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I need to vent or I am just gonna explode!!!!

May 10, 2011 - 14 comments

So of course this Sunday was Mother's Day or so I think it was...=/ This is where the venting comes in or sadness!
I totally felt unappreciated and I hate feeling this way. Maybe it's my hormones, but I can not shake this feeling of sadness. My DH did not do a DAM thing for me!!!! This is the 1st year nada not one thing was done for me. I don't expect much, it was rent weekend but a card a rose something!!! I mean nothing, my Son even reminded him to tell me happy Mother's day which does not make sense because he just told his mother 15 minutes before :(

This is how it started Friday night he sent me shopping to get his Mom a Mother's day and Birthday gift due to the fact that her Bday is the day after Mothers day and we were going to her house Saturday for a party. I did not spend much only $40 on both gifts, which were adorable! I had the boys paint some wood wind chimes and dragonfly stuff since that is her thing. So my DH left to the store during the party on Saturday to buy cigarettes and I thought this is his chance to get me a little something if he already has not. I told him if we don't have the money that is ok I don't need a present, but I know our budget better then him and I knew after his Mom's gift, rent, and counting money for the week he did have money left over! Well we spent the night at his Mom's and I had woken up in the middle of the night with a migraine so I stayed laying in bed watching tv a little later then everyone. I heard him tell his Mom happy Mothers day, and call his Grandma. So I am thinking I am next, no. I get up do my ting then go out to the living room and still nothing. It was not until 3 hrs later that my Son said Daddy did you tell Momma happy Mothers day? And then he looked over and said it, and then gave me a kiss. I wanted to cry right there, so I got up and walked back into the room. Then to top it off we go to an outdoor swap meet with his Mom and his Sisters 3 kids across the street and he buys them all lunch and a shirt and toy. Mind you he still has not gave me anything so at this point I give up and say I am ready to go home! He looks a little irritated and asks me what's wrong and I say nothing because I don't want to start a fight, we never and I mean never fight but this was just uncalled for! I let it go but yesterday I still felt awful after hearing everyone say what they got and asking me what he got me. So i told him when he got home from work how I felt, he said we didn't have the money!! Really!! Are you Fn kidding me was my response, it is nice to know you put others before your wife! I told him I don't expect a gift but come on you could not spend 2 dollars and buy me a card! I told him next time don't speend all our money on his nieces and nephews. I felt bad, but I feel unappreciated. There have been times on fathers day when we don't have lots of money but he always gets a card and special meals cooked all day for him. We have tons of art supplies at our house and our boys are old enough to make something. I don't think I am exaggerating, am I?

Thanks for reading!! I am glad you Ladies are here!

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by xx_Louise_xx, May 10, 2011
I totally agree.. Its hard for me because my DF isnt stevens i dont expect him to buy anything n Steven's behalf, and anyway, i dont want money spent on me either. But i said to my DF, just help steven make me a card, that would mean more then a store brought one! And in the end he just brought one, and a small bunch of pink lillies.. So now he does a little something like that. In the UK we celebrate Mothers day in March.

But last year i got nothing... i was kinda sad, half expecting a card from him, but not feeling as though he 'should' if u get what i mean. Steven didnt even say happy mothers day because my DF didnt remind him to (he has special needs, so i couldnt expect him to realise what day it was).. His school made more of an effort helping him make a card.. But yikes... its not hard is it? I totally get u Michelle, sometimes i just think men dont 'think' like they should. Or maybe we sometimes expect something, and when it doesnt happen, it leaves a sad thought! Men are so insensitive sometimes. We truly are a different species...

But deep down, im sure you feel love from your kids, and at the end of the day thats all that mothers day is really about!! :)

Happy Mothers day to you!!

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by margypops, May 10, 2011
awwww I know how you must feel..its just getting appreciated isn't it.. mine is the same, always was, as your kids get older they will make you something by themselves, that's how moms day used to be , less materialistic a child picked a flower and made a card precious ..

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by narla, May 10, 2011
Now my kids are older,28 and 26 and they can surprise me on mothers day themselves,my DH excuse for not getting me anything is the fact I'm not his mother,so looks like on fathers day I'll be saying sorry your not my father LOL

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by AnnieBrooke, May 10, 2011
My father always said "She's not my mother," when asked what he was going to do for his wife on Mother's Day.   There really is some logic there, the original idea in this holiday was to honor our own mother.  It seems to me as though the husband has the obligation to remind or hint the kids into doing something, and maybe to participate in doing it especially if they are too young, but otherwise, well, we really aren't our husband's moms (and thank God for that, in my husband's case.)

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by ginger899, May 10, 2011
Well that was insensitive I think. But I was wondering maybe he doesn't think of you as "mother" he thinks of you as "wife" is he when it comes to anniversaries? your birthday? If he's bad about those too, then that's a bummer.

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by renee82, May 11, 2011
I know exactly how you feel. I absolutly hate this week. At the beginning of the week (may 2) is my oldest daughters bday which is fine and she gets spoiled. But than its my bday may 5 which. After complaing I got flowers and a card so when it comes to mothers day I thought I would get a little something more, after having 2 major life threating ectopic surgeries, which one of them was in March, I expected (for once) a little apprication for being a mother and you know what I got.... TOOLS.... last min kinda thing whil dh was at lowes getting stuff for the yard. I think men have just been made that stereo typed as "its a man thing" excuse. There is no excuse for any man to neglect the woman of the house especially when we do everything. After losing the babies it has made it that much harder to feel sufficiant as a woman and for the dh to make it that much worse. I did a rolls reversed with the dh and told him " how would you think our DDs would feel if we (asparents) Did that same thing as he did to me" he got the hint. I am too soooo very glad that all these supportive women are here to help us.....
Remember to treat yourself as needed when ever because we deserve it. I think I am going to start planning a mothers day weekend away from everything

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by Mom2four85, May 11, 2011
I'm so sorry for those of you who get treated like this on Mother's day.  I myself don't see a big deal for my husband not to get me anything but that's just the way I was raised...he says he gets me stuff to thank me for being a good mother to our, I'm more of a do something special type of thing when it's not a holiday so those we love know how we feel all the time.

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by frank_noahsmommy, May 11, 2011
Yes Lisa that's they way he treats me every other year and this year he did not so I guess that's why I was so disappointed. My 11 year old is in Jr High and they dont make those cute little things no more, and my 4 yr old does not go to school yet. Like I said I did not expect a gift, however all wee he was saying he found me the perfect gift and I was going to love it. He knows now that he messed up, he told me last night we were going to go out to dinner this weekend and he was still getting me gift. I know I am not HIS mother but I am his children' s Mother and I do a very good job raising our kids. On the other hand I know how I guess some Men can justify not getting their wife's anything, but not when he has done it every other year we are together.

@Renee that Mothers day weekend away is sounding perfect!!!! I think I will plan that next year!!

Thanks again Ladies for all your feedback!

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by have 2 kids, May 11, 2011
I agree with the logic- I'm not his mom.   I don't expect anything EVER.   My kids both surprised me with flowers and a picture in a frame.   My kids are 11 and 14.  They both made their own arrangements to get gifts.

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by frank_noahsmommy, May 11, 2011
Ok this is just a question since most of you don't expect anything for Mothers Day, do you get your DH something for Father's Day??????

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by Clysta, May 11, 2011
I don't intend to. I'll probably tell him Happy Father's Day (he told me Happy Mother's Day) and that will be it.

Avatar universal
by teko, May 11, 2011
I feel the same way as some of the others. Guys just dont think of their wives as being like their mom. But usually a father will help his children do something special for mom on moms day and the dad will do something special for his mom. Well now things are all muddied and husbands are getting wives mothers day presents for being the mother to their children. Some guys just dont know when and what is expected of em!!!!! We gotta train em! Figure this one out. The father to my children does not get me anything for moms day right? He was my first husband..... Now the second one married me when all my kids were still at home and we have no children together, but HE gets me something every single mothers day! So Im just sayin, things are all messed up these days. LOL

Here is what ya do. The rent is paid and he owes you somethin special. Git a sitter and tell him to count his pennies cause he is takin you out for a special mothers day dinner. We women of today just gotta take the bull by the horns. Bet he doesnt forget you next year!!!!

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by frank_noahsmommy, May 11, 2011
@teko I agree!!!!! He is taking me out and I will make sure of it!
I think a lot of the Woman on here took it as if I was being selfish, like I said I don't expect a gift but if every year he has done something for me like flowers or made me a meal and this year nothing then it tends to make me feel forgotten. If we had never done anything from the beginning then that would be different. And like I said before he would be devastated If I did not do anything for him for Fathers day, no he is not my Father but he is a great father to our boys he goes far and beyond to make sure we get what we need and I like to show my appreciation in getting him a little something. It usually is a tool or something and I put that it is from the boys. Its nice to be appreciated for something you do everyday night and day 24/7 like being a SAHM or any Mother.

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by jenkaye21, May 11, 2011
I feel ya, hun.  I don't think you're being selfish at_all. My DH is the same way.  Oh, I get a card from him-- that's it. Ever.  Our kids are young, so they can't really do anything themselves, so.... it's kinda up to him.  Luckily, I have a *wonderful* mom who takes really good care of me, I got a present from each child-- four presents!-- purchased by my mom. LoL.  But I definitely agree w/ teko-- unfortunately, we do have to come right out and SAY exactly what we want/expect.  Sometimes I'm jealous of women whose hubbies are thoughtful [on their own!], but I just remember all my DH's other good qualities... :)
And he gets a card for Father's Day, that's usually it.  Mainly because I decided to treat him how he treats me.... the other way around didn't seem to work.  
Oh!  And a weekend away sounds awesome!  I am hoping to start a Mother's Day tradition of a trip to NYC with my daughter (DH keeps the boys).  We went 2 yrs ago but couldn't afford it this year.

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