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Week 4 Fri 18.38

Oct 31, 2008 - 0 comments

Feeling a bit cross and angry - I wonder why?  Because I feel lousy today, or because I am realising that this treatment is going to take so long and this is just the beginning. I got over the first month which is supposed to be the worst, now people are telling me it is the first three months that are the worst.  Someone else said the last two months of his 6 months were the worst for him.  Who knows, it all looks bad to me.  First time in my life I have had to take anti-depressants - I might like them. Hope they get rid of some of the irritability, if I don't feel so bad most of the time, it might help with the irritability.

Yesterday I felt good - am surprised at the complete switch.  Nuts.

My partner had been out four nights this week although it has been work stuff.  I know it is good that he gets on with his life when I cannot go out of the house except to work, but I feel lonely when he is not here.  I feel relaxed and happy when he is here.  Pathetic.

Calling myself nuts and pathetic does not indicate a good mood, or high self esteem.  I guess we are all really brave to take on this treatment and we know it will be over one day, not too far in our futures.  Roll on that day.

Coronation Street on soon - my favourite.  

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