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May 14, 2012 - 0 comments




Tomorrow is the big day, the first appointment. It is exciting but scary. I am afraid of what I might find out. I am afraid that this will not be an option for us because of cost. It is my prayer, my desire to have another child. My child prays for a little sister every night. It is so sweet but also sad. I worry about the possible success then failure with a possible repeat of PPD/PPA. I do not want to suffer that again. My Mother is not really on board and my husband's family seems to care less. They feel that I am too vocal about my infertility issues. I feel that they are not very supportive. We do not have time to wait and see. Being 35, turning 36 enters me into the advanced maternal age. I am not a wealthy person, so I fear that my options may be few. I put all my trust in God, with faith that if it is meant to be, it will happen. I so desperately want to have another baby. Yet, the unknown has caused such great increase in anxiety. I used to suffer, almost on a daily basis with panic attacks. I cannot bear the thoughts of coming off my meds. This is a great unknown. I pray that God will see us through!  Brooke

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