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The Christmas Sociopath

Dec 22, 2008 - 2 comments

  Oh joy! I have regained my journaling capabilities! I'm so overwhelmed I've forgotten all the deep and crucial things I was so desperate to say - it'll come to me....
  Just got word last night that my oldest child who is now 20 has called his sister to ask for a ride from the airport in the twin cities. She doesn't have a car so I don't know what he'll do but I won't be picking him up. This is the charismatic sociopath who I haven't heard from (except for the complaints of my relations when he "visits" them out of the blue) for about 6 months. I do NOT want him to show up for Christmas - it will just wreck it for me. This kid is always in "take" mode. He does exactly what he wants at all times with just a smile or quick apology. I know it's Christmas and it's the season to give - especially to family but it's so hard to explain. I made a decision concerning him the last time we spoke which was ugly. He denied everything I threw at him which I knew he would but it was too late. I had thought long and hard about why things kept disappearing when ever he was around. How we were always supposed to be there for him - monetarily, to give rides, to feed him. He disappeared with his 13 year old brother last Christmas day and they couldn't be found - though there was desperate searching - before we were obligated to begin the 2 hour treck to our family - without them. He had taken him to go smoke some pot even though his brother was on Christmas leave from a fascility for kids with substance abuse issues. He borrowed hundreds of dollars from his younger sister who had worked at a camp and so had been able to save it up. He's been pan handling - playing his guitar - across the U.S.A and where he got the funds to obtain an air ticket I can't imagine. How cold I sound. It's a distance I have to maintain because it is his nature to undermine it. To find my weakness. To play upon my affection for him. He's done it all his life. I was his first victim but there will be many others. I'm so worried that he will just show up. I need to go over to my mother's house and lock her garage and remind her to keep her house locked up. Who ever has a baby and thinks this will be the outcome? What ****.

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Avatar universal
by LeftCoastChick, Dec 22, 2008
I'm so sorry you are going throught this. My brother is somewhat like that, and I think he is an untreated BP, my parents didn't and still don't have the guts to do anything. He lives at home with them, and is really nasty about them behind their backs. I told him to either shut up or leave.

Have you gotten the police involved? especially with "corruption" of a minor. I would honestly get a restraining order. He needs to leave you alone at least until he gets help. The problem with sociopaths, the can't really be treated though. They are so good at manipulating, you never know whether they are actually responding to treatment or are they manipulating the system. I saw a documentary that figured out that at least 40% of the inmate population were sociopaths on one level or another. In hindsight I've dated two.They suck the life out of you. Sociopaths can blend so well into society, being the cheery manager, but then manipulating individuals until the group dynamic breaks down. There is no good intent with these folks.

I wish you much luck, have the strength to say he's not welcome. I'm sure he can find someone to stay:)

Avatar universal
by Iwilltriumph, Apr 21, 2011
I just wanted to tell you that staying distant is the best thing you can do for right now, but there may be hope.

I am a sociopath with rapid cycling bipolar 2.  I do not feel love or any other emotion unless it directly relates to me.
I have scammed people, used people and hurt people.  I am extremely dangerous at this time in my life because I make decisions based on what I want without any thought to how it affects other people. I came to accept this about myself and I am going in to a psychiatric center later this evening to get help.

I dont want to hurt people anymore.  I want to get better and change. I want to be able to hold a job for more than a few days. I want a family, a husband.......a normal life.

I know that there is no proven treatment for being a sociopath but I believe that if a person can admit to themselves what they really are and are willing to seek god- anything is possible.  

I dont think I will ever love per se,  I think that with years of therapy I may learn to be more considerate of others and take into account the needs and safety of other people. It's not like I do things with the intent to hurt people, I am just so self absorbed in my inner monologe that there is no pause between wanting to do it and doing it where I ask myself how it affects others.

I don't want to give you false hope because most sociopaths never realize what they are and those who do know for the most part don't care. But there is a chance he could decide to change......and when that happens he will need your support.

I spent a large part of my teens in a state hospital.  They are dirty, smelly, and can be extremely depressing.  At one time I felt so alone and hopeless in that place I tried to hang myself from the sprinklers in the ceiling with my bed sheets. No one can voluntarily stay in a place like that without the love and support of those they are familiar with.  Even if he cant feel love Im sure he could understand the value of it in such a situation.  

******EVEN IF he gets help proceed with caution.  your still dealing with a loaded gun,  you just took the gun out of mass murderer's hands and gave it to someone without a conscience and a code of rules they live by.

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