Aug 29, 2011
As I mentioned in my status, baby girl was born on August 23rd, 2011 @ 5:57pm, she came out @ 29 weeks. Eventhough drs were able to somehow "stabilized" my blood pressure, it was already affecting my baby. They did and u/s on monday and her fluid had gon down to just 4 AFI, so drs decided to deliver the baby. They 1st wanted to induce me, but since baby wouldnt stay on the monitor, the did and emegency C-Section. I have to say that it was far from the birth plan I had planned, but it had to be done and I was ok with it.
Ariana was born SCREAMING, she weighted 2lbs 10ozs and measure 15 1/2 inches. She was put on a C-pap (which she hates and is always trying to take it off..!) and already they're removing the umbilical lines, so hopefully soon I'll get to hold her. She's also eating 3 times more than when she was born. Everybody at the NICU calls her "little miss feisty" bcs of how much she fights with the nurses who are taking care of her. They say that's good, and that is now a matter of when she's gonna be able to come home.
Now about how I'm feeling? That's another story....I;m fighting the feelings of guilt, and hurt. I feel so guilty bcs my body failed her, and she couldnt stay longer inside of me. Everyone tells me is not my fault, but is hard to see it that way, Is so hard to look at her with all those tubes and monitors, when she should be inside of me, kicking up a storm, and comfy, growing and to come out when she was ready.
People keep telling me that I need to rest, while she's on the NICU, but how can I? When I'm there, I feel so guilty seeing her hooked up to all of those machines and when I'm home I'm constantly thinking about her being there all alone, and feeling like I'm abandoning her.
Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support for both me and my baby girl.