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Depressed and Heartbroken...Not a Fun Combo

May 11, 2011 - 6 comments

My anxiety has been okay lately, though it has been higher then I like, but now it's the depression that's really acting up.

I have little to zero motivation. I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate what I see in the mirror. I hate the things I've been doing. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't even care.

Except I do, that's why I'm here, rambling on this site. I don't want to feel this way. I wish I had the energy and desire to make it through a day like a normal person. I feel so awful, I called in to work today and haven't left my bed. I feel restless and sad. Just really sad.

It doesn't help that the love of my life has decided that I'm not for him. My entire life changed with a text message and I don't know up from down, left from right. I have no idea what I'm suppose to do now, how I'm suppose to proceed. More importantly how am I suppose to live without him? How am I suppose to just be okay with him moving on to someone else? How in the hell do I do that when my heart hurts so much and I feel like I can't breathe?

8 years with this guy. Spending everyday with him. What am I suppose to do now?

I want to do nothing but sleep. Or run away. I'm trying my best not to sob, and I'm also trying to keep the anxiety I can feel rumbling around in my stomach from breaking free and sending me into an attack. It's my TOM too, so my hormones are out of control.

I just need a break. Or I need to run away. I don't know what I need......I just need SOMETHING. Anything.


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480448 tn?1426952138
by nursegirl6572, May 11, 2011
I feel for you and can relate BIGTIME.  I've been kind of in a rut lately too...just feel like doing NOTHING and it p***es me off!  I don't have the loss of such a huge relationship in my life like you least you have a REASON to feel like you do.  Let yourself grieve...sob if you have to.  Don't rush things.  You have every right to feel like you do after a break up like that.

Just know that you're NOT alone in how you feel at all.  I feel for you...."venting" here is always a good idea.

Hang in there!

Avatar universal
by Perfectly_Imperfect, May 11, 2011
Venting is good but you have to do something besides vent to feel better. First you should print out this post and hide it in your closet so when you find it 1 year later you can laugh at yourself for feeling the way you do. Second you should call your doctor and see if they can help you with something while you cope with the feeling of a break up (maybe a short term xanax to keep you calm or something along those lines.)
If this all started beacuse of the break up then you def. need to see a therapist and get some CBT to talk about why you feel your life is "over" because of a guy. It's a horrible horrible experience to go through a break up that wasn't expected especially after 8 years but you need to focus on yourself right now because if you continue to feel the way you do everyday you're just going to get used to feeling like crap and it's going to be harder to feel better once the time comes.
Go to work, keep distracted - and call your doctor ... good luck

1528619 tn?1305172138
by SonOfSun, May 11, 2011

Pure light... pain is just illusion. We are only the product of the life that we live. Choose to love thyself, and your path will get a lot brighter.... hang in there.

Avatar universal
by dixon28671, May 13, 2011
only one way.....pray to god can feel good

Avatar universal
by RainLover71, May 13, 2011
Its so sad but you have to adjust and get on without him.Yes it will be hard,but things improve as time goes by.Be true to yourself and love yourself.Only letting him go in your heart will set you free.All the best.

1692433 tn?1306490357
by frontier2002, May 29, 2011
It has been more than 10 years i feel the same way like you do. I am struggling to get out of this stupidity of life

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