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Pre-term Labour

Jun 07, 2012 - 27 comments

I finally feel ready to write about what happened to my little Ruby.

Basically they don't really know what caused me to go into preterm labour.  I had some dark yellow discharge last Tuesday and contacted my midwife and she said to go do a urine sample at the lab on the Wednesday morning and then go and see her in the afternoon for a vaginal swab.  Well I did the urine sample on the Wednesday morning but started lightly bleeding around midday and had some mild cramping so I rang my midwife and she said to go to hospital.

I got there and they kept promising me a scan but I didn't get one till the next day (Thursday) at 10:30am. On the ultrasound she was fine and jumping around and happy as but they said my cervix was open and some membranes were bulging into my vaginal canal. They were looking at giving me the stitch but only if my cramping stopped. Unfortunately I started having contractions around midday and went into full on labour and there was nothing they could do, I delivered her on Friday morning at 6:00am. She came out whole in the sac, my waters didn't even break.  It was such a hard labour and I lost a lot of blood, I had to have a blood transfusion in the end.

They still don't know why it happened, one doctor thinks I might have had an infection (but my urine sample and swabs they did in hospital came back clear) and another doctor thinks I might have had an incompetent cervix. I may get some answers once all the tests come back. I can't help but think if they had just scanned me as soon as I arrived in hospital on the Wednesday or even checked my cervix by looking in my vagina they might have been able to do something to stop me going into labour.  I guess I can't dwell on these things but it makes me mad that they didn't take it seriously till it was too late.

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1900942 tn?1462425060
by agrell, Jun 07, 2012
I'm so sorry honey :(

1351078 tn?1416316746
by retta483, Jun 07, 2012
so sorry you probley needed a cercladge :( I hate when Medical people dont take you seriously . Im so sorry I wish things would have turned out diffrent for you . It breaks my heart .

334926 tn?1436815123
by butterflybabies, Jun 07, 2012
I think of you always and I am so sorry. Your right you can't play the what if. You will only drive yourself crazy. Ruby was so loved by many and just cherish the feelings you had when she was here. I know she is watching over you and one day you will be together again.

1571146 tn?1399913292
by Moma_Cher, Jun 07, 2012
I'm so saddened and sorry over this. I cannot imagine how you are processing your grief and shock.

I wish I had words to help you heal but there is just nothing I could say that could express how deep my condolences run. Please take care of yourself and surround yourself with supportive and loving people. Grief counseling may be helpful too. Try not to isolate...

I sincerely believe this hospital was negligent at best and to blame at worst. I would get a lawyer when you feel up to it.

Sending you healing love,


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by plumber43, Jun 07, 2012
I'm so sorry honey! I wish I could give you a great big hug!

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by tones99, Jun 07, 2012
it is truly heartbreaking to read this love ... I knew that little Ruby was healthy so it is just so unfair that this happened .. I wish I could ease the pain you must be feeling.  it will just take a lot of time to get through this .. nothing else really .. and you will always have her with you

please don't stop until you have answers .. you deserve to know!  you need to know for when you are pregnant again .. and you will be!  

We are all thinking of you every day and will continue to .. you are loved xx

1806883 tn?1458324604
by stacey10, Jun 07, 2012
this just breaks my heart as well, you know that when babies are born like ruby was, its called being born in a caulbearer or "born behind the vïëil", they are quite rare and hold special significance to children born in this manner, its quite religous and very special, and she was special, and you hold her in your heart  xxx

296076 tn?1371338074
by melimeli, Jun 07, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss... I am so sorry that there are unanswered questions and I am sorry that the doctors failed you and Ruby.  I pray for you daily.  If you need to talk or cry we will always support you!

1677620 tn?1384144701
by MeYeah, Jun 07, 2012
How my heart aches for you and nothing I can say would ever be the perfect thing to say but I am so sorry this happened to you, your family, and your little ruby.

I just wish for you guys all the love and support you need during this time and wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I am touched and forever changed.

Much respect and love your way. I wish you the best.

1405669 tn?1347571548
by wakejl, Jun 07, 2012
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find peace and healing over time. My heart was so heavy when I read this news. I'm also sorry that the hospital staff didn't take your situation seriously enough. Hugs XXXXX

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by feather2e, Jun 07, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss . I hope you get some answers soon and you can begin to heal. I will say a prayer for your family.

377493 tn?1356505749
by adgal, Jun 07, 2012
I too wish I had the words to make this better somehow.  I cannot even imagine how hard this must be and my heart aches for you.  I do hope you find some answers, and hope that you find peace and eventually healing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  

803938 tn?1403751853
by Ecologic, Jun 08, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss. And for the fact that doctors obviously failed to help you in time. This must be so hard!

I have a friend who lost her 1st child as a stillborn, she was full term and the doctors had failed to detect she had GBS. She was 39.  After the loss she told me 'life goes on'. Life went on: she will never forget her first baby but later on she had 2 healthy babies.

I will keep you in my thoughts!

1169162 tn?1331235953
by nola0805, Jun 08, 2012
While we can't take what happened away, please know that all of MH has been just gutted by your loss and everyone is so profoundly sad. No one should have to experience that kind of loss, and I am just so, so sorry.  You will remain in my thoughts and prayers and you have a whole community here committed to supporting you. I wish you peace and healing.

Sweet, sweet Ruby.  You have such a wonderful mama and she did everything to take good care of you. You are lucky to have her, and I know you will now take special care of her.

1219499 tn?1410753330
by dscoqn, Jun 08, 2012
Thank you to everyone and your lovely comments.  I am in tears over how much you all seem to care and I don't feel so alone in this knowing you are all here to talk to.  You will never know how much all your support means to me and how much impact you have on people's lives.  Thank you so much xx

1293683 tn?1334022810
by tones99, Jun 08, 2012
we are all here for you always   medhelp has indeed been rocked by this

952542 tn?1456767161
by Gardezi, Jun 08, 2012
im so sorry for your loss...such an unbearable thing, but i know you r one strongest woman i've ever ever seen in my whole inspiration in true sense...i cannot imagine how much ur heart must be hurting rite now but i know you'll pull through....and i know deep in my heart that you'll find that peace real soon....All my prayers for you n ur darling ruby.

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by nila220, Jun 08, 2012
My heartbroken.All my prayers for you and u r family.

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by DaylightDancer, Jun 08, 2012
I really have no words, but I wanted you to know I'm crying with you and praying for you, your husband and your beautiful daughter. I have to say I also think your hospital neglected you, which kills me. I also went in to PTL with my first at 18 weeks, but they were able to stop it. How I wish this were true for you too.

Ruby will live on in your heart, and watch over her sisters and/or brothers to come. She will be forever loved. I hope you know that we are all here for you and I personally will do anything to help you, just ask. Hang in there. (hugs)  

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by claud9, Jun 08, 2012
I am so sorry for your loss and admire you. Thank you for sharing your story. This might help someone else down the line.

Avatar universal
by Ginger077, Jun 09, 2012
Hi Dscoqn
I saw all the note from friends sent to you the past few days and checked in on your page. I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry to hear of the tragic events that took place. It's uncomprehendable to me how the hospital and staff dealt with a crisis. My heart just aches for you and your family loosing little Ruby. She will always be with you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you get answers soon so you can begin to heal.

1647475 tn?1363140697
by Kimberleigh2208, Jun 09, 2012
Said another prayer for your heart to be healed of the aching it feels, I know mine aches right along with yours.  I, like others on MH, am grieving over this loss as well and I wish I could hug you and make the hurting stop.  I know I can't do this but I have thought of you often since I read your news and I pray for God to give you and your family strength and guidance to get through this very tough time.  I know there's nothing we can say to bring Ruby back to you but know you are a momma to this beautiful baby, even if she was taken too soon.  Sending hugs and much love your way, Kimberleigh.

1115543 tn?1376384238
by baby2929, Jun 10, 2012
Thinking of you always. X

Avatar universal
by Maybe-baby, Jun 10, 2012
Also thinking of you again today and little Ruby. :( hoping little bits of strength find their way to you to get through each day. Much love xxx

1002983 tn?1349825686
by Marietta2000, Jun 11, 2012
Oh my dear friend, I have such a heavy heart reading this.  I can feel your despair at the medical staff.  I would never want to make you feel worse in anything I say, but yes, I agree, things should have been done differently for you & beautiful Ruby.  I do feel angry & sad about that & how you were seemingly let down so terribly.  The healing will be hard for you & your family, & fearing that not all was done as it should have been, would make the healing process even worse.  When you are feeling stronger, I would try & find answers & find out why you were left to wait when you should have been scanned & examined much earlier.  

Love to you, Ruby & your family XOXOX  

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by pb95, Jun 12, 2012
I think of you a lot right now.  It will be two years next week that I lost my baby at 18 weeks and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  It is horrible that it had to happen to such a lovely person like you.  Medhelp was there for me and I hope you feel the hugs that are coming at you from all around the world.  You are such a caring Mama and Ruby was lucky to have you.

195469 tn?1388326488
by Heather3418, Jun 13, 2012
It has taken me a long time to be able to write to you.  I am so, so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous, Ruby Rose.  I cannot imagine the pain and emptiness that you are feeling.  Especially with the incompetence of the medical staff.  But as you say, thinking about all of that, will not bring back that beautiful baby girl.

I wish that I could reach through this computer and give you gentle hugs and a soft shoulder to lean on.  Sweetheart, if there was anything any of us could do to help you through your grief, we would.  I think you already know that.

I can think of no better place to share your grief than with all these precious ladies on MedHelp.  They are the most loving and caring woman on the whole Internet.  They are angels here on earth with invisible wings.  All of them have the largest hearts, imaginable.  And they speak FROM their hearts.  They speak their true feelings.

I hope that the love and prayers we all send your way, helps you to know that you are not alone in your grief.  We weep with you.

May God be with you and Ruby's daddy, through this tragic time.  Ruby now realizes just how many people really did care for her and her short life here on Earth.  She has made a huge impact on so many people's lives.  Her life was not in vain.

We all love you and are here for you, whenever you want to just talk....  Hugs and Kisses to you and your family and Heavenly hugs and kisses to precious, Ruby Rose.  A special angel indeed.  She was absolutely beautiful and will be missed for a long, long time to come.

from the MS Forum

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