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Another Speed bump, another delay... such is my life

May 06, 2011 - 36 comments

I should have known things were moving along too perfectly in my life!  I just should have known!  

So, the clinic in Texas(CORM) calls on Wednesday afternoon, and tells me I need to bring $7,500 to my appt on Saturday. Now, mind you, this is after they have been telling me since Feb. that all I will be responsible for is the cost of the transfer.  I have 100% fertility coverage...  The girl couldn't explain why at first... couldn't until last night around 6:00pm.  Seems that they have started a "Embryo Adoption Plan"  that consists of $3500 for legal cost, $2500 for administration fees... and then I must pay $1,700 for the embryo transfer, then submit my account ledger to my insurance to re-imburse me.  Now, mind you, this is 48hrs before we are suppose to leave!!!
I haven't eaten for 2 days, nor have I slept.  I think we are going to just cancel our plane tickets *thank God we bought Southwest!*  and look into other avenues of having the embros transferred to another clinic and doing the FET transfer there.  
I cannot believe this nightmare!  I am just lost beyond words, and I am heartbroken too!  

I did contact the RE here that I absolutely LOVE, and the nurse is going to call me back.  The girl that answers the phone said that they do the transporting and transfers of donated embryos all the time, and would glad to help me!!!
So... I guess when God closes a door he opens a window.  I don't think this should delay us more then 1 cycle or just a couple of weeks.  She also stated that THEY would bill my insurance company : )   and take that off of my plate.

Girls, I really need your support right now!!!!  I mean REALLY!!!  I am heartbroken and on the verge of tears at all times!!


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by melimeli, May 06, 2011
We are here for you and support you!  I know you are heartbroken but know that things happen for a reason and maybeyou weren't meant to travel there.. who knows but you will be a mommy soon and that is the important thing

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by trh0819, May 06, 2011
Oh Melissa.... so sorry to hear about this bump. But that's all it is... a bump in the road. Praying you get the answers you want quickly!

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by Hopeful4aBlessing, May 06, 2011
Melissa, I'm here for you as are other ladies who wish you all of the best! I'm so sorry to hear about this bump in your plan but please remember, when there's a will THERE IS A WAY! Whatever you decide to do, we are all here standing beside you wishing, praying, hoping for the best!!! Hang in there... and keep communicating with them... maybe there's a mislead in the communication and perhaps you will be proceeding and they can bill your insurance co directly... gotta love how they add stress to us WHILE doing such a stressful situation to begin with.... many hugs my dear. Things will work out! Have faith! :) Stephanie

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by mhv, May 06, 2011
Well, they called me back... Here is what they said.  they will bill our insurance company directly, and we can pay the legal portion to morrow of $3,500.  Then we could pay the $2,300 dollars on the date of our transfer.  
Ladies, I know this is a new program for them.  I am trying to be understanding.  But, I just feel like the test bunny during all of this!  I mean, do I think everyone after me will have to pay this same amount? YES, but the point was, they never told me about it!  I am just lost!  I think I have to cancel our trip today.  I just don't know!!!

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by Hopeful4aBlessing, May 06, 2011
If you can swing it financially, it's a shot at having your dreams come true.... however, it's a bit more than a HUGE shock when you find out you need X # of $'s on this day or else... so many people can't swing it that fast... but we can handle it. Hell, we've gone through more emotional turmoil than most people could know just have children... keep in touch at what you decide to do. Many hugs and good luck! :)

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by JennaRie, May 06, 2011
If you went with the RE near you that has dealt with donated embryos before, would you have to pay those extra fees? That would be the deciding factor for me - if I'd have to pay them anyway, I'd go ahead to Texas, but if the other RE won't charge you the extra fees, I'd wait and go with them. Whatever you decide, I hope everything goes smoothly!

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by Hopefulcb, May 06, 2011
Oh Melissa! I can't believe it! You so don't deserve this right now!!! I can't believe they didn't tell you about these fees beforehand. That's just wrong and cruel to tell you that right before you leave!!!! Have you talked with the RE? Usually they have more say and perhaps they can waive the fee since it was totally wrong for them to spring that on you last minute!!
On the other hand, this may speak to the orrganization of that clinic and if they can't do anything maybe it's a sign saying you should be doing it closer to home where it may even be less stressful on you - plus you love the RE which is always a bonus!
No matter what you decide please know that I'm thinking of you and hoping it all works out soon as you really waited long enough for your dream to become a mommy!!

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by LosingMyMindInGA, May 06, 2011
I really really hate it when places do that.  Especially when it's something liket his that means so very much to the patients.  I really hope this RE's office can help you get the embryos moved and you can find a much better clinic.  This may be a blessing in disguise.  If they are doing this now on such short notice God only knows what else they would throw at you last minute.  Best to find somewhere else that is honest and upfront and sticks to the original plan.  Good luck!

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by haz1104, May 06, 2011

Honestly I think u shud cancel and wait one more cycle..y? because if its meant to b it'll happen maybe this is a sign that they're not as good as the OTHER clinic ur going to? maybe its better doing it elsewhere for other reasons?

u shudnt b paying for something that isn't ur fault they shud have told u ahead of time at least
I understand how close u were to fulfilling ur dream of being a mommy and that u might feel crushed right now but look at it from a different angle..maybe God is warning u about something?
I believe in signs and think u shud wait..but it's ur decision of course and we'll all b here for u no matter what u decide to go for!


Avatar universal
by HaYnSweetie, May 06, 2011
I am so sorry! I cant imagine the heartache you are going thru right now. I always tell myself when i feel like things are falling apart that God has a plan for me and not to stress and that God never gives us more than we can handle. I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers! I hope you get your baby soon (:

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by mhv, May 06, 2011
Well guys,  we canceled l and told them we need to do more research.  What's a few more weeks when I've waited a lifetime...right?  We are out the cost of the rental car and hotel... I got them off of priceline, but at least it's only 80 bucks.  
We have a flight to use in the next year  looks like maybe a vacation in my future! haha!

the clinic I love called me back and they do  transfers of adopted embryos.  They only charge you the cost of the transfer and monitoring.  they do not have a "donor embryo package"... so, looks like things my work out anyway! : )
(this is the clinic that jessting went to)...
I will most likely fly to TX, pick up the embryos and bring them back myself.  That way I would have the best care possible for them.

Wish me luck girls!!!

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by haz1104, May 06, 2011

thats great news!

there's always a bright side !! its way better having ur transfer where ur house is I guess...
this way u can relax and not worry about accommodating to new things!

u'll have ur bed, ur room, ur kitchen ur food ur life..etc..

Good luck I really wish u the best cuz u deserve it Mel! :)

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by journey2motherhood, May 06, 2011

I'm so sorry you're having these problems now - what a nightmare.  Don't worry, I know and understand the set-backs, they are very frustrating.  But it looks like you will be able to do this with your own RE and at home where you'll be more comfortable and relaxed too.  Don't stress, this will happen, I know its your time!!

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by mjmom69, May 06, 2011
Oh my, unbelievable! I'm so sorry but you seem to have a good secondary plan going! It will work out. I know how stressful it has been though and to have that kind of news can just send you over the edge! Take it easy this weekend and I'm sure it will work out. You'll probably be happy you are at the new clinic and it wont even matter. You'll be closer to home which is good too! Good luck.

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by hopeitworks, May 06, 2011
Mel- Im so happy that things have been weeded out the best they can at the moment
You have raved about Jesstings clinic for some time. So I feel its the bst choice for you
I mean she is living proof they are fantastic!! So use that airfare, pick up your embies and bring em home!!!!!!

Best of Luck


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by GiGiGiGi, May 06, 2011
You are so right that when a door closes a window opens.  The stars are aligning so you will end up with EXACTLY the baby that you are meant to have, WHEN he is meant to be born... never lose sight of that.  Hang in there!!!  Not long now!!

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by sisi2399, May 06, 2011
Im so sorry to hear all this.  I was not online for a while since Im still trying to recover from the surgery.  Today I sig on and I find this.  Im so sad!!! Im so heartbroken for you too.  I cant believe it.  So late to tell you something like that.  Well my friend, knw I am here for you, praying and praying for you.  Im a little more calm now that I herd you have things under control again.  My heart is with you.  Luv yah!!!!!  

Im so sorry that I waasnt here for you earlier.  My hopes and prayers are with you!!!!!!!!!

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by nichumangel, May 07, 2011
Mel, I cannot believe this crap!!  It astounds me the way people can just toy with peoples emotions, espcially something as delicate as a baby!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyway, like you said, when God closes one door he opens another!  This will happen! You know that!  This baby will be the most loved baby in the entire world, at the end of it all, just make sure you remind him he may not be able to attend college because Mom and Dad had to spend all their money on creating the most wonderful child in the world!  Much luck, it will happen! Love xoxox

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by mhv, May 07, 2011
Thanks Ladies!  I Really appreciate each and everyone of your support!   I will get through this too! : )    I called my best friend yesterday and told her we would be moving the embries from Tx to Oh... She said "let me know when, Girl trip!!"  ha!!!  I have the best friends in the world!  Weither I have met you or not!   I am keeping my $7500-5800 in my pocket! :)  I know the new clinic won't screw me over!  

I talked to my embryo donor, and she feels so bad.  I wish she wouldn't.  This has nothing to do with her!  But, we did figure out that between the 2 of us, they are trying to collect around $35,000!!!  For 1 IVF and 1 FET.... that my friends should be against the law!  I even said.... so, if I only used 2 embryos, and we donated the others... they'd make 7,500 of the next person too?!?!  That just isn't right!!!  I really believe clinic's lose sight of what they are in business for.  Sad, Sad, Sad!!!

Well, I will keep moving forward.  As quickly as possible.  If I need anything... I'll be here asking! haha!


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by Hopefulcb, May 07, 2011
I'm so glad things worked out for you!!!! Yeah it's really sad that they take people's money like that - especially the poor ladies who are already vulnerable and would give up all the money in the world to have a child.

I'm So happy your friend is so supportive and can do the trip with you!!

Sending tons of good vibes your way!!!

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by Eimir, May 07, 2011
Melissa, keep the faith, you've come this far, don't lose sight of the bigger picture , those embryos are just waiting for you, it will just take that bit longer. It will all work out for you , I'm sure of it, it will be better to transfer too when you're less stressed in the future, hang on in there , here for you xxx Eimir

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by Ready_2_be, May 07, 2011
Well I just gor back from vacation yesterday and I have been cuddling both my boys since I got now I read all goodness what a rollercoaster!!!!
I am so glad that you talked to the RE's office in OH and switched everything!!! Can you use the airline ticket that you purchased to go pick up the embryos?
Sometimes things work out for a reason. You were already comfortable with the RE in OH so I think in the sceam of things this will work out much better!!!
I am sorry that you had such an emotional run-around before working it out.

xoxo Renee

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by Sherri90049, May 07, 2011
Oh Melissa! I just saw this post now! What an incredible amount of stress for you! I'm so sorry! But I agree with all the ladies who say that maybe things happen for a reason and you ARE meant to do this with the nice RE who is CLOSE to your home! Hang in there! I'm sure it feels like this is all taking forever, but it won't be long now! We are all here for you and love you! xoxo

Avatar universal
by Kricket212, May 07, 2011
I am just getting caughht up with all of this & want to say how sorry I am.  I am Glad there is a back up plan.  I know everything will work out but as you said, Just a bump in the road... Hang in there Melissa.  XOXO

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by rachjas0623, May 07, 2011
So sorry you are having to deal with this.

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by Moma_Cher, May 08, 2011
How did I miss this???

Wow, I am completely stunned at how SHADY that clinic in Texas is! This is so wrong, and when they called you back to "bargain" with you... That says it all!

I'm so glad you cancelled! They were trying to take advantage of your emotions and get you to give them $$! that is just so unethical in my book! It should be illegal! I will never go to that clinic, that's for sure!

Hang in there, you are right, you've waited this long... It's just a wee bit longer now AND now you won't have to fly after the transfer :0)

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by plumber43, May 08, 2011
Oh Mel, I don't know how I missed this either,how in the world can they all of a sudden take advantage of u in such a delicate state? It doesn't seem legal to spring this on you, you already did the legal and paperwork!
I'm praying for you honey, my donors didn't call me back but I'm not giving up! What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!

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by kris71, May 08, 2011
O.M.G. I just saw your post. I thought i was going to log in and find out about your trip to TX. It's never easy, is it? I'm glad you stuck to your guns tho and didn't go and pay the $7500. That is ridiculous. how can they just spring this on you a day before you're supposed to leave? Like all of us on this board who have struggled and paid thousands and thousands on all this ART, just have an extra $7500 laying around without some advanced notice. I feel so bad for you Mellissa but you know what? You are so strong and you WILL get that transfer done! Maybe you and I will be transferring together because i know i wont' be transferring in June either. maybe july or august?? hopefully?! Anyway - you will get your BFP and baby soon!  Good things come to those who wait!

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by tones99, May 09, 2011
I am amazed at how people can try to take advantage of other's difficult situations!  This is just a small setback and it looks like it will work out for the best afterall .. your clinic where you live sounds a thousand times better .. don't let these low lives ruin your amazing spirit my friend .. keep hold of the wonderful thing that has happened with these embies being donated to you and don't let go of that feeling

Your girlfriend sounds wonderful .. and I'm so glad that you have that kind of support around you.  I can see all us ladies looking back on this whole period of our lives as a minor blip .. once we get our bubs it will all melt away!  Hoping that this all gets sorted soon and you can get on with it!

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by marietta2020, May 10, 2011
hope everything works out at the always does....good luck!

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by Kristyingeorgia, May 11, 2011
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Oh melissa how unfair. Im not usually one for a pitty party and I stay positive most of the time but that *****!!!! You need no more road blocks!!!! I am SO sorry you are on hold again, you are so strong and deserve this to go smoothly! XOXOXOXOXOXOX I cant believe the lawyers fees considering there are not laws pertaining to embryos!!! My offer will always stand for you to fly here and take a few of my eggs, I make cute kids :-) Honestly I feel sick to my stomach you are not laying around with your feet up being pregnant!!!

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by globetrot, May 12, 2011
I am happy you have a plan!!!!  I wish there were something I could do to help.   It makes me think we should start a website to review clinics so other women know how they treat people- it is almost criminal.  That RE does not care about anything but money.  I admire your attitude and strength.  Good things are coming your way!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs to you!

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by mhv, May 12, 2011
You ladies are the best!  I am hoping this will only slow us down 1 cycle... toes and fingers crossed!  Hoping for a late June transfer!  UGH! : )

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by MyYuyin2005, May 26, 2011
I have been looking for your posts on and did not see any.  I see that you are going to try again!  I am so excited for you!  I have decided to try again it took me some time but have now made-up my mind and I am ready to try again.  I think I will start late in July.  I will keep you in my prayers that this time you get your BFP!  

Take Care,

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by mhv, May 26, 2011

That's great! : )  I am glad you are trying agin.  We can't give up, it's just not an option.
I have been kind of laying low on Med Help lately.  I kept jumping on boards for transfers, only to have it delayed several times, so I have just been cruising around checking in on people : )  

Yep, I am working on getting every thing in order to move our embryos from TX to OH, then we can try again.  Time is moving quickly, and the process is moving slow, I guess I am just thankful that it's moving.  

I look forward to checking in with you now!  Yay!  July is right around the corner! : )    Looks like we will be close to the same schedule!

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by MyYuyin2005, Jun 01, 2011

I am glad I found you! =) I am very hopeful that July 2011 will be our month.  I am scared and excited all at the same time.  I think about it and I cannot help but remember my last failed IVF.  It is really hard to do this alone.  I have close friends that know of my situation they hear but do not fully understand my pain.  It is heart breaking when you get the call.  "THE CALL" I fear what the voice on the phone will say.  I think I am going to do things different this time around.  It drove me crazy last time when they would call me with number and say it is OK just keep taking your meds...  In my mind they knew the second time they did the blood work it did not take because he numbers were not going up.  The 1st time it was 0 and the second time it was 0 and after that I lost count.  They do blood work at 4 days after ET and then every 4 days until 14 day after ET.  I am going to ask them NOT to call me unless they are changing something in my meds.  I would rather NOT know until the BIG day.  I am scared that this time it will not work.  But need to get past it and move forward!  This will be my 3rd IVF cycle and FINAL!  I cannot do this again it is too painful just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes!  

So the update on me is that I am on BCP and DHEA (3 x ad day).  They did my blood work in May and I was told that I need to have my Varicella vaccine update.  So I had that done in May and then I was told that I need to have two but that they had to be 28 days apart.  So now I am scheduled to have the 2nd vaccine on June 21st.  Then I have to wait one month before I can start IVF.  So that will put me in late July.  I was told to call the office once I had my second vaccine and they will do my calendar.  I think I will start meds around July 21st.  

I wish you the best and will pray that July is OUR month!

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