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Worried and Frustrated

Dec 22, 2008 - 2 comments

I'm feeling like I may never be truly engaged in life again.  I feel guilty yet I don't know that I could do anything about it.  I aspirated last night and that was partly my fault.  I ate late.  I have to stop it - my GP and lack of motility etc. always leads to aspiration and I know it!  It makes me feel so bad the next day.  I got no sleep and my fatigue is crippling.  I had left arm numbness today. Also swollen hands - rt worse-very painful!  Pain in left side of back. Feels like a muscle pull but no cause.  Legs feeling weak.

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by Octarine, Dec 23, 2008
We haven't met, but I'm sorry you're having such a miserable time.  Wish there were something I could do to help you.  Your writing tells me that you're a reader, but it sounds like your hands probably don't handle turning pages well.  Would listening to an audio book help you get through these days?  Is that something you could suggest to anyone who might be wondering what to get you as a gift?



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by BOK2Bjan, Dec 23, 2008
Octarine,
How thoughtful of you.  You did do something to help me - you demonstrated a caring spirit - something I have needed the most.  Thank you for that.  And pages are difficult for me to turn, but I wear (when I remember to do so) rubber tips that make it easier.  I have sung in my church choir most of my life - when I was a teen and now as an adult.  Our church's music pastor was let go several years ago and we no longer have a choir sing every Sunday - and also I was very upset by the change - and so stopped participating.  This season, I joined so I could sing again for the few Sundays the choir would sing, and the thing that was so hard was holding the music and turning the pages.  I just couldn't do it.  I was able to sing without using the music but after the 1st Sunday, I realized that standing on the riser wasn't something I could do very well anymore- even leaning on my cane.  I haven't sung since.  Very astute of you to perceive I was a reader.  I enjoy writing and speaking as well, but I'm not sure where my health is taking me - seems to take me mostly to bed!  I'm grieving over the loss of so many plans I hoped would come to fruition.  I know everyone has disappointments but it is always hard to face when the disappointments are yours.  Thank you for your concern - and I will give the audio books some thought.  What is your situation?
Jan

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