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nothing to worry about...

Oct 19, 2011 - 0 comments

okay so i know i havent wrote in my journal for a very long time not even the one i have secretly stored in room but today i just felt the need to write these words down...

im a mess but then my lifes never been this good and yet i cant seem to enjoy it or im missing stuff i used to love because now i cant do them, i have a job now and i drive now witch is awesome but i miss my friends being available to see them not the whole im sorry im working and theyre the same we're all to busy to be friends with each other i guess im just scared we're all gunna forget each other and move on with new people. another thing i feel im missing out on is love i havent had a boyfriend or even a crush in months ive never been really excited about the guys i know i dont want to be alone anymore i wanna feel love a big romance or even a small romance. on my days off im stuck in my room watching tv when i should be out there meeting new people hanging out with my friends and finding new things to do with my time instead i just wanna hide behind the reality of tv the love lives of fictional characters...

is working this hard to achieve what ive achieved so far worth loosing parts of myself and being able to say no to doing stuff because im simply too tired? i cant be this lonely this scared and sad when my life at the moment is good ive got what ive wanted what ive wished for a job and a car ultimate freedom! financial support and free will to go wherever i want but without  my friends theres no where to go no one to see nothing to do and no one to really worry about.  im even going to gym more and using the sunbeds to feel and look better im doing well i was doing better than i have in a long time but im missing a huge chunk of my life im doing it all alone i have no one to share my day with but my parents. i cant even spend my money because im saving for spending money for my holiday in november im gunna try a put a halloween thing together but how much do u wanna bet that more than half my friends cant go!

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