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UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! ;/

Jun 23, 2012 - 4 comments

So...... i am very irritated and upset!!

First off i have been feelin great ever since Izaak was born. BUT now it is MY BIRTHDAY..... and......... DF's friends are throwing a party..... not one i am fond of.... i mean a lot of drunk men, a group will be there playing loud music,  and tons of his friends and lil tiny females in mini skirts..... it is a Mexican fiesta... lots food etc, anyhow i am just not into it, i quit drinking 2 years ago. and i surely dont wanna be around a ton of drunks with my NB!!! and i told the wife of the one throwing the party i really didnt feel like going and breastfeeding isnt all the way comfortable,,, she said well thats why you will got the room to BF! Like really????!!! so not only will i be around a whole bunch of dumb drunks but i have to hide out with my baby... i really just hoped DF would just say hey what would YOU like to do?? It is ALWAYS what he wants to do and if i dont like it... we stay home!!! JUST NOT FAIR.. i spend all week inside and i would love to get out but not to a party where i will not feel comfortable at.... and THEN the lady was like well w can give you a beer it really helps with milk production,, like really i dont drink and she keeps bugging about it. anyways DF says "you complain your inside all week with no friends but when they invite us you dont want tog go" well yes i would love to get out but not to "party like a drunk mama" i mean hello how about the movies, or lunch in the park, or something like that. So if it is not what he wants to do.. we stay home and it is BUGGING the ish out of me. . . . and today is my friends baby shower and guess what i cant go ;/ because he doesn't want to go the thing is we live on a island far away from the city we live over here close to the navy base..... anyhow, , when we leave on weekends we'd both go so we can stop by the markets for groceries on way back... so yeah i cant go to my friends baby shower that i  have known about for 3 months but yet his friends make plans 2 days in advance and we going to that... i said i am going to stay home with the baby he said welli am drinking so will see what time i come home LIKE wtf for realness now.. i dont have a problem that he drinks he barely does but maybe 5 times a year it is his attitude and not understanding i dont wanna be around a whole bunch drunk men, loud music with my baby and i still dont feel 100%......  and kinda wanted to just go out with him and Izaak for my birthday! it is on Sunday but Sunday he plays soccer mid day and takes like 1.5 hours to get to the field. so Sunday was out of the question.... he says i am being un reasonable buti am not i just dont feel like being in that scene anymore sheeze i am 29 years old, not 18-21!!!! it is just not me anymore.... and plus having my baby,,,, and i KNOW all his friends wives will be tryna hold on my baby which just pisses me off... i really dislike a lot of people holdin my baby and they would think i am rude biotch if i didnt let them.. see these people also are on his team!!! i just feel like i am not getting my feelings listened to, i mean last time we went the lady nade me cry because i got so upset!!!! ((( it was a nice sunny day i was outside with izaak he was maybe a week old,,.. the lady told me to go inside that being outside was bad for izaak and bla bla bla' but since i was in her house/yard i dont disrespect so i just went to my truck and stayed there" didnt even eat at bbq.. just broke down and cried.... yeah maybe i am a bit of a brat but i just dont know i feel a little alone........ and upset .

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1726707 tn?1362530938
by Shyladybaby27, Jun 23, 2012
Annaluna first off Happy birthday and I clearly cannot say anything to make you feel better but mine is acting the same way he works every weekend and goes out all night as well

1806883 tn?1458321004
by stacey10, Jun 23, 2012
happy birthday as well, but there is no way that I wouldnt go to the baby shower, I cant understand why you cant go without him, baby showers arnt really interesting for guys, , I think that you should start having a life that includes you going out, even if its just with baby, to have a decafe/coffee at a cafe or park, maybe organise to meet up with your new friend just to get some time out, I wouldnt wait to do stuff with him, I know that you want to, but if you just wait around you will end up by getting dissapointed all the time, you should never wait for a man to take you out/make you hppy, you can do it yourself :)

973741 tn?1342342773
by specialmom, Jun 23, 2012
Happy birthday for sure.  This is when a stomach ache comes in handy.  You don't have to go to any drunk fests that you don't want to go to.  You just don't feel up to it.  If DF still insists on going  . . . well, okay.  But you didn't plan it and it isn't your idea of fun right now, you are staying home.  have fun dear.  Sometimes you do have to draw a line in the sand.  If you are uncomfortable doing that, go for one hour.  Then bolt.

I'd also go to the shower, you and your baby.  Forget the market.  If you didn't go, you wouldn't be going to the market anyway.  so who cares if he comes with you and you skip the market.  It is the same as not going together and skipping the market.

I don't want you to fight with him though.  You need to share your expecations and boundaries.  You aren't a partier and you aren't interested.  If he wants to go out with another couple of have them over or something like that, okay,  If he wants a beer himself, okay.  But you are not into the party scene right now as you are a mother now and into THAT.  I do let my husband have a bit of 'guy' time at a happy hour or something like that because he still likes to talk the guy talk and hang with his buds over a . . . bud.  so, I don't mind him going once in a while as long as he doesn't abuse it and is faithful and loyal and all that . . .  just don't drag me into it.  

Anyway, it is a hard time after a little one to transition into new roles.  I do wish you luck.  Set up a date even if you have to plan it.  good luck and peace

1706625 tn?1343061713
by annaluna, Jun 29, 2012
the reason i don't drive myself is that i cannot see at night..... and it is far from where we leave and it started late and ended late... but i will see her soon she is having her baby at same hospital i did, and it is close by.


as for my bday it sucked..... i was bored... didnt barely eat. turned out it was one of his friends birthdays as well... thats what the party was for. then 1 day later i end up with mastitis and still have it... its been a very lovely week....... ;[

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