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The More Dreadful Two Week Wait

Mar 10, 2012 - 2 comments

Everyone dreads the 2 week wait when they are obsessed with the "what if I am pregnant" or the" darn I don't feel any symptoms so I must not be pregnant". Of course there is also all the analyzing every little thing that could possibly be a symptom and going on line to compare how they are feeling to how other women felt when they were or weren't pregnant. It is enough to drive someone crazy.

Last May when I successfully conceived after my first IUI I learned there was an even more dreadful 2 week wait, and that is the 2 weeks from when you first get that BFP at about 4 weeks along until the first ultrasound that usually takes place when you are about 6 weeks along. I was so happy to get that BFP last May. Then I went in for my first beta and got awesome numbers, so again I was so excited, but then nervous for the 2nd beta. The 2nd beta again was awesome and my numbers had more than doubled. So the next step was the ultrasound. That is where my joy and excitement was crushed. Despite the great beta numbers my baby had implanted but never really began to develop. They did another beta and it was higher than my 2nd beta but not as high as it should have been so what I was suffering from was a blighted ovum, or a missed miscarriage.

Now that I once again got my BFP I am really excited. I have noticed that I am not really celebrating it as much as I did last time. I believe that is because for me, the real celebration will only come when I see a healthy heart beat.

This brings me back to the more dreadful 2 week wait. I figure my first ultrasound will be sometime around March 22nd. I haven't even had my first beta yet but due to my past experience, I am not as concerned about the betas as I am about the ultrasound. For the most part, I am staying positive and keeping in mind that there is a much better chance for a successful pregnancy this time. With my IUI pregnancy the clomid made me ovulate almost a whole week late and then a blood test several days after ovulation showed my progesteron wasn't as high as they would have liked it to be. I have read that late ovulation and/or low progesteron can cause a blighted ovum. The progesteron suppositories I am using now should prevent the low progesteron issue. Another thing that can cause a blighted ovum it is an egg that did not fertilize properly. Out of the 20 eggs that they retrieved during my IVF, 12 fertilized beautifully and they used 2 of those for my 5 day transfer. They said out of the other 8 some did not fertilize and some fertilized irregularly so I know they weeded out the bad ones (and yes I know this doesn't guarantee that the embryos used where perfect). Before I started the IVF they did a HSN to make sure I didn't have any fibroid's or anything else that would prevent implantation, so I feel better having this knowledge. I am also having a ton of symptoms. I am nauseous off and on all day long, I am bloated, I get warm easier and it take me longer to cool down, my sense of smell is very heightened, I am having sore mid to upper back, and very sore breasts. So although most of the time I am positive, I find that things that are probably nothing will start to make me worry a little bit. Once in a while for a short period of time I will have none of these symptoms (except the bloating) and then I will start to worry. Or I will notice that even though my breasts are really sore, they just might be a little less sore than they were the night before. Also, because I was so stimulated I get some soreness and a little cramping in my ovary area, which when I am being sane I know this is normal. Of course when I am in my little worry wart mode I start to wonder if the pains could be something worse.

Knowing what I do about the more dreadful two week wait, I actually breezed through the first 2 week wait calmly and staying positive (although the last couple days I did start to get anxious to test early). Considering my experience back in May, I feel that I am handling this more dreadful two week wait better than I would have expected. I just know it will be a huge relief to see a healthy heart(s) beat. When I see that, I know I am still not 100% in the clear, but I will still finally be able to really celebrate this pregnancy. Only about 12 more days to go. Stick baby(ies) and grow!!!

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by beddajess, Mar 10, 2012
Awwwwe Renny,

First, you deserve a BIG BEAR HUG!! Your journal really made sense and tugged at my heart strings for you. I remember what you went through last year and reading this made it all fresh. I can't even begin to imagine the worry that lays on your heart n mind. You are such a strong women Renny and your attitude is so positive and so real. I appreciate that about you. Ya know, I appreciate the fact that you are willing to share your most intimate feelings about what you are enduring because it helps so many women like me on here who are like you said either in the 2ww for a bfp or for an u/s or what have you.

I just want you to know that I think about you often as these days goes by and I pray deep in my heart for you that your baby(ies) will stick perfectly and grow perfectly! You deserve this to be a successful pregnancy and I believe in my heart that this time, it will be. But I know that is not enough to ease your worried mind. So I also pray that God brings you peace during this 2ww because no women should be deprived from being excited about the miracle(s) growing inside of her. I can only hope the next 2 weeks fly by for us both. It seems like everything has lined up so perfectly for the both of us that it is scary to even begin to think it could all work out just right. But I will tell you that God knows our hearts and we both will be the Mother's we were meant to be =).

Keep your faith strong Renny and I will do the same. I am here for you for anything I can be! SSBD!!

Jess <3

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by prayin4miracle, Mar 28, 2012
I am so so so happy for you!!! I haven't been on here in a while and thought I would check up on everyone's progress and when I saw you got you BFP I was like "yay!!" so naturally I had to write you!
I get where you are coming from not wanting to celebrate too much, I was the same way... I didn't really ease up until the 3 rd trimester at week 36/37 ... that is when I sighed a sigh of relief... and it is so hard to wait for each test, to get the number the ultra sounds OMG! it is so nerve wrecking.... BUT I believe this is your time.... embrace it!!

I am so happy for you and congrats... please keep me updated!!

lots O love

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