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May 20, 2012 - 1 comments

A friend of mine I met on facebook I knew she was friends with a man who I talked to for 1year it was a everyday thing with us..I even helped him when he lost his unemployment went to see him stayed in his house for a week.had sex but I was to big for him to enjoy me...I kept our life line open we talk sometimes but I feel when we talk I babble to much...Today in a message she told me that her boyfriend has left her and got another woman..under her nose...But she is going to visit the man who I like a lot and she wanted to tell me that she is not doing this behind my back..For me I feel she is...............But it hurt I do admit that...I told her I do not want to know if they have a intimate relationship..I wish she never told me....I was never going to find out....Plus I don't have a relationship with him...But if I was to go visit him. After I loose my weight I may of stop by Boston again...But after she telling me this I will never visit him again....My Boston man was a private part of my life That I did not want anyone else to know....I'm a grown woman with still feelings and to read what she said....Have me a little upset......I no longer feel she is a Friend...

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by specialmom, May 20, 2012
Well, that hurts.  I'm sorry that the man in Boston is someone you'd like to date and it hasn't worked out and I'm sorry that your friend is going to visit him as it hurts your feelings and stirs up jealousy, feelings of loss and rejection and probably makes you insecure.  That stinks.  

She did do the right thing in telling you though rather than just going.  Better for her to not put a band aid on her sad feelings of a break up by taking up with a guy you are interested in (which she may not know exactly how much if you've kept that private).  

My dear friend had a crush for sometime on a man.  He did not return those feelings but liked her as a friend.  They stayed friends.  My friend met someone else and they were in a serious relationship when I met her former crush.  He and I hit it off.  She never said she didn't like this but I'm sure it hurt her feelings a bit in that way of reminding her that he didn't want to date her and why does he want to date me?   She was happy in her relationship but at times it was a tiny bit awkward for me.  That man is now my husband and she was in our wedding.  She'd gotten married before us though and I was in her wedding.  We are all now friends as couples.

I tell you this because when you do find a good man for you--------  it will be one that you don't have to worry about presenting yourself in any particular way (thinner---  lose weight for YOURSELF!) and makes you feel like the best catch out there.  My friend and my now husband weren't the best match . . .  she is compatible with the man she ended up marrying.  She is happy now rather than being with a man that didn't return her feelings.  

This is not to say that you shouldn't be hurt now and I think it was great misjudgement on your 'friends' part to try to console herself after a break up with your crush.  That is kind of cruel.  And also cruel on the part of your guy.  Not sure about this dude.  Is he a player?  

Do something nice for yourself today sweetie.  wish I could make this all better ---  peace dear.

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