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I went...I saw...I conquered...and it was AWESOME

Feb 13, 2008 - 3 comments

despite all my worry ahead of time, I decided to face my fears and take the boys to the Monster Truck show like I had promised.

Turns out it was not that bad at all! It was so easy and we had a alot of fun.

Friday night I told myself that I was going to wake up in the morning and not worry about it at all. Many times, my problem is that I worry and become anxious well before I even get to the place or situation that I think is going to cause anxiety. This came even after the local news had a story about the fact that there were three events going on at the civic center on Saturday with an expected 15,000 to 20,000 people! For a smaller city, that is crazy!

So I woke up on Saturday with the baby at about 7:00. We ate breakfast, played, and watched cartoons on tv until it was time to get the boys up to get ready. We had to be at lowes at 10:00 for a scouting event where they built wooden valentines boxes. As usual, we were about 15 minutes late to that, but it worked out okay - we left at 11:00 in an attempt to get to the pit party that started at 11:30. This was where we could go down to the track and meet the drivers, take pictures, etc. It takes about 25 mintues to get to the civic center, so I knew we would be late. I thought no big deal though because I didn't think too many people would go to it. I usually like to be the first to anything though because for some reason, going into a crowd bothers me more than already being there and a crowd forming.

Anyway, the Friday beforehand, I bought ear plugs and shooters ear muffs to block out the engine roar and asked Austin, my younger boy, to get the bags with them in it from the table before we left. On the way to Roanoke, my oldest, Telle, pointed out that Austin had not brought the ear plugs (but remembered to get the ear muffs). I also noticed that for some reason Austin had decided to wear a very very dirty white shirt for some reason. So I had to stop at Wal Mart on the way to get the plugs and a new shirt for austin. More late....

There was a shuttle from a parking garage about a mile away from the civic center that I decided to use, so as to avoid all the traffic. I AM SO GLAD THAT I DID. There were so many people already there.

We arrived with about 20 minutes left in the pit party, so I wanted to get as many pictures as I could and find our seats. After about 3 pictures I soon realized the one thing that only happens in sitautions like this - my batteries were almost dead in the camera! in the rush, I compeletely forgot to get more. However, I was able to get enough before it went fully dead; however, my camera does not work as well when the flash is not used - it makes the pictures blurry for some reason.

So we got some pictures and found our seats, which were fantastic! I made a good call in buying them the day beforehand. They were right on the front row at the starting line and were three seats all to themselves. Do not know how I lucked out on that, but I'll take it!

After spending way too much money on tshirts, food, programs, and a stuffed monster truck for the baby, we watched the show and not a single time did I have even a hint of anxiety or panic!

So all in all, the show was great, but I am unsure if it was good because of the actual show or because of the fact that I finally was able to do something and actually have fun. My anxiety has significantly hinder this in the the past 7 years. I am guessing it was a combination of both. I AM still a real person :) and I am getting better! I am so excited.

How did I do this you might ask? Well (and this will not come as a surprise to those of you that know me), I used Dr. Claire Weekes' method of facing, accepting, and floating, which works wonders. Additionally, I did take a miniscule .25 mg xanax before the show started, just to be safe, which I am convinced now I probably did not need! I am going to beat this thing yet!


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by Jennifer375, Feb 13, 2008
You already are Mike!! FANTASTIC!! I read your post about wanting to take the boys, and Im so very glad you shared the 'outcome'! :0)  Its SO empowering to know life CAN go back to the way it was only better because your learning to deal with the feelings and dismiss them when they appear. Iv said on the board before and Ill say it here,, I STILL have days when I feel anxiouse and uncomfortable,, but now that I have confronted the fears instead of trying to depend on hospitals/doctors and pills to keep them under control, life is just so much more beautiful.

*Blessings to you and your family, it is a new more beautiful chapter in the story of your lives together*


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by CaliGirl48, Feb 13, 2008
It was the trip to Lowes that did the trick. Did you wave to the giant Jimmie Johnson poster on the way out :)))

I took my son to Lowes Saturday also and made the Valentine box. We go every Saturday, his little apron is covered in patches now.

Great to hear you conquered it! I'm very proud of you. (I still think it was the trip to Jimmie's house that did it though)


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by shelzmike, Feb 13, 2008
Ha! It is funny you say that because I was thinking of how crappy I was for going to lowes and not home depot - but you know what? I do not care who my driver is - I am not going to drive 25 miles to get to the nearest HD when there is a lowes 5 mins away! I am not that hardcore! (And, I am sorry, it was not the trip to lowes!)


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