing how much they knew.  They knew I was different and hadn't been the same in 10 years.  I poured my heart out and they were soooo understanding.  After my 14th day of being clean, I took the day to spend with my Dad.  He was always my best friend, my role model, and the person I looked up to the most.  We didn't golf much that day, I couldn't help but cry and ask for his forgiveness as I put a major strain on our relationship.  He came home that day to my mom and said he finally has his son back.  You are making the right decision!!!!!!  You should be very proud.  Do not let these little symptoms get into the way of a better life and a better you.

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
thank you all so much.....i am so so scared.  I cant think, eat, quit crying.....and all I can do is beat myself up for everything that has happened in my life.  You guys have been my life saver today....you really have....everytime i was going to call dr. i got on this site...and screamed for someone to talk to and someone was there.  Its just so hard......I just want to be a normal human being again and am so scared i am never going to get thru the withdrawals.  It has rained for a week here, so thats even more depressing,   I am just rambling idk i think i am going crazy......is craziness and psychoness part of wd....lol

1035252 tn?1427227833
by Ashelen, Apr 28, 2011
Absolutely it is, Deanna. Craziness and psychoness comes with the territory...I don't remember who said it when Iw as reading this site, but someone said that withdrawals are a way of paying the piper for the poison we put in our bodies...and you get out what you put in, so put in a lot of exercise, effort, fluids, and patience and you will get good results from your detox.

and to quote the oh-so-wise gnarly, "you have to be OK with not being OK for a few days"...seriously...try to accept that you will be sick. you will hate life for a few days...but then it will be OVER and you will be FREE!

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
You are going to be normal again..I promise!!!  And EVERYTHING you are now going through...WE went through.  You're not alone.  I'm 6'4" 240# weight lifter...big guy right??  I cried my eyes out for 2 days.  lol  No need to be scared.  You're doing the right thing.  If I am you, go get yourself some tylenol PM or nyquil.  Try it for a few nights so you get a good 8 hours sleep.  The more you sleep...the faster you get through these WDs!!!!  And you need to eat.  I know you have NO appetite but please eat something.  Your body needs to fuel to combat this and start its change to your new life.

1673751 tn?1304032043
by Formerjunkie, Apr 28, 2011
take a hot shower, and once ur water tank is filled and hot take another one and just keeping doing that, it helps alot (helped me alot anyway) with the leg cramps, that and lay in bed dripping in sweat but being cold at the same time was just about what my first day was like, i'm praying for you, talking here with us helps me alot also, its keeping my mind busy, god bless you

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
I just wish it would get dark so i could just shut myself up in the house and try to sleep.....i will have to get some nyquil tomorrow.  I cant go anywhere right now......seriously.......my eyes have this like film over them.  Luckily it has rained here so my sons game is cancelled but and yes i am jumping ahead, my daughter is serving at prom and her boyfriend is up for prom king so i have to get out saturday night and face the world for a bit.  I am freaking out on that too.....how am i going to even act.  I have been on pills so long i dont even know me anymore.  I feel like if i go anywhere everybody is going to be able to tell that something is wrong with me.  

1035252 tn?1427227833
by Ashelen, Apr 28, 2011
You sound just like me...I was terrified of facing my in-laws because they aren't very understanding, and I had to be around them all day every day this past week while I was detoxing...they just thought I was depressed or tired or something, they couldn't tell. I promise you'll find that you can do this...just give your true self a chance

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
That's Saturday!!!  Today is Thursday!!!!  ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!  You are going to feel sooooo much better on Saturday than you do now.  I promise you.  And hey...it's flu season!!!  Nothing wrong with telling a small white lie.  Positive thinking...it works.  Start using it!!!!   Go take a hot bath and get yourself ready for bed.  

Avatar universal
by pillsnomore, Apr 28, 2011
SHADY HUH??????????? lol Im back from a hectic night with the boys!!!! Made it though, and boy did i finally enjoy a school program, I acually was 'present' at =)) How great is that!!!!!

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
I did the hot bath thing, even used lotion and finally managed to get my mop head brushed out.  I feel like I have ran a marathon today.  Now, i let the dog out for her last pottie visit and I am going to watcch my shows on cbs tonight and stay on this sight.  Dont know what else to do.  Honest to God if it was not for the good people that have helped me today my butt wouldve have been in that dr. office.  I have went without before but could always find something for nerves or a friend would loan me a few to get thru.....but this time its different.  I want to be me again.  The money and time i have wasted on those horrid pills just sickens me worse.  Cant even go there......ONE STEP AT A TIME.  

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
lol....ur back....yeah.....i have been going thru hell but there are a lot of great people on here.  I honestly cant remember the last program, dance, ballgame that i have went to straight.  Its been a long time, back when i was a good mom.  I am playing the flu card, it started this afternoon is what i told mom and my b/f.  So i figure i can pull that one off for a few days.  I cant eat.  i tried i had to choke down a cracker....thats just not in the plan yet.  will taking vitamins help?  I thought about trying that in the morning.......I am just so scared.......yes, i think everyone knows that by now....lol.....i just feel so lost and helpless.


Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
Shady is an understatement!!!!  Good to see you again Marvin!

Avatar universal
by TheBigEasy, Apr 28, 2011
Yes...vitamins will help.  I loaded up on vitamin C.  

1671720 tn?1304122614
by stonecoldwwe, Apr 28, 2011
Deanna,

Please please listen to what they're saying. I'm ONLY on day 5 and I feel a lot better (I never imagined).
Energy still a little low but I started taking Nyquil (as someone else suggested) so I could get some sleep. And Imodium for the other, what a HUGE HELP that has been.
Remember, you'll only feel like this for about 3 days (that's what they told me and they were right on the money).

I truly believe if not for this site I stumbled upon I don't know what I would've done the first few days.

Listen to pillsnomore.. she's been an amazing help :)

Avatar universal
by pillsnomore, Apr 28, 2011
Your doing SO WONDERFUL!!! You should be very proud your almost through day 1.... And yes its been years since i was acually 'present' at any function I have attended, and let me tell you how AWESOME it feels to accually be aware of whats going on. Not needing to make sure I had enough meds on me, how i was going to feel!!!! Its such a FREEDOM now!!!!!! Im finally in control and im LOVIN every min of it!!! You will do just fine, I know you will!!! As everyone has said it is hard, super hard but its more then doable!!!!!

And yes vitamins DEF will help right now! Your immune system will be down and weak right now from the stress and shock on your body! You might even find yourself coming down with a bug or what not in the near future.... Im acually still trying to kick this cold I have gotten!!! After all the years of masking everything with the meds, I hadly EVER got sick... Now all of a sudden since flushing my body out of theses nasty toxins I am finding it much easier to get sick!!! And it came with a BAM too..... So yes caring for your body now is more important than ever!! Exercise as much as you can, even if it seems impossible, take those vitamins, drink TONS OF WATER, and eat as much as you possibly can. I know its hard to want to eat anything, but the more you do the more it helps. I found when i ate small frequent meals it gave me some MUCH needed energy........

Well its off to get the boys bathed and tucked in with a bedtime story!!!! I will be on during the day tomorrow!!! KEEP KEEPING THAT HEAD HELD HIGH!!!! YOUR DOING AWESOME =)

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
Oh i know if i wouldnt have found this sight i wouldve done went to the dr.  In less then 4 hours i will hit my 24 hour point.  I know thats not helping but i just want to feel better and yes after listening to everyone i realize its gonna be a few before i do.  I am going to get myself some nyquil tomorrow, i found some vitamin c in the cabinet and i have regular vitamins.  My mind starts racing then I start panicing even thinking about doing this again tomorrow.  Does it get any worse? If it gets much worse i reallly dont know what i am going to do....guess i will do exactly what i did today....you people are truely amazing and have no idea how much you have helped me out.  I feel so lost and alone out here but here you all are, and actually know what I am going thru.  God is listening to me, I think he wants me to never forget this.....and i can guarantee i never will.

1673373 tn?1305659095
by deannalynne85, Apr 28, 2011
thank you so much......from the bottom of my heart.....my b/f just called and is coming over to bring me food for the flu....so i have to get off of this sight and try to act somewhat normal....however I do that.......i will talk to you all in the morning.......and again.....thank you, and a special thanks to pillsnomore, stonecoldwwe and the big easy....you three have really helped me today.....you truely have....i hang on to your every word as i read what you have written.  May God Bless You.

647911 tn?1373314647
by nic374, Apr 28, 2011
I detoxed over several months but when i finally decided to start to wean myself down of the vicodin it was back in august of last year, it is very hard I can for sure relate to that, but this misery will go away one day, Once the hydro's are out of your system I think about 4 days or so, You will continue to have days of feeling good and days of feeling awful. Then one morning you will wake up without pain and your not thinking too much about the painkillers anymore, I think they do make your pain levels worse than they actually are, but it is worth being free from them! Keep up the fight and stay strong it will be ok!

Post a Comment