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Now what...??

Oct 17, 2011 - 11 comments

Well I really felt good about this cycle, and not getting AF. But I was disappointed once again.

So now our next step is to get DF's sperm tested. And he's freaking out. He said he'll do it for me, but he's scared he will hear something terrible.

He's afraid that I won't love him anymore if it comes out bad and he can't give me another child. All I can do is keep reassuring him.

I'm getting a little scared.....Does anyone have any advice?

My Sticky Lil Bean
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1791150 tn?1330129372
by thebrat333, Oct 17, 2011
Hi you poor things  

Sounds to me like you guys really in love (you described him as the love of your life perhaps you should tell him!!!)

Even if the sperm count is lower things can be done to improve it !!!  

try not to worry and just go for it .


1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Oct 17, 2011
He does know he's the love of my life. I tell him all the time.

It is possible that he does have a low sperm count. He is 14 years older then me. But that would still kill him if he hears that

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by Moma_Cher, Oct 17, 2011
It wouldn't be the end of the world... Actually at least you would have answers and be able to overcome it! There are plenty of treatments to overcome or compensate for low sperm count. Hang in there!

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Oct 17, 2011
That's what I told him too. He's afraid to have the test done. But I told him if there's some bad news, at least we'll know and then we can try and find a way to overcome it

I think it's a male ego thing!

1152782 tn?1451101426
by ConnieG, Oct 18, 2011
THat's exactly how my husband reacted. He did NOT want to do it. He even got a little mad when it came down to it. I just told him that it's just procedural. THey are just going to rule it out. You probably have nothing wrong with you. The sooner you do it the sooner it will be over and we'll be on to testing other things. And gave him lots of love for that week leading up to testing.
He did pretty well, felt weird giving his donation but overall it wasn't bad.
I definitely would play the part of, it's most likely not you, this is just standard procedure. It should ease his mind a little anyway. Then once you get the results you can go from there. No need to worry before you even have answers.
Plus if it's the guy usually the fix is so much easier than if it's the girl :)
Good luck! Let us know how it goes!!

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Oct 18, 2011
How did your hubby's test turn out?

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by xx_Louise_xx, Oct 18, 2011
My DF was the same when we didn't conceive in 19 months, after a early miscarriage,  he was scared, and I was scared too of the outcome! But I knew no matter what, I'd still love him immensely! The test came and went, ten we were told he has low sperm count, motility and morphology! He was devastated, but I told him it doesn't mean u can't get me pregnant, but it would just take longer then average! He done it once, he'll do it again was my attitude.  After trying for 19 months, he had very little hope! But low and behold, one month after finding out about his SA results, I get my BFP! :) Now I'm very close to 14 weeks and we couldn't b happier!

Just think, he done it once, he can do it again! :) Have hope.. All the best x

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Oct 18, 2011
He's actually done it more then once, because he has 3 other kids from his previous marriage.

I'm kinda wondering if he has a low sperm count, because he is 14 years older then me. (which makes him 47)

His thinking is "if he can't get me pregnant again, then I'll find someone else who will". I told him that will never happen, cause I love him way too much for that to ever happen. He also says he doesn't know how he'd react if something comes back bad. He's afraid he won't be "man enough" for me

I had a chemical pregnancy in march, so we know it's still possible.

Hopefully everything comes back good so he can stop worrying

Congrats on your BFP! That gives me some hope

1152782 tn?1451101426
by ConnieG, Oct 18, 2011
Well, it didn't turn out to well for us. His count was okay I think but the had 0% normal morphology and bad motility, i think 5%. It didn't change the way I feel about him at all. if anything I was relieved because we had an answer. My gyn kept telling me my cysts were not the cause and my hormones were normal so it was stressing me out.

As of now it will be an act of God if we get pregnant on our own. But there is this surgery that they are going to do once work approves the time off.  There is a 70% chance it reverses his problem. If nothing else it will hopefully get us to be eligible for IUI or IVF-ICSI. But at least there is an answer an a chance.

It really messed with hubby's head that he was the 'problem' but I Think he is mostly over it now. The only problem we have now is he does NOT want to do donor sperm as of now. So if the surgery doesn't correct the problem then I'm not sure where to go from there.

But there is no telling what the doctor will find for you guys. He may be fine, he may be low on count. IUI will help with low count, they get all the good ones and wash them to give them the best chance and that should help if that is ya'll problem.........

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Oct 18, 2011
I realize there's other ways to get pregnant, and yes we may have to explore those avenues. I feel depressed that we may have too, cause it just feels like we shouldn't have to do that because we have 1 child together, and he has 3 children from his previous marriage.

I guess only time will tell.....

1791150 tn?1330129372
by thebrat333, Oct 19, 2011
Oh dear

You need cheering up as you can only get pregnant when you are happy thats why lots of people get pregnant on holiday or on honeymoon and such like .  

hmmm have a girls night out wish we could all come but you know its not possible.

I saw a rainbow today and that made me feel happy .  

Hmmm what makes you happy???  If it is holding babies then you could volunteer your babysitting services to friends so they can go out..  

You know holding a baby actually does something to you it triggers something inside (hormones or something) and makes you more likely to get pregnant..

good luck hope something happens soon xxxx

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