Jan 06, 2012
(Week 19 w/Victrelis)
Today I am itching, itching, itching. From my scalp to my heels, but mostly on the back of me, so back of legs, arms, torso. Even my ears are itchy now. And although I'm sure this is Nothing compared to the Incivek rash, it is still driving me bonkers and making me cranky. I initially thought it was from Procrit but doc said it's the RIBA. This started when my RIBA was slightly increased, so it almost feels like I am at square one, but worse. Before (week 2 or so), the itch was a small area and would move around and/or cease, after 2 days. This time, however, it is covering more of me. No visible rash, just itch. Benadryl is not my friend. Makes me feel like a zombie and barely cut the edge off the itch. I will be trying a few more things tonight and over the weekend. Will seek out a Dermatologist next week. Having this side now, when I am so far along, just doesn't seem right. Pisses me off.
My insurance dropped my medical facility at the end of 2011. I called today to fill out the form so my tx would continue without interruption. But found out that while it is being processed, I would not be covered but would be reimbursed later. Gee. Like I have thousands of dollars lying around. I even mentioned my concern about going into the hospital for an emergency, in that time. I got the same answer. Finally got them to expedit the approval because I tried to apply in early December but was told, by my insurance, I had to wait until after Jan 1st. UGH!! Somehow, I knew it was going to be an issue. And on a day like today, when I am itchy and cranky...... not happy. Hopefully things will run smoothly from here on out, but it still means I may be looking at even more doctor changes, so I will have full coverage. I did my time of 50/50, 70/30, 80/20 coverage. The out of pocket really adds up quickly, and takes a toll big time.
I take 336 pills of VIC each month + whatever the heck I take for RIBA + 19 injections of Pegasys so far. Some days, the weight of that gets to me and tries to pull me down in a dark hole, but I do my best to fight back. Some days I win, some days, not so much. It is a tiring routine that I am praying gets me well. I do not want to have to do this again. As it is, I will more than likely be treating longer than planned. It's complicated, private, all that fun stuff. But this is a New Year. Time to move my focus to other things. But it is hard to focus on other things when the light at the end of the tunnel just moved back and out of sight, around the corner.
Breathing, breathing, breathing.
For the days I feel I cannot stand....I know the Lord is carrying me through. But on a day like today, where I want to go running down the street screaming but can't.....I come here to vent. Okay, gotta do some LOL movie therapy this weekend for sure.