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It's been a while..Baby's Father

Oct 28, 2008 - 4 comments

Well, K (baby's Father) and I have come leaps and bounds in the past couple months..

We are seeing a therapist and trying to work on our communication skills before our son, Jaxson arrives in January. We had sort of "re-sparked" and got back together, then 2 weeks later he says he is not at the same place I am and doesn't love me.. Great...

I am trying to be understanding that he is just totally different than I am, but I do get p i s s e d .. I mean we are having a son and I thought we were working on "us." He thought we working on being friends (with benefits?!) WTF? Talk about constant miscommunication.. It's like we are in totally different relationships and I am typically feeling disappointed or just generally bad.. UGGH

Our current situation is this:

He is willing to help while I am on maternity leave ( I get NOTHING). We live on an expensive island and after much adieu, have decided it would be best for the baby, him, and I to all be together once Jaxson arrives. He is moving into my house on Dec.1. It financially is the best the plan as well.. It's actually the ONLY Plan that makes sense. I think it will be awkward since we have seemingly discontinued our physical relationship, but if I put my emotions on the side burner for a moment, I realize that is going to be worth it to have the help and bonding time for him and his son and give me a rest. If he doesn't move in, I think it would be very difficult and honestly, I want him around for those important bonding times.. We see a therapist every other Thursday and we have an appointment this week.. We shall see how it goes...

((end vent!))

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525485 tn?1314361301
by Lance06, Oct 28, 2008
Glad to hear everything is atleast going smoothly for now! I am sure that over time things will get easier and it sounds like you are making decisions that will not only benefit you both, but your baby boy as well!
Hang in there.....god only gives you what you can handle, and u are a very strong woman!

steph

294043 tn?1354207946
by Helen72, Oct 28, 2008
I am glad you are putting your son first.  You will be a great mother!  
p.s. K sounds like a piece of work!

550546 tn?1249410039
by Avanaar, Oct 28, 2008
I've read about your saga over the past few months, and I'm glad K is at least making an effort to be involved with his son's life.  I know you both view the relationship differently, but like you said, if you can manage to keep your emotions on the backburner, things should work out better if you support each other and Jaxson.  If time goes on and you both find that things are not working out well, you can go back to the way things were (him living elsewhere).  

But it's definitely great that you're both seeing a therapist together.  That will definitely help you with your communications with each other.  And make it clear to him, for your emotional benefit, that if he wishes to remain friends ...there will be no "benefits".  ^.^

145992 tn?1341345074
by mami1323, Oct 28, 2008
I think it's great that you both are willing to seek therapy to work on communication.  I am an advocate for counseling.  It will also help to keep things open as far as how you two view the relationship.  Meaning, you won't think you and him are going to be together and he isn't leading you on.  But it's beautiful that you two are working together to give Jaxson a good life.  Even if it's just being friends for the sake of your son.  That is really unselfish of you both.  I wish you the best of luck.  Hang in there!!!

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