May 09, 2011
It seems like every day is just full of these thoughts that don't really make any sense. I'm always stuck in these two worlds. In the one world, I'm so depressed. I just want to die. I'm so angry all the time.and full of hate. I can't seem to get anything done and have no Idea who I am or what I want to do with my life. I'm torn between a life here in North Carolina and a life waiting for me in Detroit. Torn between wanting a family and people in my life to be close to and just wanting to be left alone basically to die in peace. I'm so confused! I can't seem to get my life together. I feel like I'm so close to giving up at times and I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still here though. Still trying. What have I done? How can I make any real difference in my life? It feels like time is just going by so fast and I'm not making anything of it. I go through every day and can't get anything done! Who the hell am I? How much longer can I hold on? So many people have things so much worse than me and they seem to rise to the top and make a successful life for themselves but, I just can't seem to get anything going. I want to. Don't I? Just pure confusion.