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Nov 10, 2011 - 13 comments

Trying to conceive is consuming my mind body and soul basically my life and relationship... N I HATE IT... We argue because Im almost always extremely upset when I think about not being pregnant I wanna be pregnant so bad I just can't understand for the life of me why it's so hard I h e four boys and I'm very grateful all I hope an pray for is a little GIRL. Some people might call me selfish but I don't want another boy and if that was to happen I would be sad call me what you want but I'm just saying how I feel I know lots of women hope just to be pregnant with a healthy baby but no not me not saying I don't want a healthy baby I also want a baby girl. I don't know what it is I've never tried to get pregnant and the one time I do it's taking forever and a day

It's like I went from fertile myrtle to infertile, what the HELL is going on with my body. I've had all the test doctor/re says I'm fine so why can't I get pregnant, I'm even on clomid... I feel like crawling under a rock and dying:-{. Db seems to think its not happening because I'm pushing and planning for it only having sex when I know I'm ovulating. He was checked and everything came back NORMAL so when pregnancy is the topic of conversation between us two he always screams he's NORMAL!!!


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1676569 tn?1390274553
by Yanna26, Nov 10, 2011
I feel like its never going 2 happen for me and I dont have any so I think if it doesnt happen soon im gonna stop trying all 2gether :-(

1418198 tn?1483277496
by Rellyrell, Nov 10, 2011
Aww I hope it happens for you soon are you seeing a RE or why are you doing have you been checked??

As for me I've decided to let it be it'll happen. When he wants it to so I'm going to focus on other things like furthering my education!!


1679244 tn?1375241559
by midget89, Nov 10, 2011
I dont think you're selfish at all!!!!! If i have a boy i will be grateful but i really want a girl too keep your head up <3

1351078 tn?1416313146
by retta483, Nov 10, 2011
hee hee I want a girl too I have one and five boys . After I lost he baby this year I dont care boy/girl now but If given the choice  Id chose girl <3  with my secound took 7 years and 9 months of clomid :( then I diddent have a prob to now im the same as you bfn Its been 7 cycles scence M/c for me It took 10 months to get preg with that baby and my re thinks I have enough kids :(  keep on keeping on it will pay off :) preaying for you xx SSBD

1418198 tn?1483277496
by Rellyrell, Nov 10, 2011
Thank you I'm trying!!!

1418198 tn?1483277496
by Rellyrell, Nov 10, 2011
@ retta thank you so much, I'll continue to pray for you also!!!

1816154 tn?1463430018
by hansen20, Nov 11, 2011
i hear you its but like you, i went from being fertile myrtle and after my miscarrage its like im infertile because all i do is think about it and now i try not to but i just do. i had the miscarrage in july and result in a D&C because i could not miscarry on my own if i wanted to because it was so attached to me is from what the doctor told me. Now its been 4 months since iv been trying. and it just seems like im not fertile no more it *****. i will pray for you. lots of baby dust to you hun.

1366197 tn?1394587311
by JoJo629, Nov 11, 2011
i know what you mean, i would've had gender disappointment if this one was a boy too.  I already have 2 boys and i know this one's probably my last so i desperately wanted a girl.

1152782 tn?1451101426
by ConnieG, Nov 11, 2011
If it helps. My boss had 4 boys. His wife really wanted a girl and baby #5 was a girl! They are so happy and excited. She's even wanting to try for another girl.
I hope you get that girl you've been wanting. I want a large family too. I don't see how wanting more children is selfish. And I can see how desiring a specific gender can make you sad when you first find out the sex, but I know you will love the baby whether it's a girl or a boy (with special emphasis towards a girl ;) )
But I do know the sting of infertility and no matter how many children you have, when there is a whole in your heart only a child will fill, the sting is strong. I really pray that you get that baby #5 soon! Hugs to you. I hope that you can find a place of peace where TTC isn't so consuming.

647911 tn?1373314647
by nic374, Nov 11, 2011
I have had 3 girls and i would love one day to have a boy :)

134578 tn?1642048000
by AnnieBrooke, Nov 11, 2011
I'd do a couple of things in your shoes.  My ob-gyn practice has a person on staff whose only job is to counsel people about infertility issues.  I went to her and boy, did it help.  It gave me someone nonjudgmental to talk to (when my husband was sick of hearing about it and my family was unsympathetic -- secondary infertility is like that) and it also gave me a framework to understand the sources of my strong desire for another child, which was really important for me to examine.  You might see if you can find a counselor specializing in fertility issues, by asking your doctor.  It can help a whole ton, and will reduce the fighting with your husband.

The other thing is, and I know you don't want to hear it, you could look into adoption, specifically a girl.  In particular if you are willing to consider a child who is not a baby, or even if you are willing to consider a sibling group, there are opportunities out there even in this day & age of birth control.  Like I said, I would have rejected this idea out of hand when I was coping with my last miscarriage, but now it doesn't sound so uninteresting.  And in your case, wanting a girl so much that you don't even want another child if it's a boy, you might consider adopting for the certainty on that issue.

Good luck in any case.  :)

1418198 tn?1483277496
by Rellyrell, Nov 11, 2011
@ Anniebrooke I've thought about adopting a girl but it's something about it be my only daughter if I were to ever get preggo and it be a girl ..... I would want to see if she looks like me or even act like me also her personality but I might just look into that I was but then I stopped when all types of thoughts ran through my head!!!

@ nic374 I have four I'll even let you pic which one u want, jk/jk I love my boys they are momma boys and I wouldn't have it any other way or wouldn't trade them for the world!! GOOD LUCK ON GETTING THAT BOY

@ Jojo I'm happy that you was able to get that girl, CONGRATS!!!

@Connieg yes there is like a big black whole in my heart even though I have boys it's like I long for that girl I totally feel out numbered with all the male testosterone in my house if I had a girl I would be so happy I jut wonder what she would look like or who would she act like an what her name would be... O btw Ive almost fell in luv with the name PHEONIX!!! DB names is Prince and I wouldn't dare name my daughter princess.....

Thx ladies for the encouraging words!!!


Avatar universal
by Girlmaz, Nov 28, 2011
I'm am in a similar boat for secondary infertilty. I have. Beautiful 10yr old boy with my ex husband. I have since remarried my best friend and soulmate. Our baby Baxter was born asleep at 30 weeks last year. I fell pregnant straight away and mc at 8 weeks. Since then I have nothing. All tests say I'm fine and I started clomid this month for a possible luteal phase defect. I too have gone from fertile Myrtle to nothing. We also mc before Baxter due to my gall bladder packing up. I would love a little girl as I'm scared of the memories and guilt I may feel carrying another boy. I know they are irrational but they are there. I never in a million years thought I would be that girl. I feel like a new idea article. As if suffering a stillbirth wasn't enough. I've done the hard yards I even grew a baby and still a year and a half later bloody nothing. And switching off baby making mode is bloody impossible, and I try.

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