All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

Level ground

Aug 17, 2011 - 5 comments
Tags:

Baby

,

family

,

Love

,

okay



Hey everyone.  I've found myself on pretty level ground these last couple of days.  It was hard at first, but I've accepted the fact of things happening.  I still have some pretty hard days now and again when everything just comes flooding in -- but overall I'm doing okay.  I just look at my babies and I know that he's the one that screwed up/is screwing up and he's the one that is missing out on so much.  Although I'd rather that not be the case, it's how it is.  I feel like I kind of found myself again through this whole mess.  I'm just hoping that things go well from here on out.  I'm still at my parents for the time being.  Been working and just paying off all my bills and whatnot -- going to try to get a better car and save up some money so I can buy a house or land or something instead of wasting all my money renting.  I figure $500 a month for a year is $6,000 -- that instead of wasting I can save and put as a down payment or something on anything else.  We'll see how things go though.  It's still hard a little when I talk to him, but I left it in God's hands and asked him to please let Bryan make the decision that will be best for our family and for the babies and me.  I can't make him do something he doesn't want to do and I can't make him love me or want to be with me.  I've come to those terms in my own head and things are going along okay so far.  Please keep me and the babies in your thoughts and prayers as I'm sure that's why I've made it this far with this state of mind!!!  God bless you all and thank you so much for everything that you've done for me :)  I'll keep in touch!!!

Comments
Post a Comment
Avatar universal
by gnarly_1, Aug 18, 2011
HI TIFF you been delt a foul hand but as always you look at it like you got ace in your hand your brutality optimistic and have a deep fath in God who knows what will happen the mane thing is your moving on with your life you have a family to take care of do the best you can I raised my kids by myself my wife was bed ridden for 5yr I had 4 under the age of 10 with one toddler God gives you the strenth you need if your not already read his word every morning it will help get you threw the day my prayes go out to your family hope to see you posting again you habve always been an asset to the forum
myay God bless your family abundantly...and coming from a guy...your a beautiful girl and dident deserve this.......Gnarly    

617347 tn?1331293081
by laurel453, Aug 19, 2011
Love the way you are riding this tough time, Tiff... as you know well, we, addicts, have to learn that we can not change some events just the way we face them and hiding behind some pills or running away is not the way... you have never been this way, you faced your husband's addiction and dealt with it the best you could with a great brain and a huge heart... I see that you are doing the same with the new situation, you and your children will be all right, i just feel it....

1641357 tn?1470495393
by tgtiffany, Aug 28, 2011
Thanks guys...re-reading this post makes me cry cause today isn't such a good day....hopefully it ends well...i really just need a break :( .....I've done everything right and still feel as though nothing goes good for me :(

1653969 tn?1390331661
by cleaninitup, Aug 28, 2011
Will be thinking of you today sweetie. Its along tough road you are on and it will take time,you will have good days and days that you don't want to get out of bed and just cry. Just know we are here for you. Love you girl!

1641357 tn?1470495393
by tgtiffany, Aug 28, 2011
Thanks :)

Post a Comment