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Anxiety Last Night

Mar 30, 2012 - 1 comments

Had an anxiety filled night which I expected. I thought of Dad during the night and I really felt lost and confused. I cant believe he is gone. This just has to be at the core of my anxiety right now.

After his death, I didnt think or feel much of his loss. I think I was just ignoring it and living in denial. Well, I can feel it now whenever I think of him and it is very upsetting to say the least. That is why this episode of anxiety is so tough.

Anxiety high today. Calmed down a little bit later on in the day.

Anxiety/Panic Tracker
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by Beautiful_Diaster, Mar 30, 2012
Its weird how our triggers are so similar. I have come to realized that the death of my grandmother(who raised me) is my trigger. When the doctor told me that I had high blood pressure it made my anxiety shoot through the roof. My grandmother had hbp, diabetes, and kidney failure and went to dialysis 3 days a week. When she passed I took it hard but then I got back to me. Sometimes I wake up so distraught that it scares me. The hurt is still so fresh even though it was 8 years March 15th.

Now Im so concious of my health, every ache and pain, every heart flutter. Im tryin to beat it but I think I really need therapy. I refuse to let anxiety get the best of my but this drownin feelin just wont let up. Meditation music and a 15 minute grievin period really helps me. Cry, sceam, lash out or whatever you have to do to relase the pain and then move on to something else. You're hurtin cause you haven't allowed yourself to heal from the loss of your father.

Keep faith and trust that everything will be okay. Praying for your piece of heart and mind.
Shan:)

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