Dec 23, 2011
So as some of you know, I was scheduled to be induced on the 12th of December. We didn't get to check in until around 6:30 p.m. and they started the Cytotek (spelling?) around 8 p.m. where they insert 1/4 a pill vaginally every 4 hours. They told me sometimes this starts contractions/labor by itself but if it didn't, they'd start me on petocin (spelling?) at 7 a.m. on the 13th of December.
I got a sleeping med around 9 p.m. and I remember them coming in around midnight for the second Cytotek dose but my husband said only about 30 minutes later, I started having contractions and was in pain. I don't know if I was in so much pain or was so sleepy or both but I don't recall much of this part except it hurt a lot yet I was still able to actually doze off between contractions -- the nurses and doctor were impressed! In any case, I was going to try for a natural birth but around 5 cm, I asked for some pain medicine (but not an epidural). They gave me some and, again, I don't recall much except I don't think things got any better aside from me feeling even more out of it than before. I think at this point it was around 5 or 6 a.m. and they said I was at 8 cm. I asked if it was too late for an epidural and they had to check since I was close but they ended up approving it and I felt SO much better (duh)!
However, the epidural, as I'd been warned on MH, worked so well, I couldn't feel when it was time to actually push. I tried and I tried for 3 or 4 hours of pushing but the baby was barely moving down, the epidural was wearing off, and my doctor came in to talk to me about the dangers of shoulder distortion if we proceeded vaginally. He said we could keep trying, and they could maybe even do another epidural, but he would only advise about another 30 minutes of pushing because it was putting some stress on the baby. He was great in acknowledging that he knew I wasn't thrilled about a c-section and that it was my choice. My husband and I talked briefly and decided to not risk anything else in regard to our baby and settled on the c-section.
At this point, it was around 1 p.m. on the 13th when I went into the operating room and I was very out of it still. A doctor came in to administer whatever it is they give you to numb you for a c-section and, of course, I couldn't feel a thing. My husband was by my side most of the time (they made him wait while they set some things up I guess plus he had to put scrubs on over his clothes) and at some point, I started shivering like crazy with my teeth chattering and all (apparently this is a normal reaction to major surgery). I just could not get warm so I couldn't focus on anything but trying to control my shaking upper half!
Not too long later though, I heard the medical staff talk about the baby and her good size and they held her up over the curtain so Luke and I could see her. She was beautiful (with a little bit of a conehead) and TONS of dark hair like her daddy! My doctor jokingly said, "Hey mom! Look at my head!" And Luke and I laughed. They took her back and got her crying and that's when I started to cry with relief and happiness. My husband said his eyes welled up too but I couldn't tell since I was still shaking and crying myself. They weighed her in at 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 21 3/4 inches long. Dad went with them and the baby and they finished up with me and got me into the recovery area where Luke was waiting with our baby under a warming light. She was already ready to eat and I was able to nurse her right away -- she latched so well which was something I was worrying about leading up to this!
Since I finally got to take a look at her then, Luke and I decided that the name we had picked out before she was born was a good fit for her and named her Morgan Olivia. Coincidentally, my OB's name is Dr. James Morgan and his nurses thought we named our daughter after him. We didn't, but that's okay, he can think that because he was a great doctor and we have a beautiful baby girl to show for all the years of heartache and waiting that we went through. :)
Thank you all for your positive messages, thoughts, and prayers in getting us through this time. I know I came to MH right before we conceived (after 3 years of trying) so you didn't see the darkest of my days in the TTC battle but it was very real and very trying. It has helped me heal by being able to be there for those of you still trying and I wish I could tell you when and if it is going to happen for each one of you because I know it doesn't make sense and sometimes the pain is just unbearable. Please try and hang in there though because there is meaning in each of our lives, even if we don't get to be parents I think. I know it's easier said than done now that we have our baby but know you are loved and that sometimes we just have to wait for the answers to our prayers. Thank you again for all you've done for me and I hope to continue to be a resource for those who need it and am so excited to the good news that will come to you over the next days, weeks, months, or years. It is worth the wait and I pray that your wait ends soon.