Feb 26, 2012
I want to write FICTION!! NOT articles for some s h i t newspaper or a stupid flipping magazine. I do not want to write lab reports, research papers, creative non-fiction, biographies, brochures, instruction booklets, or ANYTHING other than MY books which I ALREADY WRITE. I do not want to be a teacher. I do not want to be an engineer, a pilot, a carpenter, or anything else that career assessments tell me I should be. I do not want to have to pay more money for four years of college than I'll earn in ten years with a degree. I do not want to go into business, law, or music, as I am not good at any of them and would not make any money. I do not want to "change the world". I do not want to be a chemist, mathemetician, or anything else. I do not want to be anything except for me, the fiction writer! I'd like to be good at somehting else, really I would, but I'm not. I'm not good at anything else, and as soon as everyone else accepts that, the sooner they'll all stop harrassing me to get a job EVEN THOUGH I'm already a full-time student with barely enough free time to get done what I should and to have a boyfriend, who is the only person on earth keeping me sane right now. God, I just hate it allllllllll........... Ugh. It's so hopelesssssssss. I hate school sooo much and it reaps me of my happiness and creativity and all hopes for the future. If school is supposed to prepare you for the future then why do I feel like I don't have one? Wah, I just want to melt into myself and disappear.