All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

Addiction Books & Lies

Feb 04, 2008 - 3 comments

Books on Addiction…..

I am sick and tired of walking into “Barnes and “take all your cash” Noble” and seeing some New York Times cheesy best seller book about addiction. I think to myself, “maybe this one’s got it right”, then I flip through the pages and read some regurgitated bullsh*t written by some unknown captain doooosh bag who “knows a junkie”, or who smoked pot and did a line of coke once in college
Excuse me while I puke.

I am tired of bubble gum stories about how some guy or girl got hooked, did bad things, got straight and lived happily ever after. Anyone can write that garbage. Anyone can write a book about drug usage, but the problem with addiction books these days, even the decent ones, is, it always comes back as fiction. Or, authors who elaborate their drug use for more of a shock factor. (Remember “A Million Little Pieces?”) James Frey’s story would have been good even if some of the fabrications were left out. But it’s all about money and big sales baby. Never the truth.

Whatever happened to books about real life on drugs? About REAL ADDICTS and not fabricated naughty heroin (enter drug of choice) users.

I can read books all day about rock stars that went overkill on drugs and spent thousands on blow and now have 1.2 brain cells left. (Think Ozzy) But I can’t find one book that is about real addiction, normal everyday people, and every nasty, disgusting and putrid thing about it. I am talking seriously candid sh*t. Every month big publishing companies churn out books that make the top sellers list because mister and miss Smith want to read about "bad people who do drugs". They want to sneak the books into their 500G homes, shut the blinds, grab a glass of 300$ a bottle wine, and in their voyeuristic ways, read about junkies. Well, it's all bullsh*t that “normal” people love to read. It's all a bunch of money grubbing, hop on the band wagon idiotic “authors” (I use the term “authors” lightly here) who interview a few junkies and think they can write a book on "real addiction".

What do junkies really go through?  What goes through our heads, what motivates us to take that hit, pill, rail, etc?  I am sick of seeing sugar coated books that talk about the 12 steps. Well let me tell you, 12 steps, to me, does not pertain to what addiction is really about, only recovery. Sure it works for some people, but I don’t want to read a book that ends with the 12 step prayer.  No, tell me your story. Tell me every sordid detail. Tell me about your lover named addiction.

The only people who know about this life are junkies.

The addicts who have lived it, loved it, left it and embraced it again. People who have over dosed and lived to tell the tale. The mother’s who are on Heroin or Vicodin just to get through the day and "feel normal". Take a Xanax 5 times a day to make the anxiety go away, and who happen to also be some the best care takers in the world. (But you can’t tell the “normal’s” that, they haven’t a clue)

The 30/40 year old woman/man who thought they were going to "be something big" but resulted in using drugs to kill the pain of reality. They fantasize about what they could have been, all the while sitting in their cheap fabricated houses watching TV and still believing they are going to be someone with each pill or hit they take.The people who got into real debilitating injuries and became junkies because the dealers, aka: doctors, keep feeding them pain killers because those mother fukers don't know what the hell they are doing.

The daughter or son who was raped so they turned to a life of drugs to escape the pain. The addictive personalities who don’t know why the hell they do drugs. (Well they enjoy the high, but the root of the problem is a big void to them.) And one day, they/you wake up and wonder…what happened to me? What happened to my dream? To my soul? You have kids and are divorced once, twice, four kids with four different parents. You are paying rent instead of a mortgage. You find yourself using food stamps instead of a credit card. You are driving a 15 year old car and not a new Nissan. What the *** happened?  You can’t even compete with the Joneses. That’s how fuked up your life is.

Then you start to pay attention to self help fuks, ala Dr. Phil. You start buying addiction books by the ten’s, you start to see a shrink. They tell you to be strong and take this pill. Prozac, Paxil, Xanax. Everything will be ok if you have self affirmation. “Look inside of yourself and let it gooooooo”……the shrink who rips you to pieces to try to get to the bottom of your “issues”…fuk them all.

It comes down to this: Our stories are endless. And sadly, our voices, the voices of real addicts are rarely ever heard.

Whatever happened to authors like Hunter, Barry and Marlowe? Addicted authors who took their lives and put it on paper all very candidly? I think the only people who can understand this are the individuals on this site and other addicts who are as lost as I am. The people who grew up in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s when the world started to change for the bad, bad, bad. Teens now who can’t deal with the overwhelming pressures of whatever the hell they are going though so they turn to drugs. Divorced people who are lost, who thought marriage was the good life for them, but found out it was not meant to be with their spouses. Prostitutes who have to kill the pain with whatever they can get their hands on. There are addicts from all walks of life, but every damned addiction book out there talks about the same inane bullsh*t. Not about the real faces of addiction.

There is nobody to blame for our addictions but ourselves, but there are so many outer influences that were there for the taking. We are/were a generation of AIDS, bands that talk about decadent drug use, war, crack cocaine, Prozac, Xanax and a slew of psychological feel good drugs and not to mention massive freedom of speech.

We were shown images on the TV that penetrated our gray masses, telling us lies. Whispering in our ear, take this drug and you will be happy. A little depressed? Here’s some sh*t you can take that will make it all go away….we don’t know what it will do to you over a period of time, but that’s ok, you will feel like you’re on top of the world! Have a little back pain? Take this Norco, it will make the pain go away. Stressed at work? Xanax baby, Xanax. Don't like the way you look? Upgrade your lives with fake boobs a tummy tuck and botox.

Show me a book that tells the truth about drug use, and every single god damned thing that ties into it (abuse, society, must I go on?) And I would be shocked. I have given up on the publishing world, having written my own book I have actually found a good one, but I still believe that the best authors are on this very site. Those who have the balls to talk openly about their addiction and every horrible thing that comes with it.

This rant of mine,

is just my way of raising my middle finger to the monsters, the pushers, the Doctors who over-medicate, the shrinks who over-evaluate, the fakers, the innocent takers, and the self absorbed, but mostly to the publishing world, who like to sugar coat life. F U C K YOU.  : )

Post a Comment
401598 tn?1202135148
by JCam7777, Feb 04, 2008
Your tirade has not fallen on deaf ears. I hear exactly what you are saying. The passion jumps off my screen and I can identify with every word. The truth of the matter is the people in power do not want the normies to think that they may be susceptible to drug addiction or any addiction for that matter. They want them to believe that they are "not as bad" as the garbage can junkie. By perpetuating the foundation for this social hierarchy, middle class America will always believe that they are better than me or the other addicts/alcoholics. In addition, there is still such a huge disparity in this country when it comes to soft drugs (i.e: alcohol, marijuana, painkillers) and hard drugs (i.e.: cocaine, heroin, meth, LSD). In, my opinion they are all the same and to some degree Anti-depressants are the new way our country is being enslaved. I love the part in your piece where you discuss the way the media is telling us to just take a pill and all the depression and anxiety will go away, but just like the very QUIET disclaimer at the end of the Ad mentions, there will be a shitload of side effects. One of them being the destroying of our ability to handle life on its terms. What is your book I would really like to read it?

388261 tn?1215399844
by Junkie, Feb 04, 2008
Funny thing is a lot of the high society normie's have a closet full of drug addictions. They are all hypocrites. Even the High Society Christian (enter any denomination here) who goes to church every day and tries to live like a good lamb and abide by the commandments. They may go home and beat their spouse, get drunk, occasional social drug use, cheating on a spouse, the occasional porn, gambling, child molesting (burn the catholic priests yo) you name it. But, all they have to do is ask big daddy in the sky for forgiveness and it's all ok. Life is dandy and "god has forgiven me".  It's nothing more than a crutch.

Disclaimer: I am in no way putting down any religious person/belief, just religious rules in general as I see them, so don't get your panties in a ruffle and start throwing your drivel at me about hating religion and "their" followers..

Well that's not how it works as an addict. We have no drug "god" to pray to and ask for forgiveness. So who is the junkie here? The addict that admits they are addicted, or the "normies" who continue to lie to themselves and say "I am not one of them."

Our own president, and many before him, was a raging alcoholic, but, he has never been "one of them". "Those disgusting people who take drugs." In fact, our society is so blind, they believe the alcoholic who killed a family of four while driving drunk is better than a junkie. And the thing America will never know is the slew of addicts that are in every economic lifestyle, right in your back yard, the people you depend on. The rich, the poor, middle class, the school principal, the daycare operator, the pilot, the air traffic controller, the doctor, police officer.

And the one thing that scares me more than actual drug use, is the eventual effects that drug will have on your body. Paxil, Prozac, and all anti depressants.....10-15 years later, we are now starting to see loss of long/short term memory, permanent sexual dysfunction, confusion, serotonin syndrome, the list is long.  

Like you said JCam, they eventually destroy the ability to live without the drugs. But, our society will never change. We buy their lies and propaganda, just like Hitler enlisted his country with beauty and lies, we are lied to daily by television, pharmaceutical makers, magazines, money. We are blanketed under this false sense of security created by none other then ourselves and our nation of lies.

"What? I am not a junkie....I just take the occasional Vicodin and drink a bottle of wine every day!"

Alcohol can debilitate a person so they can go for a little drunken drive in their car and kill innocent families and babies.

Tobacco causes cancer, but it doesn't kill innocent families. We choose to smoke.

There are alcohol ad's on TV, radio, billboards, etc. But not one tobacco ad anywhere.

You tell me why our nation is going into the sh*tter.

We are the by product of what the pharmaceutical companies and alcohol companies have made us to be. And they thrive on more addicts being whelped in order to line their pockets.

We are the gerbils.  : )

My book will not be out until August. Thanks for asking.

Avatar universal
by harkless25, Mar 20, 2009
I am writing one right now, it is about my journey into and out of meth addiction.  More matter of fact, and 100% honest.   I would love for you to read it.  I am a 100% with you.  The real straight story needs to be told.  I would LOVE for soem feedback with someone with your presepctive on this.  let me know if you are interested in helping me. email ***@****


Post a Comment