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Need Your Advice

Oct 18, 2011 - 19 comments

Ok ladies, I need your advice and guidance.  

I am not working right now, and am planning on going back to school for estetics.  I am so confused as to what to do as far as timing though.

I am doing my transfer on Oct 31st. and the next class starts on Nov 7th.  My first beta will be Nov 9th.

If I go full time, it will be 5 days a week for the first 6 weeks, and then it will be 6 days a week for the next 4 1/2 months if I go full time.

6 months total.

If, God willing, I get my BFP, that will be alot for a pregnant woman... don't you think?

I can stretch it out to 7 or 8 months if I like.  Which I figure, if I'm pregnant, would be better.

Then I thought, if I do get pregnant, I will be 6 months pregnant when I graduate... so then I won't be able to work anyway, because who's gonna hire a 6 month pregnant woman?

The other problem is, the other class doesn't start until Feb 6th... which would be 6 days a week in the Summer... would hate that!  

I am so confused as to what to do... go now? Go full time?  Go now, go part time.
Go later....

Help!!!!!

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961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Oct 18, 2011
OH! And then.... If we get have to do another cycle (God Forbid!) then I will have to leave school early for scanning, and take a few days off for transfer.... ugh!

1571146 tn?1399909692
by Moma_Cher, Oct 18, 2011
This is tough... My heart says take time off but my mind says try to continue living your life the same while ttc. Maybe compromise with the part time option??

1293683 tn?1334019210
by tones99, Oct 18, 2011
I agree with Cher .. I think whatever happens .. the part time option will be the best .. if the unthinkable happens and you need to do another round, you want to be sure that you're going into it calm and not feeling stretched by a heavy schedule.

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Oct 18, 2011
I had to make similar decisions when we were going through ivf and I decided that infertility treatments should not affect my life decisions.  Please do not put your life on hold.  Besides, pregnancy is not a disability.  I was working full time till I was 38 weeks.
Good luck!!

1726707 tn?1362530938
by Shyladybaby27, Oct 18, 2011
I am still in university part time yes its hard but I don't want to give up so please try the part time first to see how you handle it. Pray on it aswell you will know

1726707 tn?1362530938
by Shyladybaby27, Oct 18, 2011
I meant to say full time university I thought the same thing as I decided to go back this year only because I had the miscarriage because school plus a bay seemed hard for me until I realized that quitting just because I got pregnant would be accepting failure

1129232 tn?1360800358
by kris71, Oct 18, 2011
Hey Melissa,
I think you should just sign up for classes and do it now. Even if you're pregnant, you can work, go to school etc. Believe me, you will be bored if you aren't doing anything and the trimesters will go sooo slow. I feel like you should not put this on hold based on what ifs so either go full time now (regardless of pregnancy etc) or go part time if that is an option. Believe me, i have experience with this - i have put my life on hold for nearly 3 years due to the "if i'm pregnant" etc. If you sign up and you're pregnant and for whatever reason can't do classes - just cross that bridge when you come to it. good luck!!

1340863 tn?1366641084
by sisi2399, Oct 19, 2011
Hello dear friend.... I say go party time.  Even thought pregnancy is not a disability, we have put do much time and effort into this that we wouldn't want to risk it for anything.  The stress of the first trimester and full time school will be alot.  And if you need another cycle (god forbids) it will also be easier on you.  WE dont put our lives on hold but we have been doing everything and anything possible to get to this baby that minor things can wait or we can do them but slow.  Infertility is very stressful to be adding more.  Also remember these are not natural pregnancies, these need extra care, extra rest.  Try your best to stay stress free, thats very important. Hugs!!!!

God luck with the decision :)

1141709 tn?1329402332
by Pecas282, Oct 19, 2011
Part time! No doubt it my mind! Your probability of getting pregnant is high and if you are at school full time, there are simple things that can come up which will warrant rest, and you'll  be grateful not to have the added pressure. I would understand full time if you were trying naturally for awhile with not much luck. Then I would say live your life, but the truth is you will be getting pregnant soon, and if you transfer two and have twins, you will be EXTRA  happy you only went part time. I've been in this same boat and have spent the last two years finding the balance of living my life and trying to get pregnant, but with an IVF aided by a donor egg, I knew it had to be my biggest focus. Just before I got pregnant, I turned down a huge book editing job and I am so glad I did! You can decide to go full time later.

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Oct 19, 2011
Thanks girls!!!!  I am working on getting loans ect... I guess I will pray for 1 more day, and see what I come up with.  I dont want to keep putting my future on hold.  I just don't want to overstress myself in anyway.  I just got out of a stressful work inviroment, and I don't want to stress about this.  Heck, for all I know, by the time I decide, it may be to late to go in November anyway.  I don't want to put my life "on hold" for my fertility, but, the reality is, I have high quality embryos, that hopefully we will be successful with.  I don't know!!!  This is stressing me out! haha!

1686755 tn?1337083880
by kk619, Oct 19, 2011
Ugh, tough decisions all around when we are ttc!  I left my full time teaching job after we relocated to another state, and because we were ttc, I did not actively search for another position here, realizing that because my fertility doctor was now going to be 1.5 hrs away, there was no way I would be able to work and do fertility treatments.  My dr. was checking me once, twice a week during the process and because of the drive I would have to take the whole day.  Anyway, thought that was going to be for a few month.  A year and 3 miscarriages later, I finally decided that I needed to get on with other areas of my life!  It is so easy to allow the ttc take over, and while it may be one of the most important things we are doing, it is not ALL of who we are.  So...needless to say, I started subbing this fall so that I could pick and choose days to work around the fertility treatments and appointments.....and now so far so good with our 4th pregnancy!  (8 weeks and still doing ok)  Of course, now I am getting back into being out in the world working again, and will need to readjust again to staying home full time after the baby, if we are blessed enough to go full term this time!!  Ironic!  What I think I am trying to say is that we HAVE to remember that there is more to us than just ttc.  You are the only one who can make these decisions for yourself though.  Either way you go, just try not to regret your decision no matter what the outcome.  As someone else stated, if life changes in the middle of classes and you feel you need to adjust, then you will make those decisions as they come.  None of us EVER know what will end up being, so in the meantime, keep doing what you feel you want to be doing!  Good luck....I know it is not easy!

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Oct 19, 2011
Melissa,

I've been going to school part time since ttc 3 years ago.  I take two classes per semester, 1 class per summer semester (usually 4).  This past summer I took the entire summer session off and I have to say I'm sorry I did that.  I did that because I thought I was going to do this cycle back in June and figured what a good idea it would be to have the first trimester off.  Well by doing that, first, I never got to the cycle to last week - secondly I lost time in school.  I have 9 classes left to graduate and now its going to go really slow.  

I started with two online classes this semester.  I ended up dropping one because I honestly didn't care for the class or subject matter.  But the one class I have now is keeping me just as busy if not more.  I'm trying to figure out whether I will take two in the spring, I'd like to but I will see how I feel as the time goes by.

All I can say is its hard to make decisions based on the what if's?  I would constantly fight this batter with school, full time work and even the part time job I have now.  I'm happy with my part time job now and my one little measly class lol - its all I can handle.  And since it took me 10 years to get my associates (yes 10) at this point I don't care. lol  I'll get to it, when I get to it.  

Just do what you think is best for you.  xoxo

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Oct 27, 2011
Well, I decided to postpone going to school.  It felt like I was just trying to rush things.   But, it turns out to be a good thing.  My first day would have been Nov 7th... which is now my new transfer date.  I think right now, I need to focus on doctors appts and transfers.  Maybe, if I get a bfp this time, I can start school  in Dec.  

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Oct 27, 2011
I think that's a good plan!

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Oct 27, 2011
mhv,
my work was the only thing that was keeping me saine suring 2ww and my first trimester.  Aat least I had smth on my mind other than ivf.
I wish you the best of luck!!!
SSBD!

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Oct 28, 2011

Yea, I have worked since I was 15, and just found myself without work recently.  I just decided that when I do go back, I want it to be something I really like...hence, school.  I just don't want to start, and have to keep missing class because of doctors appts and transfers.  It is only a 6 month course, and of course, they want you there as much as possible.  I am just glad I listened to my gut this time, or I would have missed my first 2 days of class.  I didn't want to jump into another job for fear of not being able to get off work for doc appts/transfers ect...

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Oct 28, 2011

Yea, I have worked since I was 15, and just found myself without work recently.  I just decided that when I do go back, I want it to be something I really like...hence, school.  I just don't want to start, and have to keep missing class because of doctors appts and transfers.  It is only a 6 month course, and of course, they want you there as much as possible.  I am just glad I listened to my gut this time, or I would have missed my first 2 days of class.  I didn't want to jump into another job for fear of not being able to get off work for doc appts/transfers ect...

1045917 tn?1376594610
by nichumangel, Oct 29, 2011
Hey Mel, Why is your transfer date changed??  And take some time for yourself! BTW I had another miscarriage, that is number 5 now, I dont know how many more I can deal with!  Keep me posted Louise xox

Avatar universal
by Lt119, Nov 19, 2011
I would stay part-time at work and wait on goin back to school. While u r goin through IVF treatments is stressful and alot of  time in2 it. And if u get preg. u might have multiples so alot of over doing it will not be good for u. You dont want to cause harm to the pregnancy. Everyone preg. is diff. tho, but I wouldnt take any chances. I worked full time while preg. with twins and went n2 early labor at 21wks, and lost them. So I think that working alot had something to do with that. Then I tried again and was working full-time and going to school full time while going through IVF process. Unfortunate, IVF didnt work that time, maybe doin 2 much. Then I tried again, once I found out I was preg. I went on leave from work to make sure I have healthy preg. Very happy 2 say that I have triplets who r 1 now. U do whats best for u, they say dont put ur life on hold but at the same time if u want kids and had or have to go through a extreme process to get them then puting ur life on hold for alittle while want hurt especially when u r trying 2 bring a life in2 urs. Good luck!

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