May 02, 2012
I just got back yesterday from a much needed vacation. I went to NJ to my cousins wedding. I haven't seen my cousin in 17 years since my parents moved me to FL. I love it up there the weather is so cool and crisp. I made some huge strides over this past week one of them being the plane ride. I am not afraid to fly. I am just afraid of having a panic attack on the plane which I did. It was a big one. First off all day I was anxious just nervous all day. Then when we got to the airport I was a full blown mess. We were waiting at the gate and my heart was pounding so hard. I felt like I wanted to run away.
When we were walking down that little hallway to get on the plane I couldn't see straight my head felt like it would explode which eventually gave me a headache. I was shaking and had derealization so bad i felt like I was floating. I thought for sure I was going to lose it when they sealed up the plane and started off. I didn't though. Once I realized that nothing was going to happen I started to calm down. I felt a little dizzy when the plane took of due to the motion.
I got to NJ and had a great time. I overcame a lot of anxiety on this trip and am really proud of myself. The way back was a breeze I acually fell asleep on the plane on the way home. Since I have been back though my wife and I have been fighting. It's back to reality I guess. As for my anxiety it is backing down quit a bit. I will continue to take one day at a time and today was a good day.
If there is one thing I can say to anybody with anxiety is face your fear and never run from your anxiety.It is so rewarding. If I didn't face my anxiety and get on that plane I would still be living in fear here at home. Mt confidence is very high right now and it feels really good.