Jan 14, 2012
Wow life can be funny sometimes.
We tried for 3 years to have Marek. Now that he is going to be a year old later this month, we decided that maybe we should start trying again since it took us so long the first time. Since Marek has been born, we have had sex twice... yes TWICE in the past year. We bd'd once this past month at a time that I thought would be too early to result in a pregnancy (I think it was CD 8 or 9). On a whim I picked up some HPTs at the dollar store, and guess what.... after years of trying for Marek and an IUI, we are pregnant on our own after our first try.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure how I feel - I think it's going to take a bit for me to adjust to the idea of having another baby. I am so shocked - I'm sure once the shock wears off all will be well. I just HATE the thought of having a baby growing in my body while I have mixed emotions... it's just not fair to the baby. What if she can feel that mom is having a bit of trouble. I'm also a little sad that i will be giving up my one on one time with Marek. I just love him so much and he is such an amazing little boy. I feel that he deserves more than I will be able to give him. I'm not sure that I'm that great of a parent with one baby - not sure how I will handle two.
We have had such wonderful family support with Marek... our parents are over all the time to watch Marek. I'm also pretty scared that 2 little ones will be too much for them to handle and everyone will stay away - leaving me on my own while damian works out of town.
I know I am getting way ahead of myself here.... but when that second line appears on the hpt - the next 20 years of life flashes before your eyes and I'm hoping and praying that Im up for the challenge.
DH isnt thrilled right now. The poor guy didnt get to have sex while I was pg with Marek because I was bleeding. And since marek was born we have only had sex twice - the second time resulting in a pregnancy. I guess
Life is so strange.
I remember one of the ladies on here got pg right away after having her first and was complaining about it. I was SO mad at her... I thought "how dare she come on this forum and complain about being pregnant while I would give my right arm for a baby!" For the record, I am not complaining - I am just scared, and shocked, and ok - really scared. (and sad for Marek, and sad for the loss of having him as my one and only because he is so darn sweet)
And that is my rant for the day.