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I had high hopes

Sep 10, 2011 - 0 comments

Anxiety Disorder





Even though I didn't sleep well and an asthma attack woke me up just as I finally dozed off, I felt pretty good today.  I was in a great mood when I first got up. I made coffee, fed the cat and was reading on Facebook. After the coffee my partner had gotten up and around and we decided to go to the mall to shop for clothing for our up coming wedding.  As I was getting ready I began to get dizzy off and on.  My vision went out of whack (which I try to ignore as I have CSR in my left eye). My partner drove to the mall while I felt shaky in the passenger seat.  I thought maybe I had too much coffee and needed to eat.  I continued to feel increasingly off.  I got a salad in the food court (let-us create...yum). As I sat there eating that warm rush (you know that awful panic rush) came over my body.  I don't know what came first...the nausea or the panic rush...I began to get a little scared like I needed to just bolt away but I made myself stay.  That is when the depersonalization kicked in.  We left the mall and went on to Whole Foods to get some things.  In there, things felt foreign and unreal.  I was still very nauseated and wanted to run because WHAT IF I STARTED THROWING UP?!  I purchased some lavender bath scents to relax in for home.  Then it was my turn to drive.  It may as well have been a movie because drive felt so surreal it made me uncomfortable.  I was spacey and anxious...when I got home I took 1/4 of an Ativan and took a nap.  I feel a little better.  Stomach is still upset and even though I took the Ativan, I can feel the underlying uncomfortable feeling fighting to come back in.  I am going to work in my CBT workbook.

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