All Journal Entries Journals

I am tired of people who dont get it!

Oct 25, 2011 - 8 comments

chiari malformation




people don't get it



I'm tired of people who dont get it! My in-laws, my aunts, most of my oncles, my neigbourgs and even I never met before tells me that I'm lazy not to go and have a job.

I mean I know that my in-laws dont approved that I dont work outside the house, or that when I work I only take a few hours a week. They have been telling it to my husband for years now. We told them that I'm sick and that working outside the house is to hard on me.

My mothers family don't see it either. But I learned to not mind there words a very long time ago. I always was the black sheep amongs my cousins.

But strangers! That was the drop that made everything go over board.

I have Chiari malformation, and a list of at least 25 symptomes that make me misarable most days!

Ah! yes strangers!

I was taken back today when I decided to go for a walk at the local health center, because it was raining very hard outside again. While I was quietly walking around the inside circuit two ladies passed me. They were elderly and they were walking much faster than me and they were talking and laughing loudly togeter. A few laps latter they past me again. And they stoped at the water bar to keep on talking. When I walk pass them they came to talk and walk with me.

They seem like nice ladies so when they started to talked to me, I answered. They were suprised to see me there in the morning and bla bla bla. So they asked me if I had a day of or if my shift work was latter today or where I was working. So I answered : no, no, and nowhere. Thats when they started to tell me that I was a shame, that young healty people should be working, that living as a state beneficery I should be ashamed. I told them that I was NOT a state beneficery, that my husband is working and that I am not working at the moment because I sick. They told me that I dont look sick, and they started to walk at there pace talking about people that fakes and how it make them mad.

I left the health center crying. I need to go to walk and loose some weight, but now I'm affraid of meeting more people like that or those two ladies again.

I'm tired of people like that. I don't fake. I would be working if I could. I have a bussy schedule even if I don't work outside the house!

I have two kids, a husband, a cat, a dog, and a house to take care of.

On Sunday : I teach sunday school at church for 1h, and then I accompaing my kids (and sit on the bleacher) to there Tea Kwon Do leson for two hours.
On Monday : I have to go with my youngest to her art leson for an hour.
On tuesday : I have to do the same with my eldest.
On wenesday : I have art class for myself (I need to be around people that love drawing as much as I do) with elderly people. And then my kids have there swiming leson for two hours.
On thursday : It's Tea Kwon Do for my kids again for two hours and then I have Tai Chi for two hours (my doctor told me to do a light workout beside walking).
On friday : Pool again.
On saturday : Nothing there but it's game board night with all the family.

Even on days where I think my head would split open I can't change that schedule, even if I feel weak and ready to faint I don't derogate...
I tried not long ago a part time job and I lost consciousness at work and I ended in the hospital for a week.

I wonder why people don't get it! My week as it now is sometime already to much for me!
I'm going to meet a Nurosurgeon in two days I wonder what he is going to tell me!

Thank you to have read my journal entry, I needed to vent, to rant.

Post a Comment
1032715 tn?1315984234
by narla, Oct 25, 2011
It is nobodies business except yours and your husbands if you work or not,I didn't work because I chose to be a stay at home mum,my mother worked and I hated it she missed everything I did at school,and never watched me play netball,which I played for 13 years.
People need to mind their own business,and concentrate on their own lives,I'm sure they aren't perfect.

Good luck with the Neurosurgeon.


1032715 tn?1315984234
by narla, Oct 25, 2011
It is nobodies business except yours and your husbands if you work or not,I didn't work because I chose to be a stay at home mum,my mother worked and I hated it she missed everything I did at school,and never watched me play netball,which I played for 13 years.
People need to mind their own business,and concentrate on their own lives,I'm sure they aren't perfect.

Good luck with the Neurosurgeon.


1827123 tn?1383865276
by jiggle93, Oct 26, 2011
Everyone likes to think they know best how to tell someone else how to run their life because it takes the focus off of all the things wrong in their own. I agree, with Denise. Its no one elses business. The most important job is to make sure you aretaking care of yourself so you can be a wife and a mother! That looks different for everyone- so dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
And as for walking in public- get your self an ipod and slap those earphones in. Just smile and wave, dont bother to ingage. You are there for you, dont let people like that take away your ME TIME!!!
:) Jiggle93

Avatar universal
by net72, Oct 27, 2011
hey there... i need to vent too!! dito dito dito!!! you saved me a lot of time!!! you are not alone! i have symptomatic chiari, i am a mother of two and have a  hubby... may as well make it three...hee hee!! and to boot my son also had symptmatic chiari...he had the decompression a yr ago...and still had life-altering, injury prone seizures to constantly worried and going to drs and getting tests for him and getting called to the school on top of dealing wth the havoc the  pills are taking on him. I used to work 4 10 hr days AND get all the household stuff done and take care of kids and drs etc... and now i am home and i seem to do just as much if not more!!  hats off to you..youre doing fine...the hec with those who dont get it ..they never will... and what they dont realize is that simply doing a couple loads of laundry is enough to make you feel like youve worked an entire day on your feet!!...i still "look good" on the outside(except for atrophy ) and i am stubborn as they have to get out there and excercise when ever your body lets you..its called not quitting..if someone sees it otherwise what...ppl dont understand that that is often the ONLY thing you can do once youre done!! had the same problems with work..its not that you cant sometimes, but it sure does take a lot out of you, and ppl dont get that....sad thing is..neithr do any of the drs ive seen so far.. it gets harder to be taken seriously as an adult for sure...thank God we caught my sons early and had pediatric physicians!! they work harder at helping and trying to  understand in the chiari diagnoses...and blew him off a lot less,..yet sadly now that we have the seizures to deal with ..its right back to being a number...praying for all of us.....peace

1755089 tn?1376053555
by drewlevas, Oct 28, 2011
Thank you Narla, jiggle93 and net72. You make me feel better. I'll have to take courage, buy myself an ipod (good idea) and get back (when I feel I can do it) to the health center and walk the inside circuit. Cold weater is almost back and I dont do good in subzero temperatures!!!

Avatar universal
by soleilsam, Nov 10, 2011
Hi. I'm new here, usually reticent. However, I had to reply to your post, as I get it and am appalled. I guess it's easier to have compassion for others than oneself.
How rude! Even if you were receiving help from the state, that is none of any one's business. Just becasue you don't look sick (the same could be said for those with some types of cancer), doesn't mean a thing. Their unsolicited advise was *so* uncalled for. And just that-unsolicited.
I have experienced this for a long time, as well. I don't like what it's done to me-it's made me misanthropic. A few catch phrases to keep in mind may make you feel less vulnerable to attack.
"It's really none of your concern," "It doesn't concern you," "How does this affect you," etc., are ones I would start with. Meanwhile, you know the deal. That's what matters, but I know how much this judgemental BS can hurt. I'm glad your husband is supportive.
A lot of people who don't look sick are sick. Who are they to judge? You don't have to answer to them (re: welfare) or explain yourself. They were out of line. You could have launched into a diatribe about crochety old ladies, but you have more class. ;)

Avatar universal
by areinhart, Dec 29, 2011
People shouldn't be judging if they don't know what u r going through!

Avatar universal
by smileynow, Jan 15, 2012
People should mind their own business!  You are doing the best you can!  Maybe some people have perfect health and no physical ailments and a high level of energy and so they can take care of their homes, pets, kids, etc. and work outside of the home.  Good for them.  Many days I wish I were one of them, but life hasn’t turned out that way for me.  Maybe I will regain my health and be able to work again.  Meanwhile, I have 3 piles of mail to go through and it is 9:30 p.m..  I am glad you vented, it saves me the time.  I don’t have Chiari malformation, but have had other health issues that have taken the life out of me.  I don’t like it one bit.  I am working hard to regain my health and life is hard enough without being around judgmental ignorant people such as the ones you encountered.  Avoid them like the plague!  
Also, the comment above –“How does this concern you?”  is a good one.  Thank you for your contribution.  I will be using it when necessary.

You all have my good wishes!  

Post a Comment