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confusion reigns (like usual)

Dec 08, 2008 - 0 comments

Something just dawned on me--I have no idea as to whether I might be on the right track or not?  Last Thursday, (early early morning-like 3:30 a.m.) we were talking (after I broke down crying and he "really" listened to the hurts he's caused) and he said the alcohol had to go.  Well, I think he believes that if he quits, everything will be just fine!  And, because I  have hurts and resentments, which he can't deal with because he doesn't know how, it's why he broke down and bought beer this weekend?  The reason I'm even asking is because Thursday, he had money, and actually walked in the door about 15 minutes earlier than he normally does!  Friday, he walked in the door at 6:10  p.m. instead of 6:30ish!  It's been his pattern to get in sometime around 6:30-of course, I know he's been drinking even though he denies it!  But when he first started working out there, he'd be home anywhere between 5:50 and 6:05 (if the earlier time, he said he got a ride, otherwise he walked).

Just, at this point, trying to figure out what's the use?  He said he'll cut down drinking as long as I stick around!  Hey, I got a straight answer as to when exactly tomorrow is!  (Tuesday)  I actually got quite a few straight answers last night, come to think of it!  That, in and of itself, is very unusual for Dan.

I also just thought of something on my way home--he was probably drinking when he first got out of prison and arrived here, even when we moved into the apartment upstairs.  He wasn't belligerent until after he met Tony and the spot he calls the overlook.  And I'm trying to remember exactly when he told me that Tony had asked him if he wanted some weed, and Dan said no.  It seems to me that it was around that time that Dan started really acting up--just like he had in WV and OH.  

Well, I also looked at his check stub from last Friday, and he told me $6 less than what he'd actually made!  At first, he had said $1 less, then changed it.  And, of course, I looked in his check register.  He deposited his whole check, then withdrew 80%, for rent and "bills".  All I'm aware of that he paid was on the rent, and then he bought 2 50' reams of speaker wire, which was $17.  He also bought toilet paper, and I'm not really sure what else?  Plus he paid cash for the 12 pack he bought when I was with him Saturday night.  So, out of $224, he had $70 left for "bills".  I'm sure he didn't put out a lot in bills, unless he considers drugs "bills"?  

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