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Worry.....

May 12, 2011 - 14 comments

Phin is still freakishly non-talkative for a 2-year-old. He says the following:

Bye, Hi, Thank you, Cat, Bubble, Ball (and he can meow and bark when he sees a cat or dog)

He refuses to even try to make words it seems like. He will pull you over to his cup and place your hand on it, then walk over to the fridge, open it and point to the milk. We tell him the words for all these things a hundred times a day and he has never uttered them back to us even once.  If you refuse to hand him the thing he is pointing at and just keep saying for example "Cup, Cup...Say Cup Phin" He will meltdown and lose it. Screaming, hitting himself with his hands, hitting his head on the floor/wall, throwing things, hitting you. I hate seeing him so frustrated.

We are waiting for a speech therapist to call us as our ped made a referral. I try not to get too worried but he has never called me Momma or called Chris Daddy. He won't even look at you most of the time if you speak to him. His hearing is perfect however.

I feel a sense of fear deep down and it is really getting to me. He is my world

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294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, May 12, 2011
I recall you started talking late, around 2.5.  Perhaps he just takes after you.  I know it's hard not to worry but I am sure he will have a flood of words coming soon.

1169162 tn?1331232353
by nola0805, May 12, 2011
Hi,

I know that we do not know each other but I saw your journal entry on the sidebar and I wanted to comment.  I am a child psychologist and a large part of my practice is evaluating children under 5 for potential delays. I know how scary it is to be worried about your son's language.  Right now your son is not exactly where he should be but I have seen early language lags go both ways - some end up perfectly fine and in other cases it is sign of a language or other developmental delay.  Let's hope that he is just a late bloomer, as Helen suggested - there is a good chance of that.  And if not, you have already done the most important thing: acknowledged that there is a problem and are seeking help. Early intervention can make such a difference and your son is so young - if there is a problem then you are catching it very early and this is when intervention really makes big changes.  

Good luck with the speech therapy appointment.  I wanted to add some advice in the meantime - I really would not demand language from Phin.  When we make demands for little ones to talk when they struggle with language, it can serve to make language a negative and overwhelming experience for them and can turn them off of language in a more serious way.  It sounds like he is communicating with you just fine using gestures, which is great.  Just model language for him all day - narrate everything you do - it will help.  

Your son is absolutely adorable - what I would pay for those curls!!!! And I love his name (I have an 8 month-old Finn).

feel free to PM with any questions.

Molly

Avatar universal
by ab1234, May 12, 2011
I know I'm young but maybe this will help.
I am 16, normal, social, and healthy.
I only said my first word at 3(almost 4). My mom took me to many doctors and they all said i was fine and would talk when i want to. My cousin had a small vocabulary when he was little and now he has a child and another on the way, he was the star football play from 9th grade to senior year in high school, wrestled, and very popular.
You'r son will talk more as time goes by, honestly i believe there is no reason to worry.
My cousin and I were both in honors, i still am, make good grades and give great advise to our friends.
I hope this helps and relaxes you on the matter.

392430 tn?1382904781
by kele1129, May 13, 2011
Thanks ladies. Yes I was a late talker and I know that boys are notorious for talking later on top of that but you know how mommy worry can over-ride logic.

Yesterday was just a bad day all together. Phin was more frustrated than usual and it is getting harder to guess at what he wants when he points in a direction and you have to blindy guess what it is that he may want, knowing that if you make the wrong choice a tantrum will happen, not may happen but will. I just want him to be able to voice his needs and wants.

432779 tn?1364494875
by feather2e, May 15, 2011
Fionn did not have even 1 word until he was 20 months old. He didn't even say mum or dad no animal sounds either.I was going through the same thing with the pointing.I too had early learning come evaluate him but they said to give it time. Now at 2 1/2 he is talking quite well, knows all his alphabet and numbers 1-10 verbally and visually. It was like a switch turned on. He still doesnt really tell me his needs so I have to ask him if he wants something,but it is getting better. I think that part is a personality trait. I know it is frustrating especially when you are trying to deal with an infant also, just take it day by day,

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, May 18, 2011
How was the therapy kele?  Any helpful suggestions that they gave you?

392430 tn?1382904781
by kele1129, May 19, 2011
We are having issues with the s[eech people, in that they are not contacting us for some reason. Our Ped is ticked off and doing his best to get this moving so hopefully by week end we will have at least set up an appointment.

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, May 27, 2011
How did appt go?  Was it useful?

392430 tn?1382904781
by kele1129, May 28, 2011
It was useful. The therapist said exactly what I have been thinking which is that Phin is not making the connection that the sounds we make is a way to communicate. She said he is incredibly bright and his motor skills are above any she has seen. It is looking like we will do 1-2 one hour in-home sessions a week until he is back on track.

Chris is taking it really hard and feels that we failed as parents. I cannot get him to realize that that is simply not true. Do I want my son delayed? No, but that point is now moot. I told Chris the way we are to be great parents is to continue on this path and get Phin the little boost that he needs.

I look forward to the day that he calls me Momma for the first time....

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, May 28, 2011
I am glad Phin is getting help!  
Sorry Chris is taking it so hard but this is just your first challenge and there will be more.  We all as parents go through thi which is why it takes a village.

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Jun 14, 2011
How are you doing?  Is Phin showing any signs of improvement?  I bet soon you will not be able to stop him from talking!

392430 tn?1382904781
by kele1129, Jun 16, 2011
Today he failed a hearing test so we have an appointment with an ENT in mid July for more in depth testing to see what the extent of the hearing loss is and any possible causes for it. Things suddenly made so much sense for us. Phin responds/reacts to his father about 80% more than he does to me, and it seems it is because he literally does not hear me.

While I am so happy to be on a path that give some answers and solutions, my momma heart is sad that my little boy has gone so long not hearing me tell him I love him.

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Jun 17, 2011
Finally a diagnosis that makes sense.  I hope his hearing is treatable and Phin can communicate better.

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Aug 09, 2011
I saw that Phin passed his hearing test.  Can they explain why he failed it before?  How is he doing?

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