My sweet, funny, beautiful boy

Oh Finn, where do I begin?  I can't believe a whole year has gone by - it rushed by as fast as everyone warned me it would. I will always remember the weeks you slept only on my chest, your struggle to first breast and then bottle feed and how this gave me the first glimmers of your tenacity and spirit, your amazing motor strength and skills, those sly grins that still slay me, your love of that swing and how you would coo at the circling birds for hours, the way you lift your top leg up when you nurse to snuggle in better, your big slobbery kisses, your love of noticing what makes me laugh and doing it over and over again, your love of music, your love of taking any fabric and dangling it over things, your curiosity and love of experimenting, the big giggle when I put you in the swing at the park, our morning cuddle sessions and so much more...  

I can't express my amazement at the person you are - you are old soul and new laughter rolled into one. You are cautious, yet so brave and confident  - I'll never forget how you face new fears, like the waves at the beach - wanting me close but wanting to face it on your own - creeping slowly closer and then off you go, having a ball, splashing in the surf. This inspires me so.  You inspire me so.

I waited so long to have you and worried that I never would - and now I am humbled at the priveldge of knowing you. I worry and fret about doing all the right things as a parent, and I think I am finally realizing that I just need to love you and you will show me the way.  And loving you is so easy.  

all my love,

mama