Jul 18, 2011
For what it's worth, I did try. I tried to go out and have fun. I even met a girl. Well, sort of. Went downtown Saturday night and actually talked to a girl. A really hot girl at that! I got to hold hands and dance and get a taste of what it would be like to be close to another person again. And then... nothing. It all fell apart. Most guys would have been trying to get laid but, just wanted to take it slow. Really. I just wanted to maybe get her number and go out for coffee. I could sit here and say that it was just because SHE was crazy and there's nothing wrong with me but, that isn't true. I get so nervous and I feel like women really pick up on that. This seems to keep happening and I'm the one that can't seem to make the change. It really does start to wear down on me. At 25 years old I should be able to go out on a date and talk to a woman. Most guys can. I should be able to do that. I feel like this shouldn't bother me so much but, it does. I did try though but, it seems to be getting harder and harder every time I fail. And I seem to fail a lot. I've heard the saying that the only real failure is in not trying at all. That seems to be true. At least I can sat that I tried. I just can't seem to get on the right page. I don't feel like I belong with the drug addicts and alcoholics and I can't seem to find my place with normal society either. I'll try my best even though I feel like I'm just in store for another failed attempt.