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I can't believe she doesn't get it...

Jun 26, 2011 - 3 comments



Asperger Syndrome

So my mom told me she plans on having a cookout for the fourth of july. Yeah, I can handle that no problem... and later we are having fireworks... yeah, big problem... fireworks are like hell for me if they are close by. I told her I could bring out my laptop with the headphones, "You don't need to do that, you're going to be there to socialize" HELLO... SOCIALIZE?! I HAVE ASPERGER SYNDROME!!! I'm not going to socialize if being around people I hardly know very well... my mom 'claims' she knows what autism is and yet she doesn't stop to think about it and realize it... its almost like she forgets I'm even autistic to begin with. I mean I love fireworks but I don't want them that close... nor do I want to ruin the routine of not seeing them...

It just stupid that I have to deal with all of that extra stimulation I don't need. What's worse is I'll be so cluttered with the background noise I'll probably start having a meltdown. My mom won't listen to what I say, nor will she even consider changing the plans. I don't want to not see the fireworks but having them that close is murder to my poor hypersensitive ears...

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Avatar universal
by Nintendo_Gamer, Jul 16, 2011
I'm very sorry to hear that. :(  I too, as I mentioned in your other post, have Asperger's Syndrome. I have oversensitive hearing and a lot of noises hurt my ears and can even drive me crazy. I hate when there's a young child near me in a doctor's office, etc. who is screaming or crying really loud. It kills my ears and utterly drives me "mad". I can often feel a meltdown coming on near loud noises like that, or even if someone is making a tapping sound, etc. it drives me crazy. I also am terrified of socializing even at a family reunion. There is a lot of Family members there who I don't see much and don't know well, and I can't even seem to get myself in the building with them. If I somehow manage to step inside, I feel as if I'm an outcast and I panic. Fear runs through my mind, and all of the voices just totally overwhelm me so much that I have ran out of the building crying a lot of times before. I literally Meltdown outside all by myself. :(

I'm not sure if this would work for you and your Mom, but maybe you could set up a consoling session with someone who specializes in Asperger's, who would be able to help your Mom better understand what it is like to have Asperger's. I know it took my Mom awhile to realize what I was going though, and why I acted the way I did, until my Consular explained it to her.

If that won't work, maybe you could show her a video on Asperger's or get a book on it at the Library. I wanted to learn more about Asperger's when I was first diagnosed with it, and watched some informative videos about it on Youtube. I also have a book on it as well. It is called, "The Everything Parent's Guide To Children With Asperger's Syndrome".  It also has some quotes throughout from Adult Aspies. I think it is a good informative guide on our condition.

I hope this information will be helpful for you. If not, or if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Good Luck! :)

1719131 tn?1316584213
by redxfantasy, Jul 18, 2011
Well, see... my mom has a bit of autistic traits herself but not enough for a diagnosis. She gets angry a lot and she's a bit learning delayed. She explains out to other people but yet she can never understand it whenever she realizes its a problem for me. Also, I take a stimulant because of ADHD so I think most of the sounds that do bother me, I don't act that way. I do cover my ears if sirens go by our if there is too much noise at once and my brain can't process is it all... >____<

She won't read anything because she believes she knows everything about Autism and what ti does. My dad even said that too. She feels that whatever she does is right and everyone else is wrong. It gets so annoying.

Avatar universal
by Nintendo_Gamer, Jul 31, 2011
Hello, I'm very sorry I haven't replied in a while. I've been having problems with my health lately, especially my depression. :(

I'm sorry to hear that. :( From what you are telling me, it sounds as if it's hard for you to communicate to her. I'm not sure if she is, but she sounds depressed to me. Getting angry a lot could be a symptom of depression, but it could be coming from underlying causes though too. I know I can get angry due to having Asperger Meltdowns, and just because I'm feeling totally overwhelmed from my depression. So I'm not totally sure, but it could be possible. I'm just saying that due to my experience with my depression.

I guess having a family meeting or a mother-daughter consoling session to chat about how you feel wouldn't be possible? May I ask if there's anytime your mom will take time out to listen to you? I know my mom doesn't always want to talk to me or even listen about my problems, due to her own issues. My mom suffers from Major depression, like me, and has some Autistic traits as well. Although she has never been tested or diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's. I'm not sure how well you and your dad get along, but maybe if you feel comfortable, you could talk to him about how you feel. He might be able to work things out with your mom better, or be able to help you out.

I wish I could help you better. To be honest though, I'm still struggling with my Asperger's combined with my other conditions, and I don't even know how to help myself. I've been on so many medications before, but none have really gave me the relief I need. :(

I'm very sorry. Like I have said, I really wish I could help you out better. You seem like a really nice, intelligent person who is just struggling in life with severe anxiety, combined with Asperger's and your other conditions. I feel as if I can relate to you in a lot of ways. Too bad you live all the way out in Arizona (AZ), I would've really liked to meet you. Myself I live in Pennsylvania (PA). I would love to have a friend like you. At least we can communicate through Medhelp. :)

Take care and best wishes,


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