Jun 07, 2012
My brain is in a complete mess after today's meetings and I'm actually starting to even look at myself and question whether my kids problems are more to do with me rather than their individual illnesses ,I AM the common denominator so maybe it is me, Am I the real problem?
If my poor head wasn't going through enough already, these reoccurring questions that keep attacking it aswell are finishing it off!
But I have been reassured by family and a friend that I am not the cause of my children's illnesses ( besides genetically apparently) and to not doubt myself. As a parent how can you not ? When you have not 1 but 2 children/adolescents with mental health and behavioural problems, you have to seriously stop and ask yourself whether if I wasn't in the mix, would there still be 2 kids with life long mental health problems.
I have at least made some progress, I hear you cheer....
Without me, there are still 2 kids with problems !!!!!
And that is my progress, even if I am a terrible mum I'm not solely responsible for their downfall ( I feel so much better now :-# )
Even though today, it felt like I was being accused of not giving my son his medication, or maybe overdosing him, I'm still unclear? His pdoc said I will write you a presciption of his previous medication, tomorrow when I take the remaining 4 tablets into him. So there you have it, I had already asked for him to be referred to another doctor but I felt like I was being accused of something without saying it.
Any thoughts? Would you feel like you were defending yourself too? I can be as paranoid as anyone with a mental illness can feel but come on people.!
As my status earlier said "l may have a mental illness but I am not stupid :-P