All Journal Entries Journals

Anxiety about breast milk...

Apr 16, 2012 - 1 comments

Okay- I just need to write and see if I can get this figured out.

Back story is my girls were in the NICU and Ihave never really been able to bf they are now 4 months old.  In the NICU they want your breast milk but they want you to pump it so they can measure it.  I have tried and tried but my babies got used to the flow of a bottle and do not have the patience to latch most of the time.  If I catch them in just the right mood I can get them to bf.  There was a time when this was working pretty well.  So I pump a few times a day.  I quit pumping over night bc my production has dropped.  I am only getting a couple of bottles a day now.  

SO- I need to decide what I am doing.  I do not want to pay to rent the hospital pump anymore- it is $75 per month so I want to decide soon.  It is time to let myself dry out?  My production has dropped.   It would be nice not to have to pump- there are lots of things I could be doing with that time and it is never convenient.  I swear my girls have radar and the minute the pump starts they fuss!!!!!  OR do I buy a pump- even if I spend $70-$130 it is still less than what I will pay in rental fees.  Two of my friends used the mipump and it is only $70- they both loved it- I think I prefer the $130 Lanisol since it is a closed system.  BUT if I am losing my supply is that a waste?

I know breast milk is best for the girls- I hate that I am sooooo frustrated about this.  I want to do what is best for my girls.  I never really thought I would go beyond 6 months with breast milk- so is stopping 2 months early okay.  I feel so much guilt about wanting to stop- but my body may be stopping inspite of my wishes!

argh.  Iam still just as confused as when I sat down to write this!

Post a Comment
1160986 tn?1486823325
by Hopefulcb, Apr 16, 2012
That is such a hard decision! As you know I went through this at around 1 month when I had a very low milk supply. I tried to increase it with nursing, pumping, medications to no avail. I was getting so frustrated because I really wanted to BF and Chloe had a really good latch but she just wasn't getting enough. I felt so guilty wanting to switch to formula only but after trying everything there is little I could do. So, I made the switch and am happy I did because I began to enjoy her more and feel less anxious about BF.
My advice to you would be to make sure you give it your all before you switch so that you will be ok with the decision. Sometimes our body just doesn't cooperate and it's not your fault so just go with it and know that your daughters will also be fine with formula.
Good luck and keep us posted.

Post a Comment