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Confused about gender of my baby

Nov 25, 2011 - 13 comments

Ok so at the begining of my pregnancy I had no gender prefrence at all. At 18 weeks I found out it was a girl! My husband has 2 boys from a previous relationship , so we were both so excited that we were geting a little princess. Anyway at my 20 week anatomy screen the tech says congrats on your little boy! Wow we were both in shock. There is definetly a penis. Ok but our picture from the 18 wk scan there is clearly a vagina! I don't understand how a penis suddenly appeared in 2 weeks. So Im having aa little boy. I feel horrible for saying this but I was a little let down after being so excited it was a girl. Im mad at myself for feeling this way because I have lost so many babies before this pregnancy. Either way the baby will be loved and appreciated I just wish I could get my excitement back. Any thoughts?

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Avatar universal
by Makkers88, Nov 25, 2011
I felt the same when i found out mine was a little boy! Nothing to be mad at yourself about. The way i thought of it was that the whole time i thought he was going to be a girl i'd imagine what she'd look like and names and the things we'd do together when she was older. So for me the sadness and let down feeling was more about the loss of what i'd though it would be like and i realised it was nothing really to do with how i felt about the baby. It was just about letting go of those thoughts and ideas i'd hoped for when i though he was a girl and making new ones knowing he was going to be a boy. Hope you feel better soon x

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by RockRose, Nov 25, 2011
Tx gurl.  I'm in Texas too.  I have 3 boys.  

When I went in for my sono on my 3rd boy,  I was feeling SO FEARFUL for some reason that my baby wasn't healthy.  So when the tech was setting the whole sonogram thing, we said we had two boys and were hoping for a girl,  and in the sono it turned out to be a VERY healthy and active boy,  my husband and I were in tears of joy  looking at him and pointing out how beautiful and active he was,  and hugging each other,  feeling SO blessed.  The sonographer and OB commented on how rare we were,  couples walk out there trying to comfort each other in the sadness that they  got the wrong gender.  I REALLY don't get that.  REALLY.

I'm not trying to criticize you as much as I'm trying to bring you back in to reality - you have a healthy baby!  And if luck is with you,  you will skip through the pain of girl's adolescence and go on to have delightful daughters in law and lovely grand daughters.  

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by AnnieBrooke, Nov 26, 2011
Plus, if nobody has mentioned this to you, little boys are so darn sweet.  They are loving, cuddly, caring ... you'll be amazed at how much.  Fluffy dresses do not a sweetie make, and little boys are just as capable or even more, of loving mommy and daddy so hard it will melt your heart.

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by xx_Louise_xx, Nov 26, 2011
I agree with Annie, boys are such fun! So much that im slightly hoping for another boy hehe!! My little boy melts my heart everyday... whatever the sex, you know they'll be loved, and you'll be loved unconditionally in return! :)

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by adgal, Nov 26, 2011
If you had no gender preference initially, it's probably got more to do with the change in what you were expecting after the first ultrasound.  You allowed yourself to get excited about a girl, then found out that wasn't the case.  Had it been the other way around - thinking it was a boy, getting excited about all the reasons a boy fit into your family perfectly - then found out it was a girl, I bet it would have been the same.  Go easy on yourself.  As you said, this baby will be loved and cherished no matter what the gender.  And I agree with Annie...boy are wonderful!  I'm pregnant right now with a threatened pregnancy.  I can find 100 reasons I would love it to be another boy, and 100 reasons it would be fantastic to be a little girl.  Your excitement will return.  You just need to get used to the idea.

377493 tn?1356505749
by adgal, Nov 26, 2011
If you had no gender preference initially, it's probably got more to do with the change in what you were expecting after the first ultrasound.  You allowed yourself to get excited about a girl, then found out that wasn't the case.  Had it been the other way around - thinking it was a boy, getting excited about all the reasons a boy fit into your family perfectly - then found out it was a girl, I bet it would have been the same.  Go easy on yourself.  As you said, this baby will be loved and cherished no matter what the gender.  And I agree with Annie...boy are wonderful!  I'm pregnant right now with a threatened pregnancy.  I can find 100 reasons I would love it to be another boy, and 100 reasons it would be fantastic to be a little girl.  Your excitement will return.  You just need to get used to the idea.

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by Rellyrell, Nov 26, 2011
I agree with adgal you just have to get used to the idea of another boy as you had already set your mind on a GIRL... I have four boys and as much as I wanna be pregnant it's much fear in me that when I do get pregnant that it'll be another boy and I'm not gonna lie as much as I want a healthy baby I only would like a baby GIRL, that's why I think the lord hasn't blessed me with a BFP yet because he's trying to prepare me with the fact that it most likely could be another baby boy that I would love unconditionally!!!

When that baby boy come that the thought of a little girl will pass hell have two older brothers to play with and protect him!!!

They say mommas boy and daddy's girls!!!!

Avatar universal
by Echo30, Nov 26, 2011
omg I can't even tell you how AWESOME baby boys are!!!!!! First off, I don't judge you for feeling the way you do AT ALL because like Adgal said its probably just the shock and shift you have to go through in thinking differently now. And I also know that you are grateful that he's healthy and happy and you wouldn't replace that for the WORLD!  
but this is kinda why I have never found out the gender and don't actually think people should. That exact moment when you see your baby for the first time is like NOTHING you will ever feel again! You shouldn't have to talk yourself down from feeling a certain way about the gender because NOTHING should tarnish that moment you will have with him/her. I get what you must be going through now and all I can say is that baby boys are such an amazing gift from God to their momma's.  You will absolutely LOVE it!!!!! I know how you feel too about a certain gender because of your husband already having two, but each and every child is so so special in his or her own way and this is your FIRST child together and that's is such a gift you should cherish, and your husband will too!!!!    

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by txgurl4real, Nov 27, 2011
Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. Your all absolutly right and my excitment is returning. I guess its just as adgal put it, its just the change that got to me I would have felt the same way if I was expecting a boy then it was change to a girl after I got used to the idea of having a boy. We already love this little fellow so much and are so happy that he is healthy. :)

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by JoJo629, Nov 28, 2011
Dont feel bad!  You were picturing a baby girl, and now shes a boy.  I was told i was having a girl and when "she" was born with a penis i was devastated!  I KNOW that if i would've been told he was a boy then he came out a she i would've been just as disappointed.  

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by FairyGirl15, Nov 28, 2011
That would have been horrible if you had already bought a lot of pink items. One of my cousins was told she was going to have a little girl and ended up having a boy. She had to take back all of her pink girly clothes and redo the nursary. I bet that was a hassle. Congradulations on your little baby, regardless the gender ;)

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by snuggles4291860, Dec 01, 2011
i hope and pray that my baby will still be a girl at the next ultrasound. i did mine at 21 weeks i hold off till then to make sure it would be clearer.  i praying cause i have everything ready and in place. hope all is well. Congrats on your healthy baby regardless of sex.

1355431 tn?1369978906
by txgurl4real, Dec 05, 2011
Thanks :)


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