Aug 25, 2011
You know I watch these videos were they say recovery is possible, but is it really? NO!
I hate myself for letting myself get into this! Now that I'm into the ED there no ever getting out! D: I want to be free and happy from this, I'm so tired of crying and being a lone. I'm tired of no one knowing how I feel, of everyone just saying "well then just forget about it"
They have no idea how much that hurts. If I could just forget about this thing that has ruined my life, believe me I would of months ago! But I can't! :(
I always here it's possible, but I think they're the lying. Or it just doesn't apply to me. I'll never be free of weight, it will forever and always take my joy away from me. It will forever and always take the real me away from me! :(
But no one sees it. They all think I'm better and past the struggle, but what they don't know is it's at it's worst and I would do anything to wake up tomorrow 40 pounds lighter!
They have no idea that if they let me I would eat 36 calories a day! But they won't let me so I'm stuck in this pit of hate and I'll never be free. Because I never can really say that's it I know have what I want.
The finish line is always moving and my too strong stubbornness for ED will never end!