May 12, 2012
It's still hard for me to believe I'm adopting. It's so scary knowing I'm already to emotional and financialy involved and there's still the chance it might fall through. I want this so bad I can taste it. It's been such a long road for me to get to where I am today.. After years and years of BFN's and medications, and surgery's and nothing but dissapointing news time and time again to be told there's no chance I'll concieve on my own without IVF and removing both my tubes... I just don't know if I can handle this being the same. 11 weeks to go and I'll know for sure if I'm going to be a mom or just go home alone.. again... We've gone through so much my husband has been with me everystep of the way and I could never thank him enough. He wants this so bad and talks about the baby all the time saying how he'll wake up every time with the baby and he's ready for dirty diapers etc etc. He's just such a wonderful man and I want this for him so much. I wish there was a way to see the future and just know it's going to be okay. But here I am 3 months away from knowing if I get to actually say I'm a mommy. Guess I'll find out if I get my baby soon enough..