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Full panic

Mar 26, 2012 - 0 comments

Thinking about heart problems before I went to sleep caused me to wake up not in panic but wake up with my heart racing..

20 mins after I wake then I went into panic because I felt some type of jolting pain in my chest.. I don't like the panic feeling I get so it caused me to panic more..

Thank goodness my fiance came home from work and caught me crying because it made me beable to get it out and stop crying. (thanks babe do much got being here for me)

Even though I'm done crunch I'm still having uncomfortable chest pain and still worried.. Do now I'm up and can't freaking sleep.. But I'm do so tired have to get up and go to work tomorrow..

I know today was a bad day after two good days. Had argument with my fiance mothers boyfriend and it spiraled out of control after that.. Boy that man.. Anyhow I want to go to sleep but will I be able to sleep.. I'm so sick of this crap.. I just want to get better.

Us this my life?? Will it be this way forever?? Should I take my meds and get hooked on them?? Idk there is a lot on my mind right now. Going out of town this weekend and can't have this going on and its freaking me out because I know its not going away that fast..

I love my family and friends and my life but its hard to show it when you feel like crap all the time.. I'm gonna find nw dr and get this physiatrist apt sooner hopefully because I'm lousy and at my wits end.. Thought I was doing ok til this happened tonight. But I also know watching one of my shows I loved so much came on today and it could have triggered this..

Anyhow I'm going to try to get some sleep.. Love and rockets journal..

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