Jun 23, 2012
So...... i am very irritated and upset!!
First off i have been feelin great ever since Izaak was born. BUT now it is MY BIRTHDAY..... and......... DF's friends are throwing a party..... not one i am fond of.... i mean a lot of drunk men, a group will be there playing loud music, and tons of his friends and lil tiny females in mini skirts..... it is a Mexican fiesta... lots food etc, anyhow i am just not into it, i quit drinking 2 years ago. and i surely dont wanna be around a ton of drunks with my NB!!! and i told the wife of the one throwing the party i really didnt feel like going and breastfeeding isnt all the way comfortable,,, she said well thats why you will got the room to BF! Like really????!!! so not only will i be around a whole bunch of dumb drunks but i have to hide out with my baby... i really just hoped DF would just say hey what would YOU like to do?? It is ALWAYS what he wants to do and if i dont like it... we stay home!!! JUST NOT FAIR.. i spend all week inside and i would love to get out but not to a party where i will not feel comfortable at.... and THEN the lady was like well w can give you a beer it really helps with milk production,, like really i dont drink and she keeps bugging about it. anyways DF says "you complain your inside all week with no friends but when they invite us you dont want tog go" well yes i would love to get out but not to "party like a drunk mama" i mean hello how about the movies, or lunch in the park, or something like that. So if it is not what he wants to do.. we stay home and it is BUGGING the ish out of me. . . . and today is my friends baby shower and guess what i cant go ;/ because he doesn't want to go the thing is we live on a island far away from the city we live over here close to the navy base..... anyhow, , when we leave on weekends we'd both go so we can stop by the markets for groceries on way back... so yeah i cant go to my friends baby shower that i have known about for 3 months but yet his friends make plans 2 days in advance and we going to that... i said i am going to stay home with the baby he said welli am drinking so will see what time i come home LIKE wtf for realness now.. i dont have a problem that he drinks he barely does but maybe 5 times a year it is his attitude and not understanding i dont wanna be around a whole bunch drunk men, loud music with my baby and i still dont feel 100%...... and kinda wanted to just go out with him and Izaak for my birthday! it is on Sunday but Sunday he plays soccer mid day and takes like 1.5 hours to get to the field. so Sunday was out of the question.... he says i am being un reasonable buti am not i just dont feel like being in that scene anymore sheeze i am 29 years old, not 18-21!!!! it is just not me anymore.... and plus having my baby,,,, and i KNOW all his friends wives will be tryna hold on my baby which just pisses me off... i really dislike a lot of people holdin my baby and they would think i am rude biotch if i didnt let them.. see these people also are on his team!!! i just feel like i am not getting my feelings listened to, i mean last time we went the lady nade me cry because i got so upset!!!! ((( it was a nice sunny day i was outside with izaak he was maybe a week old,,.. the lady told me to go inside that being outside was bad for izaak and bla bla bla' but since i was in her house/yard i dont disrespect so i just went to my truck and stayed there" didnt even eat at bbq.. just broke down and cried.... yeah maybe i am a bit of a brat but i just dont know i feel a little alone........ and upset .