May 08, 2012
When I hear the words "Mother's Day" it's like having a red-hot knife go into my heart. Everyone has suggestions of how I can cope with the day. I don't even care. I want to care, but I can't. All I know is that my mom is gone. She hasn't even been gone two months and then this day has to be a big deal that everyone recognizes in our country.
Reminders of it are everywhere. On calendars. Hundreds of cards and posterboards all over stores and in windows. Commercials on TV. Ads all over the internet. People in general asking what plans you have for the day.
Before my mom died, I made her a homemade card for Mother's Day and wanted to give it to her before she passed away, but I was too late. She went unconscious, and the brief time she did wake up, I didn't want to leave her side. So I missed my chance. I'll never get to read her what I wrote, she'll never get to see what I made for her.
I made it through Easter well enough, but the focus of Easter isn't mothers. This is a holiday where I'll be reminded ALL DAY LONG that my mom is gone from my life. Everyone I know personally still has their moms. I feel so alone in this. I wish Sunday, May 13, 2012 could somehow be wiped off the calendar for my day so I won't have to deal with it.