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I'm Back!

Dec 16, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

school

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better

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happy

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books

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family

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sleep

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reading

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friends

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worry

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head

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:)



Sorry I haven't logged on in so long! I've been so busy lately, and I haven't gotten around to it..
I've been feeling better. No more suicidal thoughts or anything. <3 I'm so glad. I've been drawing a lot more.
I can't say that everything has been perfect.. just.. better.
Although there has been SO MUCH drama going on! It's insane! I'll post that in another journal, though. I don't feel like typing it all out right now.
The worst thing is the situation with my best friend.
As you all know, I have a best friend named Savana. We get along well because of similar interests and because both of our families are rather difficult to put up with. I'd trust her with my life
But that's the issue right now.
Trust.
I've found out that she's been telling JD (this annoying kid that I hate) about the things we talk about.
It's none of his business! Why should he know? Not to mention she's been lying to me about it! I'm so upset with her!
Hanging out with her used to be so fun, but now it's awkward. We both know that this can't possibly last much longer.
I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. She's the best friend I've ever had. I'm just trying to drag this out so our friendship can last as long as possible. I don't want this to happen. It shouldn't. We're best friends. This isn't supposed to happen.
Why did she have to go and lie to me?
Even though I'm typing this, I keep trying to put the blame on myself, wondering: What did I do? Maybe I said something to upset her. Maybe I annoyed her. Maybe I ticked her off. I probably did something wrong. It's definitely got to be my fault. Yes. That's it. It's my fault. I just wonder what I did.
Although I think all of that, I can't recall a single thing I could have done to make her not want to trust me.
I really wish I knew what's going on here.
Am I a bad friend? I may act like it sometimes, but she should know I don't mean it. At school, I may seem tough or maybe even a bit scary, but on the inside, I'm quiet, shy, and scared. I'm not as strong as I seem. I wish I was. That would make things so much easier for me.
Oh, guess what? It's 1:56 AM right now. I couldn't sleep, the this site popped into my head, and I kind of missed it. I hope I didn't worry any of you, haha. I stayed up reading this book my friends were talking about, called "Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul". It's really good. Apparently, I read for a whole 3 hours. It only felt like 10 minutes! Only a great book can make time pass by that fast.
I suppose I should try to get some sleep.
Good night-- er, morning, really -- people!

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