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BREAST CANCER THE ENEMY INSIDE

Nov 15, 2008 - 4 comments

41248?1228722314
I AM TRYING TO BEAT THIS BEAST INSIDE MY BODY THAT IS TRYING TO TAKE MY LIFE AND MY FAITH. I HAD A DOUBLE MASCETOMY AND I AM HAVING THE RECONSTUCTIVE SURGERY. MY SURGERY IS NOT HEALING WELL SO THERFORE THEY CAN'T DO ANYTHING NO CHEMO AND NO SALINE PUT IN MY EXPANDERS.  I AM AT A STANDSTILL AT THIS POINT...I FEEL SO UGLY AND FEEL MY FAITH TRYING TO SLIP I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN. I LOVE THE LORD TO MUCH AND I DO THANK HIM FOR SAVING MH LIFE. RIGHT NOW I DEPEND ON MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MOST OF ALL GOD. I KNOW I WILL ;LOOK BACK AT THIS ONE DAY AND FEEL STRONGER AND LOOK AT THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS THAT GOD HAS GIVEN TO ME FOR THIS LONG TRIP. THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT YOU HAVE CONTINUED TO GIVE ME I TRULY THANK EACH OF YOU FOR WITHOUT YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE,
GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU AND I WILL FOREVER BE IN YOUR GRATITUTE. AND YOUR GRACE FOR GOD HAS GIVEN YOU TO ME.
GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU...ALL MY LOVE, DEE

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683386 tn?1226742798
by sha4Him, Nov 15, 2008
Hi Dee...I understand, I had chemo first though...then double mastectomy with reconstruction.  Had a hard time healing so after 2 months just started getting on the fast track for saline fills...every 5-7 days.  Radiation to follow as soon as possible.  
Have you heard of Caring Bridge...just google it...I set up my own page where loved ones can check how I'm doing, I just keep the journal updated.  Seems just when I need it someone says something to pick me up.
I also pamper myself...I shut the lights off...light a candle or two, turn my favorite worship CD on and get in the shower...I just worship and let the water rinse my fears away...what a special time with the Lord!!  I just lift my hand up and He promises to take it.
I have experienced times also where God seems far away...it usually doesn't last long but give yourself permission to have a off day. May tomarrow bring you a special blessing.
Sisters, Shari

390388 tn?1279639813
by Me967, Nov 15, 2008
Dee Hi.  I have never been threw anything that way so I can't fully say I understand.  I do feel for you though.  I had a friend years ago that had both breast removed and was very depressed for a while and it tried her faith too.  

What you look like doesn't make you beautiful. I've belonged to the itty bitty titty committee for a lonng time.  Now I have  breast you can see, you just have to hide the big big stomach out of the way.  LOL  No Seriously though.  Sorry maybe a bad time for jokes.
Look at your beautiful pictures, read your bible and (as listed above) light a candle and most importantly know that YOU are beautiful!!!!  Don't ever forget that God gave you that....Beauty is from within.  And your right years later you will be helping others threw the same thing saying I remember when......because you are such a great person.  You shine baby and know that your loved by God, your family and your friends.  God Bless You.   Take care;  Amy

458384 tn?1295724256
by momeluv, Dec 07, 2008
My baby girl:
I just read this!  I apologize for not reading it sooner.  I love you babe, and I hope that you are feeling better then you did when you wrote this.  Please always be honest with me!  Don't ever hold back sweetness!  That is what I am here for!!!!  Through the   GOOD  the   BAD   the   UGLY    the   SHITY   and all that, that  entails!  You got that little Missy!!!!!!  I hope so, I don't wanna have to jump on a plane and come and kick you booty!!!!!   ((giggles)))  I love you sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    With all my heart!
God Bless!
Your dorky sister,
Deb

365714 tn?1292202708
by MJIthewriter, Dec 08, 2008
Breast cancer (or any kind of cancer for that matter) really *****. I wish they can find a cure. I really hope things are starting to get better than when the 15th last month when you wrote this.

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