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Is He Cheating?

Aug 24, 2011 - 0 comments
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cheating

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worry



My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and have been in a relationship for almost three years.  We've always had a happy marriage, spent time together, cuddled, could always make each other laugh, had sex at least once a day, sometimes three or four times a day - truly a happy marriage.

There's been a few things that have raised concern, though.  Back before we were married and my husband was attending school, I went up to visit him on a few occasions and one day I found a long blond hair on the back of his jacket.  He said it must have clung to his jacket when he sat in a chair or something and I believed him because it seemed very reasonable.

But then another time when I went to visit him at school, we were sitting down for lunch and I saw a hair dangling from inside the sleeve of his shirt (he was wearing long sleeves) and I pulled it out and it was an extremely long blond hair.  I grew very upset and wanted to know how the hell some girl's blond hair had managed to get up the sleeve of his shirt - again he denied doing anything but couldn't explain it off either.  I mean really, hairs don't just crawl their way up the sleeve of your shirt on their own!

Another time after we were married we were in the process of moving - well we have this trunk in our bedroom that we keep all of intimate things in (condoms, lube, such like that) and he had picked it up to take it to the car and I noticed another long blond hair that was dangling from the bottom of the trunk (and the trunk has ALWAYS been in our bedroom...so how did the hair get there?)

Btw I have dark brown hair to my shoulders.

Okay, but now it's been over a year since I had seen anything, nothing new or different occurred...up until three weeks ago.  I was driving my car with Jared in the passenger seat and we had stopped to get gas and snacks - I waited in the car for him while he ran inside.  I glanced over, not really looking at anything, and my eyes landed on a strand of hair that was gleaming in the sunlight.  It was lying in the passenger seat (and Jared is the ONLY person that has ever even ridden in that seat) and I picked it up and it was another long blond hair.

This time I didn't even bring it up to him because I knew he was just going to deny it.  It seems pretty useless and it's not REAL proof of anything, just circumstantial.  So I don't.

Now here's what else is starting to worry me.  My husband is a teacher and wrestling coach and last year we lived right down the road from the school so it literally took two minutes to get from our house to his work.  Well now we live 40 minutes away so he has to get up earlier - naturally.

Well the teachers are supposed to be there at 8:00 but class doesn't actually start until 8:20.  Well it seems like my husband is waking up earlier and earlier.  At first he was waking up at 7:00, then it turned to 6:30, then 6:00, and this morning he woke up at 5:40.  I asked him why he thinks he has to wake up so early and why he thought he needed two and a half hours to get dressed and drive up there and he goes, "Because."

Well I wouldn't settle for "because" so I pressed further.  "Because why?"

And he smiled a little (he usually smiles when he's been caught at something) and did this little stretch - and he was quiet the entire time he stretched like he was trying to think of something to say to me.  Then he rubbed his face with his hands and said, "Because I need the extra time to do school work."

I got angry and told him that he already had two planning periods during school hours (he's only teaching one class of philosophy and once class of health as well - which is like nothing) and he said that he was training one of his wrestling students during one of his planning periods so he needed the extra time before work.

Frankly, I think he's using that extra time to cheat on me.  Used to we had sex at least once a day and usually more than once, but we've only had sex three or four times in the past month and a half - right now we haven't had sex in a week and a half.  He's not even trying to.

Also, last year he would shower once every other day or once every two days and would only shave once a week, or something once every two weeks (he always has a beard) and here recently he's been showering EVERY single day and shaving more regularly.  When I questioned him he said it's because he wants to make a better impression with the staff this year because he felt like he was lazy and a slob last school year - we thought we were gonna be moving to a new school district so he was kind of lazy when it came to work.

It seems valid, but I just can't help but to think he has ulterior motives.  I can't discuss it with him because he'll just deny it and then he might even change his habits to try to "console" me and I think if I'm going to catch him at it, I need to let him do his thing and see how things play out over time.

I just don't know.

:(

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